Slashtastic

Fri, 29 Sep 2006 20:25:00 GMT

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Sun, 28 May 2006 08:39:35 GMT

Title: Cold Day in July

Rating: PG

Pairing: Mark/Tom

Disclaimer: I do not own Mark or Tom. This is a story made of from the pit of my little mind

Summary: Tom decides he isn't gonna put up with Mark abusing him anymore.

Note: This is the suckiest story I have ever written. It's 3:00 am and I got this little crappy plot and after almost a year with writer's block I puke this up. Jesus...I can't believe I'm posting this. Everybody join: blink_slash182 for all your Blink 182, Plus 44, AVA, BoxcarRacer, and Transplants slash needs ^^

It was a rainy, July evening, and nothing could be heard outside except rain hitting the pavement, and the soft whimpers of a young boy.

Tom Delonge sat on the porch of his (and his boyfriend Mark's) home, and dabbed his swollen eye with a wash cloth. He was alone tonight, like most nights, putting up with the aftermath of Mark's hissy fits or drunken outburst which usually left him bruised, bleeding, and unconcious on more than one occasion. The next day, or next couple of hours, Mark would come back, apologise, and Tom would take him back. The next day it'd start over again.

He really couldn't remember what he'd supposedly done wrong this time either to give him his newly black eye. Probably blink wrong or some stupid shit. Mark always found some excused to hit him, but tonight after a lot of thinking, Tom decided he was sick of it. He peeled the wet cloth from his face and looked up and down the empty country road in front of his home.

"I wonder where the son of a bitch is." Tom thought aloud.

Not moments after he'd spoke, a pair of heads lights glow at the end of the road. Tom watch the small, blue truck screech to a halt in front of the house, and a messy looking Mark step out of the driver's side. Tom's eyes narrowed.

"He's not getting back into this house," he thought angriliy.

The younger boy scrambled to stand and headed into the house before Mark could. He latch the door behind him, as well as the back door. He could hear footsteps, then a soft tap at the door.

"Go away!" the younger boy shouted.

Mark sighed, "Baby, I'm so sorr-"

"I don't wanna hear it. I'm through." Tom interrupted.

"Just let me in, and we'll talk."

"No way! It'll be a cold day in July before I let you back in this house."

Everything went silent for a moment. Mark leaned against the door and slid slowly to the ground. Tom watched him from the small window in the door. A quiet sob escaped the older mans lips, and Tom glared, yet he was shocked. Mark never cried.

"Tom please..."

No answer.

"At least let me talk to you face to face before I go."

There was silence, then the sound of deadbolt being turned, and the jiggling of a chain could be heard, and the door flew open. Mark's tear filled blue eyes stared up into the abused brown eyes of his lover.

"Five minutes and that's it. Don't try to talk me out of it. My mind is made up. Like I said, it'll be a cold day in July before we get back together. I'm done.

Mark nodded and touched Tom's hand before walking into the house. Tom wrapped his arms around himself, and stepped outside. He was free. There was no way Mark could apologise his way out of this.

"Tom..." Mark's voice called softly from the living room.

Tom sighed and looked up at the sky. It was slowly getting darker, and the rain began to fall a little harder. A soft, cool breeze rustled Tom's hair and he shivered.

"It awfully cold to be July", he thought. Before stepping inside, and locking the door behind him.

Fic: Captivate Me

Wed, 07 Sep 2005 19:53:50 GMT

Title: Captivate Me
Author: Me, elvenpirate
Pairing: Billie Joe Armstrong/Tony Lovato
Rating: NC-17
Summary: When Billie Joe offers to teach him everything he knows, Tony learns about a lot more than just showmanship.
Disclaimer: Not real, I only wish it were. I don’t own Billie or Tony, which sucks, but if anyone wants to buy them for me… ;-)
Notes: I don’t know where this idea came from, think it may have been a dream I had, but Cassie kept bugging me to write it, so here it is, hope you all enjoy.

Tony stood in the crowd, staring at his idol on the stage. He tried to commit every movement his hero made to memory, wanting to learn as much as he could from the master before his band made it big. Up on stage, Billie Joe’s attention was grabbed by a blond guy about three rows back. Instead of jumping around and singing along, he was just standing, concentrating on the stage and on him. Billie smiled at him, but the guy didn’t realise, so absorbed was he.

“Is everyone having a good time?” Billie yelled. The resounding “YES!” almost deafened him. “Well I’m guessing you guys know what’s coming next… Are there any drummers out there?” He looked at the blond boy, nope, not a drummer. He picked someone else to come onstage and passed the girl over to Tre. “Any bass players?” Again, nothing from the blond. Billie picked a teenage boy and left him to Mike. “Finally, and most importantly, any guitar players here?” Billie looked around and grinned. The blond had raised his hand. “How long you been playing boy?”
“Six years.” Tony managed to get out, Billie Joe Fucking Armstrong was talking to *him*.
“Good. Get your ass up here then.” Tony did, being enveloped in a hug as soon as he reached Billie. “Are you alright? You don’t seem to be having fun?” Billie whispered to him.

“Yeah, I’m just… You’re my fucking hero.” Tony blurted. Billie smiled and turned back to the crowd as he explained what the kids were going to do. He turned around to show Tony what to play, but saw him already moving his fingers into the positions. “You like Op Ivy…?”
“Tony. And yeah, I do.” Tony grinned, a hint of cockiness showing in his grin. Billie liked him. The kids did good, and as Billie kissed Tony on the cheek he whispered, “Wait backstage for me.” Tony just nodded and walked to the side of the stage, watching every little thing that Billie Joe did that made him such an incredible frontman.

Before too long, Green Day strutted off the stage to thunderous cheering. On seeing Tony actually waiting like he’d asked, Billie’s face broke into an even bigger smile. “Hey Tony.”
“Hi. You guys kicked ass.”
“Thanks.” Billie slung his arm around Tony’s shoulders and led him to the dressing rooms. He grabbed them both a beer and sat down near Tony on the couch. “So, you enjoyed the show?”
“Yeah, I want my band to be like you.”
“Your band?”
“Yeah. I’m the singer.” Tony smiled; his confidence returning.
“What kind of stuff do you play?” Billie Joe leaned forward, interested.
“Pop punk. Kind of like Green Day and Good Charlotte.”
“Cool.” Billie paused. “You looked out of it earlier, sure you’re alright?”
“Yep.” Tony blushed a little; “I was focused on you, and the way you move, and the way you work the crowd. That’s how I want to be.” Tony admitted.
“Maybe I can help you? Teach you what I know?” He shifted closer to Tony, who didn’t move away.

“I’d love that, if you’re sure you don’t mind.”
“I wouldn’t offer if I minded, kid.” Billie laughed as Tony impulsively hugged him. “There are some ground rules.” Tony listened intently. “I’m your master, I know what’s best for you, so you do what I tell you, okay?”
“Okay.” Tony looked down, willing his arousal to subside, having been turned on by Billie’s first rule.
“Second,” Billie tipped Tony’s head up so their eyes met. “Whenever you address me, you look at me, look me in the eyes.”
“Okay.” Tony met Billie Joe’s gaze, his ice blue eyes mesmerised by the sparkling green of Billie’s. In the minute their gazes were locked on one another they both realised a lot about themselves, and each other. Billie broke the contact. “Much better.” He smiled, “I bet you have a demo tape on you, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” Tony pulled it out of his pocket, fiddling with his lipring as he waited for the music to come on, and his hero’s opinion. After three songs, Billie Joe stopped the tape. Tony met his eyes nervously. “There’s definite talent, and with a little help you guys will be amazing.”
“Help us?”
“I already said I would kid. Who are your band?”
“We’re called MEST. And it’s me, I sing and play guitar – as you know. Jere – Jeremiah – he plays guitar and sings. My cousin Matt, he plays bass and sometimes sings. And Nick. Or Gigler. The drummer, he’s crazier than me.” Tony laughed.
“Maybe so, but he’s not sitting here, so he’s not important at the moment. YOU’RE the frontman, it’s all about you. Sad, but true, it’s all about the showmanship, and you can’t do much behind the drumkit.”
“Unless you happen to be Tre Cool.”
“Unless you happen to be Tre Cool.” Billie agreed. “Now, your first lesson.”

“Yes Sir?” Tony asked eagerly. Billie Joe stifled a moan. A hot young blond, eager to please, calling him ‘Sir’. He squirmed to get comfortable. Tony noticed and smiled to himself. Maybe he’d have a little fun with his idol. “What would you like me to do, Sir?” A little emphasis on the ‘Sir’.
“First,” Billie regained a little control over his senses, “You have to work the crowd, get them eating out of the palm of your hand…” This time, Tony shifted closer. “Then, when you have them that close, you pull them closer…” Billie pulled Tony closer still. Tony closed the gap, pressing his lips to Billie's. Billie kissed back, teasing Tony’s tongue with his own. Tony pulled away. “I can’t believe I just did that, I’m sorry, you were just trying to help and I jumped on you.”
“Why are you apologising? If I didn’t want it I wouldn’t have flirted, or kissed you back.” He took Tony’s hand. “I like you, and I want to help you. I want to teach you.”
“I want you to.” Tony replied, a little overawed.

“What do you want me to teach you? Apart from how to be a sexy frontman? Which I doubt you’ll need much help with.”
“I want you to teach me, Sir, how to be a master onstage… and your slave in the bedroom.” Tony raised an eyebrow in hope. Billie Joe grinned and pulled Tony into another kiss. “I think I can do that.” He murmured against Tony’s lips. “Now… before we begin, another beer?” Billie asked, standing and heading towards the refreshment table.
“Please Sir.” Tony replied, watching in confusion as Billie Joe picked up a bowl, and poured a can of beer in, bringing both the bowl and another can back over to Tony.

He placed the bowl on the floor in front of Tony. Tony just looked at him. “You’re my pet. Pets don’t drink out of cans.” Tony whimpered and got on his hands and knees, tongue extended to taste the alcohol, cheeks flushed. He looked up at Billie Joe through long dark eyelashes and Billie had to stifle another moan. Tony continued lapping at the beer, attempting to seduce his master with his actions. Watching him, Billie groaned and pulled him up. “Pets don’t wear clothes.” He commented, smirking. Tony nodded mutely, starting to remove his clothes. Once he was totally naked, Billie pushed him to his knees. “Good boy.” He praised, kissing Tony’s cheek. Tony grinned, he already liked the way Billie Joe was teaching him, and it was obvious to Billie just how much his charge was enjoying it.

Billie's eyes sparkled as he tilted his can and a small stream of beer landed in his lap. Without even waiting to be told, Tony nuzzled his master’s crotch, blowing warmth onto the damp area. “Uh… take them off… they’re wet… I can’t wear ruined pants…” Billie stuttered, his muscles quivering as Tony liberated him from his confining jeans. Tony got a not so little surprise when he pulled Billie's pants off – he wore no underwear. Tony couldn’t hold in his moan at the sight of Billie Joe Armstrong, naked from the waist down, hard as a rock, right in front of him. Tony kissed the head of Billie's dick, unable to resist. This time it was Billie Joe’s moan that could be heard.

Tony grabbed Billie's beer, took a swig and immediately sealed his lips around his master’s erection. “Oh fucking hell Tony! Jesus Christ!” Billie Joe squirmed under Tony’s ministrations. He bucked his hips towards Tony as he swallowed the beer against the sensitive tip of Billie's dick. Tony continued sliding Billie down his throat until his nose was tickling Billie's pubic hair. “Oh fuck, Tony, baby, I’m so close…” In response, Tony pulled back a little, his tongue pressing the hard length into his cheek, letting Billie Joe see the outline of himself. That was enough to make Billie come hard into Tony’s mouth, muttering random obscenities as he did.

He pulled Tony up to his mouth and kissed him deeply. “You’re a quick learner – good boy.” He noticed how hard Tony was and how desperate for a release he must be. “Do you want a reward, boy?”
“Yes… Please Sir…” Tony begged. Billie Joe just smiled, “Hands and knees.” Tony did as requested, his ass facing Billie. Billie Joe poured a little beer over Tony’s ass, dribbling it between his cheeks, using it for lube as he thrust into Tony in one smooth motion. “Fuck!” Tony cried out, the feeling overwhelming him. Billie set a fast pace, thrusting in and out of Tony’s pale ass hard. “Touch yourself.” Billie instructed, noting that Tony did as he was told. Between his hand and Billie Joe’s dick, it didn’t take long for Tony to come, his orgasm triggering Billie's second. Billie pulled Tony to him, kissing and nibbling his shoulder as he came back down.

“Was that okay?” Billie Joe asked softly, “I didn’t hurt you, or scare you?”
“Fuck no.” Tony replied, grinning his now infamous cocky grin, “I loved every second of it… Sir.”

-El fin-

Wed, 03 Aug 2005 20:23:05 GMT

TitleNothing More, Nothing Less
AuthorJesse aka blind_by_fear
PairingTwinses
FandomGood Charlotte
DisclaimerI own no one, I do not lay claim to anything, really.
SummaryNothing more, nothing less
DedicationEastyn, because he has been so great recently between my disappearing acts, and for biting me when I've been bad.... bad, bad me.
RatingG, no perverse thoughts, no bad language, so G

I sat in the over-stuffed chair, thinking so hard I already thought of heading towards the compound’s infirmary. I thought better as I realized it would just come back, worse than before, and you’d know. You always know. Then again, you would probably come to expect that from us about now. Twenty-six, and we know so much about each other.

I’ve found I know so little. Yes, we may be twins, but we can’t know everything about each other. Maybe that’s the beauty I’ve found in you. You seem to know me perfectly well without having to bat an eye. Well, that’s not exactly what I’m here to talk about, so I’ll get on with it.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking recently. I’ve thought about how much I really love you. You may think: Haven’t I told you we’re twins? We’re not allowed to do that, Benji, it’s wrong. It’s sinful.

I know, but you have to give me the benefit of the doubt and at least let me explain myself before you threaten to detonate a bomb from under my feet.

Do you remember Mom’s cough medicine? The stuff she made with whiskey? How we used to talk all day and all night, just so our throats would get a little scratchy and dry, then we’d beg for cough medicine? That was the time I truly treasured with you. Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing less than us being foolish. We would grin at each other once we drink it, immediately feeling better, of course. Mom would laugh and shake her head, telling us to behave at least partly decently for the company over for the afternoon. That was when we were foolish.

Do you remember the times we would take all the cushions on the couch and tower them in the middle, then make blankets hang from each side to the arms of the couch, making two small caverns where we would play, separate for only a few moments before one of us got paranoid of the dark, and scurried over, crawling in beside the other? How we used to try to outlast the other by making bombing noises? How you had that one whistle that scared me half to death and made me practically leap in beside you? How naïve I was? Nothing more, nothing less. Nothing less than a pair of naïve children. Dad would shake his head, returning once more to his television show from his safe position in the armchair, until we both became paranoid and lunged at him, snuggling until bedtime. That was when we were naïve.

That was when I truly treasured being near you. Nothing more, nothing less.

Tell me how you like it. Please, I really would like some feedback, seeing as I don't think I've ever done the twins together.

Wed, 20 Jul 2005 15:24:25 GMT

right im looking out for a beta i really really need one my old beta got baned from this site and her parents wont let her do any mpre things so could some one please come to my resque and be my beta for the fic im writeing at the min because other wise i wont be able to post it any more cos basicly i cant spell and have really bad grammer as you may have noticed so somebody please help me!!!

the fic is called lie i know some of you may have read it

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 18:51:22 GMT

Title: Yummy
Author: Jesse aka. blind_by_fear
Pairing: Mike Dirnt/Billie Joe Armstrong
Fandom: Green Day
Summary: "You have very yummy hipbones."
Disclaimer: don't own, don't sue... because this is very fictional. If any of these events prove to be somehow true in real life, I shall tell you, then it will have been a coincidence.
Rating: R to NC-17 (I'm not too sure which it is.)
Author's Note/Dedication: to eastyn Because we have a love for the yummy hipbones on us guys. Also to any reviewers and/or readers who do not comment. Umm...I wrote this fic at 4:11 in the morning, so hopefully it's okay and not too badly done.</b>

“Yummy”

I ran a hand through my coal hair, laying on my back, my boxers and a normal t-shirt on as I stare at the plain wood ceiling over me from the other extra bunk. I made no movement, no sound, yet was completely relaxed as I heard rustling from the bunk across the way, then slowly turned my head as my curtain was drawn back. Light from my nightlight flooded Mike’s face, I watched him look me over with sleepy eyes. I found his stop at my bare stomach, hipbones poking out from the hem of my boxers. His eyes then found mine, knowing that I had seen where he was looking.

“You have very yummy hipbones.” I didn’t move other than to raise my right eyebrow, cocking it at him as if I was trying to entice an explanation out of him. When that didn’t work, I resorted to a sleep-rasped voice.

“I do?” The question was only two words, but it seemed to dwell in the air. I was waiting for a vocalized answer, but instead saw his head dip down, a moist, warm tongue touching to my skin stretched over my hipbones, my eyes seemingly shooting open, tracing down to where he drew over my hips with his tongue.

A small whimper escaped my lips seconds before he lifted up, looking at me from a slightly different angle now.

“Yummy.” I rolled my eyes slightly, trying to ignore the growing hard on in my boxers, turning away from Mike and laying on my side, back turned to him.

I didn’t bother to acknowledge his scooting into my bunk, curling around me, resting his lips on my pale skin, the hairs on the nape of my neck prickling at the sensation. Consciously I turned one-eighty degrees, facing him with a blank look.

“Mike…” I began slowly, drawing out the question, “what are you doing in bed with me?” We both very well knew he was a full blown adult at thirty-two, so he couldn’t pull the ‘nightmares’ thing he used when we were younger. And I knew perfectly well those weren’t nightmares.

He tried to smile slyly, but it was laced with sleepiness, his only answer coming in the form of a sloppy kiss, not one I objected to. It slowly dawned on me that this was a straight best friend and it was the middle of the night. And he was pulling me closer, I was perfectly fine with that idea.

He held me close, continuing the kiss, yet deeper. Something I wasn’t even used to Mike doing on stage. He pulled my legs between his, my hips pressed to his. He let out a hitched breath, saying the word almost as a whisper as we pushed our hips together tighter.

“Yummy.” I went along. What’s wrong with a make out session with your best friend? We were on the road, after all. He kept kissing me deeply, soon rolling to push my legs apart, settling between them, over me now, and not breaking the kiss. Having him over me the way he was turned me on more, the kiss getting hungrier.

He was grinding into me, not that I minded, beginning to vocalize more, my want and need for this to keep going, his lips detaching from mine, lowering to the milky skin on my neck and collarbone, his tongue toying with it, teeth nipping until he left a red blotchy patch of skin.

His fingers darted to just under my shirt, and I allowed him ease in taking it off, then making a slight sound as he began playing with the hem of my boxers, unsure of the situation, but letting him keep going. He smiled, ridding me of these, then stripping himself, his hand falling to rest around his hard cock. I watched, moaning under my breath, knowing better than to touch myself, then feeling a finger penetrate me, taking in a large gasp of air, not used to the feeling of it.

He then pushed in a second, making me feel more than a little weird, yet in no way violated. He pushed them in farther, a twinge of pain connected to the movement, then increasing awkwardness with the way I felt, but pushing back against his fingers, eyes closed, then opening as he withdrew them, already lined up to my entrance, my eyes widening, but not having time to protest as he pushes in with one fluid stroke, a groan and awkwardness increasing once again, pain blinding me for a few seconds before my clouded vision settles on his slightly concerned face.

He waits for me to adjust, then rocks his hips, biting his lip. He waits for my okay, then increases his movement, earning a slight moan from the friction from both of us; him increasing his pace and movement quickly, a blinding white sensation of pleasure washing over me. We quickly reach the edge, gasping, moaning, clawing at each other, Mike reaching down to finish me off at the same time as himself, hearing him breathe my name as he spills into me, biting his lip before pulling out and holding me close, cuddling into each other. This will be alright, for now.

Hard To Say

Sun, 17 Jul 2005 22:09:40 GMT

Title: Hard To Say
Author: black_vinegar
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Pete Wentz/Quinn Allman/Bert McCracken
Warnings: Drugs
Summary: All Pete wants is a night alone with Quinn, but Quinn can't take his mind off Bert getting high with Gerard. When Quinn brings Bert back to their room, he gets an idea.

Part One

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 00:52:36 GMT

Title: Desperado
Author: moi, Jesse, blind_by_fear
Pairing: Billy Martin/Joel Madden
Rating: NC-17*
Summary: A quick fuck, and tutoring on the way home...
Disclaimer: -checks closet- sorry, I can't find them...must've ran away or something.

Desperado

I leaned down, grabbing my binder and shoving it in my bag, bolting out to the bus and letting it take me on it’s windy, long route to the Jacob’s place. That’s where he stayed, waiting for me in the driveway with his car. I hopped off the bus and walked casually over to the door to the passenger side of the Mustang Convertible, even though my stomach was raging with anxious, biting butterflies. I tossed my bag in the back and climbed in, running my fingertips over the leather seat with one hand, the other resting on the black, shiny, painted door.

He reversed it, then peeled out, staying silent for the ride to his apartment. I left my bag in the car as we seemingly took forever just getting up the one flight out of four on the way to his place. As we got there, he hurriedly unlocked the door, throwing it open and pulling me inside, grabbing the keys and tossing them onto the nearest table, slipping himself out of his jacket. I looked down at myself, kicking off my shoes and peeling off the strangling hoodie I had on.

“Billy…” I snapped my eyes up to him as he came forward, pushing me flush against the door, lips to mine, sending shock waves down my spine. I kissed back hungrily, missing his touch, taste, feel, everything. Fiery, quick kisses were my indulgence as we groped and whimpered, trying to shred every piece of unwanted and unnecessary clothing. He took only a split second to detach his lips from mine, sending my shirt to the floor as well as his own, then attaching his lips to my neck, his tongue flicking the skin gently, and the heat becoming unbearable as he pressed his hips against my own, grinding lightly.

“Joel…” I half mumbled, half moaned, feeling his hands drift over my hips to my belt, undoing it and getting my pants undone, letting them slide down tantalizingly slow. He smoothed his hands, palm against the milky white skin on my stomach, the once anxious butterflies now calmed as my hands wrench at his clothing, getting it off in record time. His arms slipped around me, casually sucking on the skin covering my collarbone, decorating it with his own tasteful mark. My boxers and his, both, were gone within a few seconds of wandering hands, the pace picking up as he ran his fingers down, finding my entrance quickly.

He just let them stay there, teasing my puckered hole for a while, moving back up to kiss me once more, suddenly plunging two fingers in, scissoring and twisting his wrist soon after, causing a slight jolt of pain, but nothing I wasn’t used to. After a never ending session of that, he worked my skin with his tongue, all across my jawline, my neck, my shoulders, my chest. He loved to watch me writhe under his gaze, all the time. He withdrew his fingers and mouth, flipping my light weight body around easily, causing me to face the wall, hands held in a locked position overhead, one of his own keeping them in place. He moved his hips, presumably lining himself up before bucking his hips forward, slamming me into the wall, a wince and burning pain trickling up my back and throughout my ass. His other hand rested on my side, stroking it gently, showing me he still cared. He pulled back, tossing me forward again with his momentum, my body able to be tossed around anyway, eyes watering a bit.

He lasted a while, pounding his hips into mine in a rhythmic motion. With one last thrust he came, my torn insides lighting like a kerosene-soaked dress lying beside the fire. He pulled out after a moment, pushing my clothes into my hands, not giving one look or second thought as he dressed, grabbing his keys and leading me back to his car, letting me get my Algebra book out, beginning the problems and throwing questions to him. This was the way it was every Thursday after school. A quick fuck, and tutoring on the way home, getting it finished in time to step through the door and nod to my mother, waving him away and closing myself off from the outside world by my headphones.

Comment please, because I am a comment whore.

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 17:47:48 GMT

the third chapter to lies and i thank anybody who reads this and will give out free hugs cookies and milk if you review and thank you to my beta you know who you are alana

TITLE:lies
RATEING:pg 13 i guess
PAIRING:joel/billy
SUMMARY:joel and billy have been together for quite a while but nobody knows its all lies and secrates so whats the reaction when it accidently all comes out in the open?
DISCLAIMER: i hate these things right if i knew or owned them do you really think id be sat here writeing these storys ...no i wouldnt so sadly i dont know and dont own never have never will and this is all from my sick twisted imagination

Joel had stood up and so had Paul I could tell they where both on guard in case he did something

“Look I erm…….came to apologize for what I did earlier I was out of line”

“Damn right you where benj”

“Look Joel I don’t want this to come between us im not bothered really im not if this is
What you want im fine with it”

He looked up at his brother “you mean that because this is really what I want”

“I mean it Joel I don’t want to not talk over this right and who better for you to be with but my best friend”
I smiled and so did Joel and Paul “so if you want to be with Billy fine”

Benji walked over to Joel and they hugged then he turned and looked at me he smiled and hugged me to
“You finally got him I knew you had a crush” I smiled

“Yeah I guess you where right there” every one sat down and started talking just like

Before only now I was sat with my arms around Joel he was holding my hands we where finally out in the open and I couldn’t help but smile. Everything was how it should be I had Joel and Joel and Joel still had his brother.

It had been a few days since we came out and everything was fine Joel was right nothing had changed except the fact that I could get away with checking Joel out now.
We had decided not to tell the press just for the fun of it and I didn’t think that Joel was that ready for the fans questioning and the press doing the same so we kept it to family and friends Joel had called his mum and told her she said as long as he was happy so was she. My mum reacted the same way; everything was great better than great things were perfect.

I was in the hotel room packing up mine and Joel’s things, Joel had gone somewhere with Paul and Chris we where getting ready to go back home for a few days. I was singing along with muse full blast and the door went I smiled I told him to take the key card to get back in I walked over to the door and opened it

“I told you to take the- oh hey benji I thought you where Joel”

“Yeah that used to happen a lot but not as much now” he smiled and walked inside I smiled to

“Well your not exactly identical anymore are you?”

“Yeah guess not” he smiled looking down at his multi colored arms

“So what’s up I thought you’d gone out with the guys?”

“They invited me but I decided to stay behind and pack”

I looked at him “what you’d rather stay and pack than go and have fun with them what’s wrong you sick?”

I smiled so did he “hey I pack”

“Yeah at the last minuet you never pack in advance ten minuets before we leave for the
Airports your stuffs still all over the floor”

“Ok what ever I get the point I just didn’t feel like going out”

I laughed “seriously are you sick you’re always up for going out?”

“I just didn’t for some reason thought I spend some time with you since you and Joel are now all couply I never really get to see you anymore”

I smiled “its just we can spend as much time together and not have to lie about it, it just takes some getting used to I guess”

“Billy …….?”

“What?” suddenly he sounded all serious like hed been thinking about this for a while

“About the other day I didn’t mean to hurt you, you know….”

I sighed with relief “oh don’t worry bout It im fine I understand you lost your temper”

“Yeah and you know I wouldn’t hurt you like that again well ever…”

“Yeah I know that c’mon how long have I known you?”

“Exactly ………..I…… love you Billy”

“Love you to benj”

“No ...I love you”

My eyes widened I looked at benji he couldn’t make eye contact he was looking at the floor his voice was small I couldn’t believe I was hearing this

“What?”

“You heard what I said”

“But you always made those jokes said those things”
“I never meant it I was just I guess ashamed of it I wasn’t ready to say anything”

God brothers are alike I couldn’t help thinking it

“and then I saw you and Joel together and it broke my heart that’s why I reacted the way I did I couldn’t handle the fact my brother had beaten me to you and that you where so happy with him I just couldn’t handle it but I thought id better tell you just so you know”

I was stunned I couldn’t believe he was saying all these things he meant them I could just tell by the tone of his voice I backed in to the bed and sat down my head heavy with what hed just said.

“benj …….I have feelings for you too I always have but im with Joel just me and Joel are happy you can see that your self like you said me and Joel happened first and if it had been you and me then that would have been just as great but its me and Joel we love each other”

I was convincing my self just as much as benji. Id always had a crush on benji since I was like fifteen id been waiting to hear these things for so long but then Joel came along and it sounds so terrible now but he was the closest thing to benji I could get but then it wasn’t me using Joel as benji anymore I realized that I loved Joel and that he loved me and my thoughts about benji went away or I thought they did until now but I love Joel like I said benji’s just a crush.

The door opened and Joel walked in
“See Billy told you I wouldn’t need the card thingy to get in---------wait what’s wrong?”

I looked up at Joel he was looking from me to benji

“Nothing we where talking about some new song im in the middle of writing are all”

“Oh right ok any good?”

“It’s coming along”

“Cool”

“Anyway im gonna go and finish it off” he walked out as fast as he could

Joel was looking at me I could tell even with out looking up

“Billy you ok?”

I looked up “yeah im fine”

He walked over to me and pulled me off the bed “don’t look it” he kissed me softly

I smiled “feel better now”

He smiled to “good”

2:30 again and again im laid wake with Joel in my arms fast asleep only this time I had a reason to be awake the thoughts of what benji had said earlier where haunting me if only hed said these things before me and Joel then it would be him laid in my arms, its not that I don’t love Joel I love him more than anything but id loved benji before I knew really knew what love was before id really found guys attractive id been in love with benji but benji had always been in to girls and then Joel came and I love him more than anything I would die for Joel just to keep him happy I would spend the rest of my life in sadness just so that he wouldn’t have to, but I cant help but wonder what it would be like if me and benji had gotten together instead would I have been just as happy? Would Joel have done the same thing as benji did today? I looked at Joel he was so beautiful just laid there so peaceful I kissed him softly. I do love him but thoughts of benji just kept coming back in to my mind. Was I a bad person for laying here with Joel but thinking about his brother? His twin? I don’t know what to think any more why did benji do that why did he have to tell me those things? He just screwed with my head ……..that’s it this is one of benji’s jokes he’s doing this to get a reaction and by tomorrow he’ll come in to the room laughing “ha Billy you fell for it you actually believed me” yeah that’s all it is a joke to screw with my head it must be benji’s straight. Suddenly feeling reassured I smiled and cuddled in to Joel’s arms and fell asleep.

its not the end there is more to come and irs comeing soon i promise

Yo dawgs!

Thu, 16 Jun 2005 19:30:54 GMT

Name: The Admiral
Age: 15
Top 5 bands of ALL TIME: (only 5!!!) 1. Good Charlotte, 2. Slipknot, 3. Misfits, 4. Mudvayne, 5. Rancid
Number one guy: (other than billy, thats a givin) Torn between Benji Madden and Paul Thomas
President of 2004: (if you say bush you are automatically out. Can be anyone, i.e. Billy Martin, Jeordie White, Your mom, etc) My sister. My dream is to go into one of the rooms of the White House (Preferably the Yellow Room) with a bunch of my friends, tie pillows on our butts, put on some roller blades, cooking pots on our heads and just ram into each other while people walk by. My sister can do all the work while we play. Haha. YES! XD
Write Fanfiction? if so what sort?: I've been writing fan fics for five years. I write anything I'm asked to or anything I want. Mostly angst, death, drama, suicide, hope, romance and I'm known to have a necrophilliac fiction. XD
anything else?: I collect Chiquita banana stickers...before that gay ass song came out. ...and I can fold the top part of my ear into the bottom part...haha.
Picture (if you have one): Haha.

I dunno if this is allowed, but...

We desperately need writers in __all_of_me...

Sun, 12 Jun 2005 13:10:02 GMT

E:lies
RATEING:pg 13 i guess
PAIRING:joel/billy
SUMMARY:joel and billy have been together for quite a while but nobody knows its all lies and secrates so whats the reaction when it accidently all comes out in the open?
DISCLAIMER: i hate these things right if i knew or owned them do you really think id be sat here writeing these storys ...no i wouldnt so sadly i dont know and dont own never have never will and this is all from my sick twisted imagination

“Benj I meant to tell you I was gonna tell you seriously I was we where just talking about it”

“WHAT BETWEEN STICKING YOUR TOUNG DOWN HIS THROAT!” he was outraged.

I was silent while Joel was doing all the talking.
I just couldn’t bring my self to say anything. I had wanted everyone to find out but not this way, never this way.
Now my best friend was losing it, with my boyfriend- his own brother.

“Benj calm down...” Joel was really calm not even his voice was shaking. How could he be so calm!? Benji looked like he could rip the room apart.

“CALM DOWN HOW THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSE TO CALM DOWN? I JUST FOUND OUT MY BROTHERS A FUCKING FAG AND IT’S MY BEST FRIEND THAT’S FUCKING HIM!”

“Benj seriously its no big deal, nothing changed” Joel replied calmly.

“What the fuck Joel!? Are you out of your head!? Of course it’s a huge fucking deal! Of course things have changed! You are sleeping with Billy for fucks sake!”
Benji rounded on me and I felt my stomach back flip.

“Benj I know it’s a big deal but……. I…..I love him” I said shakily.

Benji smiled then started to laugh
“God I knew you had a crush but that this is ridiculous. LOVE? What the fuck Billy?”

I felt tiny with Benji laughing at me as I told him how I felt about his brother.

“Benji it’s not funny he loves me and…..” Joel started.

“Don’t tell me you love him to” Benji spat.

“Well yeah I do I love him” Joel replied.

Benji’s face dropped the smile and laughter left immediately he glared at Joel then turned on me.

He grabbed my throat and lifted me off the bed slamming me against the wall “YOU FUCKING FAG! YOU DID THIS TO HIM!”

I was choking, gagging, gasping for breath. I couldn’t hear anything, the room had gone silent. Benji was saying something or was he shouting? Joel had grabbed Benji’s arm trying to release his grip, trying to make him let go.
Then Joel did something I never thought he would ever do.
He punched Benji in the face.
Benji immediately let go and staggered back. I fell to the floor holding my neck gasping for air. The room was going black.
I saw Benji and Joel fighting with each other then…. nothing.

My head was pounding. It hurt to breathe and swallow ……how long was I out for?
I was lying on a bed. I opened my eyes and everything was out of focus. I blinked a few times but I couldn’t remember anything about what had happened- Benji his reaction to me and Joel-I felt his hand around my neck.
I couldn’t breath again. I coughed and tried to get my breath back.
I’d blacked out when I hit the floor –Joel! What if Benji had done something to hurt him?
I sat up immediately and cried out,

“JOEL!”

He walked in to the room from the bathroom. The side of his face was swollen and starting to bruise. Benji had hit him.

He hurried over to the bed

“God I thought you’d be out forever” he kissed me softly “you ok?”

“Yeah err yeah im fine- what happened after?” I asked, panicked.

“You blacked out… Me and Benji shouted a bit, threw a few punches at each other and I threw him out”

I touched the side of his face gently “Are you ok?”

“Yeah im fine” He ran his fingers through my hair “You know sometimes I miss your long hair”

I smiled “You’re the one who told me to cut it off”

He smiled “I know I only said sometimes”

I kissed him and got up and walked in to the bathroom. I looked in to the mirror- my neck was all bruised. Black and purple marks showing up against my pale skin. There was a knock on the room door and I heard Paul’s voice.

I stared at the mirror lost in thoughts of Joel and me and Benji’s reaction to everything. I snapped out of my thoughts and splashed my face. I walked in to the room where Joel and Paul both sat on the couch.

“Hey Billy” Paul sounded as cheery as ever.

“Hey Paul” I walked over to the couch and sat on the arm next to Joel.
Paul smiled.

“Guess Benji’s told you then?” I asked.

“Yeah he told me and it hit me like a rock. I knew Billy- but I’d never of thought of you. I mean the way you are with girls just… whoa… how long?”

“Bout a yeah and a half”

“Jesus that long!”

“Yeah “

“Whoa!”

There was a knock on the door I got up and answered it. I looked up and froze when I saw Benji. He stood in front of me- looked like Joel had gotten a few good punches in.

“Hey Billy-”

“Oh erm hey benj-”

Joel had stood up and so had Paul.
I could tell they where both on guard in case he did something.

i know its shorter than the last but enjoy the next chapter is comeng i promise *runs away to write more*

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 22:50:19 GMT

Title: Well Adjusted
Author: me (billysgothgirl)
Rating: Pg:13 … maybe R in the future.
Pairing: Billy/Benji
Disclaimer: If I really could claim any ownership to Benji or Billy do you think I’d be sitting around on my computer all day… in other words nothing is REAL!!!
Dedicated to: gomaryu, insane_dustmite, katie_shinoda, punkys_bitch, cookiewitch, tophet_perish, the9thdoctor, screamodrummer,twinkle_lites, made_girl22 For their wonderful reviews!!!
Summary: We all get a little crazy sometimes…
Chapter 1

Chapter 2

I scuff my feet against the white tiled floor with a satisfying screech. Mom jumps, then turns around ready to scold me but thinks better of it at the last second. I knew that she wouldn’t raise her voice to me in a public place.
I scuff again, this time harder and am met with my stepfathers disapproving glare. This only fuels me on. Before long I can see that vein throbbing across his forehead.
Serves him right, he’s the one that talked Mom into this…
I’m so lost in my little game that I nearly collide with him when he reaches the registration window.

The lady at the window snaps her gum at least 20 times before looking up at my parents leaning against the window.

“Name?”
She snaps her gum again pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose. Her face is covered in pimples not so expertly caked with powder. She must have at least an inch of brown roots growing out of her fried blonde hair.

“William Martin”
The lady blows a bubble while she drags a talon like artificial nail down the list. She pauses before turning towards the intercom.

“Nurse to check in, nurse to check in please.”

She drops a file that looks about as thick as my last English book on to the counter with a clang. A loud buzzing noise sounds as someone that I assume is a nurse comes through the thick steal doors.

“Please fill out all of the paper work to the best of your ability. Janice will take Mr. Martin in and get him settled. No family is aloud inside of the facility so feel free to take a moment to say goodbye.”

My mom wraps me in a hug so tight that I’m surprised that I can still breath. She starts whimpering into my chest trying to not make a scene. I think I heard something about being sorry, and loving me but I wasn’t really listening.
Bob awkwardly pats me on the back once my mother loosens her death grip on

“Follow me please, Mr. Martin.”

I follow Janice through the double set of steel doors into the hospital without looking back.
Janice reminds me a little bit of grandmother Martin. She is half my height with curly salt and pepper hair down past her shoulders pulled back into a loose ponytail. She’s wearing loose blue scrubs with out a single piece of jewelry.
God her shoes don’t even have laces! How boring is that.

She leads me down a long winding white hallway with no windows until we reach another steel door. She pulls out a card and swipes it through the card reader that makes a loud buzzing noise before clicking open.
They’re crazy about security around here. This is going to be fun… I bet Bob would appreciate this place.
Bob runs a home security company outside of Baltimore. Being the senior vice president of the company he moved us to a fancy new house after he and mom got married last year. He tried to win me over by throwing his money around… I did appreciate the new guitar, but it didn’t really get him anywhere with me. Now Sarah was a different story…
She pulls out her card again and leads me into a small gray windowless room. Janice pulls a chair away from the wall and sits down at a small table in the corner and pulls out her glasses.

“Alright Mr. Martin, I’m going to get you your clothing, and go over the ground rules. With any luck I’ll have you ready to go by meal time. Do you have any questions?”

I shake my head slowly willing this to be over quickly. I start chewing on my lip as my anxiety grows.

“okay, I’ll need you to remove your clothing down to your boxers. And I’ll be right back with your scrubs, and slippers.”

My hands start to shake as I reach for the zipper on my black hoddie. I don’t want her to see the results of my latest attempts.
Which is really why I’m here in the first place. If mom hadn’t walked in on me in the bathroom I would have been just fine. Sure I was starting to feel dizzy, but I’m sure that it would’ve passed like it normal does.
I slowly pull my arm out of the sleeve wincing as the fresh bandage pulls at my skin. They wrapped it tight this time. I guess they caught on to how I like to pick at the stitches.
I fold my hoddie neatly on her desk before reaching for my belt buckle. My hands are aching again. Maybe I did more damage than I realized.
I finish undressing quickly and wrap my arms around my chest tightly shivering from the cold.

There is a quick knock at the door and Janice quickly enters the room carrying a pile of white clothing.
“Alright mr. Martin, I think these should be about your size go ahead and put them on while I put your belongings in a locke"

She gestures at a tall row of gray lockers before handing me my clothing.
The shirt is short sleeved and baggy enough for two people. It hangs down to just above my knees.
The pants are just as bad hanging loosely around my hips. All it would take is a slight pull and my pants would be around my ankles. The Jocks at school would just love that!
The ugly ensemble is rounded out by a pair of white shoes that are more like slippers with no laces or buckles of any kind. What’s next a padded room?

“As I’m sure you have already figured out we do not allow you to come into contact with anything that could provide harm to you in anyway. No laces, zippers, jewelry of any kind, safety pins, buckles etc. And I’m sorry to say Mr. Martin but I am going to have to cut off your hair. We can’t have you hiding anything in your dreads. Please sit down and I’ll get started.”

My hands shot up to my head immediately in horror. No! She can’t cut off my dreads it took me over a year to get them like this. My step dad hated them so much he threatened to shave my head in my sleep… She can’t take away my last bit of freedom.
I sit down in the chair with a thud suddenly feeling the need to cry watching my dreads fall to the floor one by one. I wonder how she’d feel if I cut off all of her hair?

“All done. Come on I’ll take you to your room.”
I reach up with shaky hands feeling my new hair. She left it a little bit long, in a few weeks I could hide behind my hair again. Or spike it… wait, gel is probably considered some kind of weapon in this place.

“Here we are Mr. Martin. Because of your history we decided that you should have your own room for a while. Once you can show us that you won’t be a danger to others we can place you with a roommate. Dinners at 6. I’ll leave you to get settled in.”

With that she shut the door with a loud band leaving me alone in my scary new world.
To be continued…

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read this far!!! I’m sorry it took me so long to update this… I’ve been so busy with school and everything! I’m not sure when my next update will be… There’s a chance that I will be going away this summer to a place that deals with my issues… Anyways let me know what you think!!! 

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 15:03:40 GMT

right ive been working on this story a while and this is my first enty for it and i know it sucks but id like you to read it anyway also if u think it need to be beta just tell me and you can do it but please tell me honestly what you think of the story becouse ie worked realy hard on this an im quite proud of it even though it sucks......

TITLE:lies
RATEING:pg 13 i guess
PAIRING:joel/billy
SUMMARY:joel and billy have been together for quite a while but nobody knows its all lies and secrates so whats the reaction when it accidently all comes out in the open?
DISCLAIMER: i hate these things right if i knew or owned them do you really think id be sat here writeing these storys ...no i wouldnt so sadly i dont know and dont own never have never will and this is all from my sick twisted imagination

right this is the first 6 pages of my word document i know its long but i couldnt find a good place to cut off befor hand so ....oh and if you want me to send you the word document for BETA just ask id be more than happy please tell me what you think i know spelling and grammer sucks but im dislexic so please bear with me anyway try and enjoy

Bpov

I looked at him from across the stage. I smiled there he was, he was mine. I looked at the crowd and smiled more all those girls there screaming him wanting him and that made me smile more because I could have him any time I wanted.
“YOU GUYS READY!?”
I snapped out of my day dream that was my cue to start playing. As I played I jumped around the stage I caught glimpses of him damn he looked good sweat dripping from him and his shirt clinging to his body. In all his glory there he was my Joel.

The show had finished and the stage had been trashed and the crowd had left the arena it was just us sat backstage well most of us Joel had been missing a while and was missing out on the usual after show talk.
“Well I think it went great,”

“Paul you think every show goes great
”
“That’s because every show does go great I think”

Here we go another Paul Chris “discussion” after every show the same talk “so predictable” I smiled as Joel’s voice came floating into my mind they really where that predictable
“The show would have been a lot better if Billy hadn’t been checking my brother out every five minuets”

that made me snap out of my thoughts I looked up at benji

“I was not”

“Billy don’t lie it doesn’t suit you,” he smiled

He was right I had been checking Joel out a lot but I wasn’t about to admit that,

“Im not lieing I wasn’t,”

“Billy I saw you!” his smile was getting bigger he knew he was right ….I hated it when benji knew he was right.

“Saw him doing what?” Joel had returned I looked up he’d gotten changed …damn

“We where just talking about the show and how-”

“Benj-”

“-It would have been a lot better-”

“-benji don’t

“-if Billy hadn’t been checking you out every five minuets”
Joel looked away for a flash second I don’t think any one saw it but me but he defiantly looked away

“EW! BILLY GOD!”
he sounded convincing enough it hurt every time he said something like that I hated the fact we had to pretend that we weren’t together Joel had said he wasn’t ready to tell everyone that’s we where together that he was he ..he wasn’t sure whether he was gay or bi he was still deciding I guess but right now he was mine and had been for the past year and a half and I couldn’t tell anyone id promised him that I would wait until he was ready to tell before I did so now im sat here pretending that we weren’t together acting like I didn’t love him.

“Anyway as much as im loving this very intellectual conversation we are having” they where talking about stupid things you hate doing but do anyway and cant help doing…

“Im out of my mind tired im going back to the hotel” he stood up and stretched every one else did the same thing with mumbles and grunts as answers and agreements. I looked at Joel as he stretched and smiled I could just see his stomach as his shirt lifted up I smiled and grabbed my stuff and followed the others as they carried on their conversation .

“Joel! You ride with me?” Joel looks at benji then at me.

“Nah man Billy offered me one earlier im gonna ride with him!”

Benji smiled “you know he’s only doing it to get in your pants!”
Joel smiled too
“maybe but its still a ride!”

“Hey benj your only jealous because its not you I want!” both benji and Joel laughed

“Keep dreaming bilbo! Keep dreaming!” he got into his car and so did me and Joel we saw the lights of the 3 cars drive past us I looked at Joel

“I have to give you a ride to get in to your pants now?” we both smiled and I got the keys out of my pocket and looked at Joel again he was still staring at me I smiled a nervous smile

“What?”

“You gonna go?”

I put the keys in to the ignition and leaned forward to turn the key then I was pushed back in to the seat and Joel straddled my hips and kissed me forcefully. Id been waiting for this all night I kissed him back passionately he opened his mouth slightly I took the opportunity and pushed my tong into his.
I loved the way jowl kissed me his amazingly soft lips against mine its drives me crazy every time. But suddenly they weren’t there any more I opened my eyes and looked up at him. He was unbuttoning my shirt I grabbed his hands and he looked up at me

“What?”

“EW…”

He looked confused “what?”

“You said me checking you out was gross so if im not allowed to neither being you...”
I couldn’t help but smile at the look on his face

“oh you know I didn’t mean it I had to say something to shut benji up, I was very flattered when benji said that” he leaned in and leaned his head put his forehead against mine “ and I’ve gotta admit I did steal a few looks as well and I’ve got to say you looked damn good all sweaty with your shirt sticking to you chest he smiled ran his hands down my chest and kissed me softly I looked at him and smiled id never smiled as much as I had since me and Joel got together he just made me happy.

“You ass kisser” he smiled and got back into the passenger seat and said “it’s why you love me babe”
“I know” I started the car and pulled out of the car park and drove toward the hotel we where staying at then I felt Joel’s hand on my leg

“Joel-”

“What?”

“What are you doing?”

“Are you complaining?”

“Not really”

“then shut up and drive” I smiled and carried on driving toward the hotel I pulled in to the parking lot and parked up the car I looked at Joel and kissed him not hard but with passion , a loving kiss. He smiled as we broke apart and we got out of the car I opened the trunk and got my guitar.
Joel walked up to me and kissed me one last time before we walked into the hotel before I had to pretend again.

As soon as we where in the elevator we started making out again until his phone went off. He immediately moved to the other side of the elevator and answered it like the person on the other end of the phone could see us stood close…

“Yo…oh hey ……erm no we’re in the elevator ……no we ...went for a drive …..EW! BENJ NO! ….I don’t care he’s a guy benji that’s just sick...yeah well no! Ill see you tomorrow right bye!” he put the phone down.

That had hurt I looked down at the floor I knew it was lies but he told them so convincingly they where real all of this was a lie did that mean what I felt for Joel was a lie to?

“Billy?” I didn’t look up but I knew he was looking at me he knew I was upset
“Billy you do know I didn’t mean any of that” I was still looking at the floor “you do know that right?”

“yeah….of course I do” I was trying to lie to my self now the truth is I didn’t know how I felt about anything any more the only thing I was sure about was Joel but he wasn’t sure about me that cant be a good thing.

The doors opened and I walked out of the elevator Joel hurriedly followed me,

“So then why do I get the feeling that you do believe it?”

“Because you’re being paranoid,” I open the door to our room, we’d managed to talk benji into believing that the record company had fucked up and only booked 4 rooms instead of five and Joel had said that he couldn’t stand benji’s non stop talking in his sleep so he said hed share with me.

“Billy-” Joel stopped me walking in to our room

“What?” he turned me round and looked straight in to my eyes

“Billy I love you and that’s all that’s the truth and you know it” he kissed me and everything went a way all my doubts just washed away

“I know” I managed to say between kisses. He pushed me in to the room and shut the door behind us.

The moonlight shone into the room just lighting it up enough to see through the darkness, lighting up Joel’s sleeping face I laid there looking at him he was perfect. His perfect body laid in my arms pressed up against mine. I stroked his arm he smiled a little and I couldn’t help but do the same. He mumbled something under his breath and I smiled even more at how cute he looked just laying there talking away to invisible people and then I thought is he dreaming about me? I looked over at the clock it shone 2:30am in bright neon numbers – 2:30 man I was tired but I just couldn’t sleep all the things Joel had said that night kept floating in to my head “I don’t care he’s a guy its wrong!” “EW benji no!” he kept telling me that he loved me and that the things he said to the guys where just lies and he never meant it – but I wasn’t to sure those lies were to convincing that I was starting to believe them my self. I looked at Joel again
“Tell me what you feel because I relay don’t know,” I whispered before falling asleep

I woke up the next morning at 9am and neither I nor Joel had moved both still curled together. I smiled and slowly got up so that I didn’t wake Joel up. I got half dressed undecided whether to wear a t-shirt or a shirt I decided to do my make up first.
I walked in to the bathroom and stared at my reflection in the mirror I was pale and thin – I didn’t understand how Joel found me attractive but for some reason he did.
I finished doing my eye liner and walked back in to the room. Joel was sat up in bed I looked at him and smiled

“Now that’s a sight you wanna see in the morning” he got up and put on the trousers he was wearing the night before which had been just thrown off. He walked over to me and pushed his chest in to mine and leaned in to kiss me. BANG the door flew open and Joel jumped a mile back.

“Hey benj!” his voice was I little high pitched from the shock and panic

Benji looked from Joel to me slightly puzzled “what were you guys doing it looked like you where gonna-“

“EW BENJI NO! Billy thought he had something in his eye I was just looking for him isn’t that right Billy?”

“Yeah” I looked down at the floor again there they where those lies and now I was telling them too.

“God you got any closer Billy would have probably tried it on with you dude?”

“Yeah right benj I wouldn’t do that to Joel you know I wouldn’t!”
benji laughed he had it in his head that I had this crush on Joel and that was it because I did the stupid thin of going up to benji and saying “hey dude how you feel if I told you that me and Joel where together?” and benji being benji miss took it and thought it was just wish full thinking and I had a crush on Joel so now I have to tell that lie day after day to.

“Benji that’s fucking wrong dude, if Billy kissed me I think id throw up id never kiss a guy never, its just sick dude!”

Every single one of them lies felt like a dagger in my stomach. I walked over to my case and grabbed the first t-shirt that came to hand and put it on.
Benji was talking to Joel about some girl hed met apparently she was perfect for Joel and it was about time Joel had a decent fuck. Joel looked over at me – I was pretending to tune my guitar I didn’t look up but I knew he was looking at me.

I hated these lies I had to tell and listen to and live it hurt that I couldn’t tell any one that I loved Joel madden and was proud – I got up and walked in to the bathroom closed the door and locked it and sunk to the floor and put my head in my hands I felt like crying I hadn’t felt like this since 12th grade.
I heard benji leave and Joel knocked on the bathroom door

“Billy?” he sounded worried and cautious “Billy are you ok?”

“Go away Joel”

“Billy babe what the matter?’

Right there I couldn’t take it any more I couldn’t believe he didn’t know what was wrong with me how could he ask such a stupid question? I stood up and opened the door I was so angry I couldn’t stop my self

“What’s wrong with me?! Huh you wanna know what’s wrong with me!?”

Joel stepped back from the door hed never seen me this angry “yeah I do”

“YOU! AND YOUR LIES - OUR LIES THAT I HAVE TO LIVE EVERY DAY!” I was so angry I couldn’t help shouting “FOR THE PAST YEAR AND A HALF IVE HAD TO LIVE THESE LIES FOR YOU JOEL AND IM SORRY BUT I CANT DO IT ANYMORE! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IT HURTS WHEN YOU STAND THERE AND TELL EVERYONE THAT THE THOUGHT OF KISSING ME MAKES YOU WANNA THROW UP?! IM SORRY JOEL BUT I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE I CANT TELL ANY MORE LIES I CANT LIVE THESE LIES ANY MORE! I LOVE YOU JOEL BUT RIGHT NOW LOVING YOU HURTS AND I CANT TAKE ANY MORE PAIN!”
there id said it all everything id spilled my guts out to Joel and he stood there looking at me as if I was an alien.

“Is that really how you feel?”

“Yes” I was looking at the floor my voice was suddenly so small.

He walked over to the case and grabbed a hoodie and put it on I looked up

“Where you going?”

“Out I need to think”
He opened the door and walked out he was gone out of my life maybe forever and he didn’t even look back. He didn’t even return later that night.

Well I got the reaction id been expecting well half of it id expected him to shout back and then walk out I stared at the spot where Joel had stood whilst id shouted at him and collapsed on to the closest bed ran my hands over my face and through my hair.
What have I done? Why did I have to explode like that? Why did I have to say them damn things to him? I looked at my hands there were black smudges running up and down them great and now I looked like Alice cooper gone wrong.
I sat up and walked in to the bathroom and looked in the mirror there was big black smudges running up and down my face I looked closer there was tears in my eyes. It hurt so much loosing Joel that I was crying I blinked the tears away and looked down id done this to my self to us to Joel….I washed my face and looked back in to the mirror. I walked back in to the hotel room and sat on the bed it was still unmade from the night before.

I dunno what time I feel asleep but I know I was awake most of the night waiting for Joel to come back but by time it got to 2:30 I couldn’t fight sleep anymore I tried to stay awake for as long as I could but eventually sleep won the battle and I fell into an uneasy sleep. I woke up at seven am I didn’t even open my eyes I didn’t want to get up things in my head where so much easier me and Joel were together and happy why are things always so much happier and easier in your head?

I opened my eyes to look round the room to see if there was ay signs of Joel then I realized I felt the warmth lying next to me I looked across the bed and there he was still fully clothed just lying next to me looking at me I stared at him couldn’t believe it he smiled

“Morning….” His voice was soft barely about a whisper

“What I thought when when did you??......”

“About 4 this morning I got back”

“listen Joel im sorry I didn’t mean to explode at you I didn’t mean what I said I understand why you don’t want to tell yet I get it really I do just please don’t be mad at me and please don’t leave me again I don’t think I could handle it again really I was going out of my mind last night when you left seriously I was,”

He just looked at me and smiled, I was totally confused id just spilled my guts out and he was smiling

“I know you understand Billy I do and I understand why you want to tell every one and that’s why I went last night I had to clear my head and I did because I was…… I was so unclear about every thing but I get it now im ready”

“WHAT!?” I couldn’t believe this was this Joel had he just said that or was I just hearing what I wanted to hear? “Do...do you mean that”

He smiled he was loving my reaction to this “yeah I mean it we’ve been together long enough I think im ready”

“Wait no…no don’t think, you have to know Joel you have to know you’re ready im not gonna let you do it unless you’re ready”

“Fine I know im ready”

“You think every ones gonna be ok with it?”

“Why shouldn’t they be we’re still the same people”

“Yeah I suppose”

Joel suddenly sat up straddled my hips and kissed me I kissed back passionately I pulled Joels shirt off. He grinned as he broke the kiss so I could get the shirt over his head, and leaned back dawn in to a more loving kiss.

“Joel…..WHAT THE FUCK!?”

Joel jumped and stood by the bed I sat up I saw Joel eyes go wide my heart was racing
“fuck” that’s all I could manage to say

“Benj I meant to tell you I was gonna tell you seriously I was we where just talking about it”

thechallenge NEEDS WRITERS!!

Mon, 30 May 2005 19:39:46 GMT

So the challenge has many many unanswered challenges right now. If you're a writer at thechallenge, please look at the challenges and see if one catches your attention. If you're not a writer, but like one of the challenges, apply to be a writer! we haven't denied anyone yet!

Below are the fandoms of the unanswered challenges, they can be found in the communities memories.

AFI
Alexisonfire&My Chemical Romance
Avenged Sevenfold/MEST
Billie Joe/Clay Aiken
Blink-182/Bright Eyes
Brand New/Simple Plan
Chevelle
Coldplay
Danny Smith/Daniel Johns
From First To Last/ Senses Fail
From First To Last/My Chemical Romance
GC/MEST
Good Charlotte
-Joel/Benji 5 challenges of Joel/Benji
-Benji/Paul
-Billy/any
-Billy/Benji
Good Charlotte and MEST(not paired together)
Good Charlotte/AFI
Lostprophets/Good Charlotte
MEST/Good Charlotte
Mest or Good Charlotte
My Chemical Romance
My Chemical Romance/The Used
Placebo/The Killers
Rancid/MEST
Simple Plan
-David/Pierre 3 challenges of David/Pierre
-David/Chuck
-Any SP pairing
Simple Plan/Brand New
Simple Plan/Much Music
Straylight Run/Bright Eyes
Velvet Revolver/any band
different challenges (more then one challenge featured in a post)
multiple (multiple pairings/characters)
sum 41

Delete if necessary!!

Tue, 12 Apr 2005 03:06:47 GMT

Chapter 14: Lonely Silent Tears

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 07:21:14 GMT

Title: Coming Out

Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters in this story. It is purely fiction. None of this ever happened, hell half these people didn’t even go to the same school.

Summary:Tony is a freshman at St. Johns High School, he doesn’t really fit in and his only true friend is his cousin Matt. Joel is a star athlete at St. Johns; he’s popular and gorgeous. What happens when the outcast and the jock become friends?

Rating: NC-17 for sexual content, strong language, and oh yeah it’s slash!

Dedication: To Brian because he told me to start posting again already.

All other chapters can be found here: coming_outx

Chapter 14: Lonely Silent Tears

Tony walked up to his cousins’ house with Jere and went inside and up to Matt’s room. Outside it was storming badly. Thunder, lightning, and of course a lot of rain.

“Hey cuz,” Tony said opening the door; soon realizing he was talking to an empty room. Jere follows suit and looked around frowning.

“Where is he?” Jere asked. Tony shrugged looking around for a note or something. He found nothing. Tony frowned and tried Matt’s cell. Nothing. Tony chewed his lip suddenly extremely worried.

“Maybe we should go look for him…” Jere said also worried. Just then they heard the front door slam and a woman crying insanely.

---
“Ma’am, ma’am please calm down,” the cop said. Benji sniffed and wiped quickly at his eyes. He sat on the couch curling up into himself. He kept wiping at his eyes. Hating the fact that he was crying, but knowing it was a perfectly good reason.

Jere and Tony quickly ran downstairs, seeing Benji curled up and Matt’s mom in tears.

“Auntie… what happened?” Tony asked walking over to her slowly. She looked at Tony and started bawling again, realizing how much Tony resembled Matt.

“Matt Lovato was pulled out of a ditch today… he suffered a head wound and was washed away with the current, he’s currently at the emergency room, he’s lucky to be alive,” the woman police officer told Tony and Jere. Tony fell back on the couch covering his mouth.

Jere stared at the police officer a minute before walking to the stairs and sitting down. He stared straight ahead not able to cry, barely able to think. Matt’s mom cried louder at hearing the story again, Matt’s father walked in just then soaked in water.

“The doctor… he said… Matt could suffer from brain damage,” Matt’s dad said walking up the stairs past Jere, going straight to his bedroom.

Matt’s mom ran up to the bedroom after him crying. Jere buried his face in his hand shaking his head over and over. Tony and Benji looked at each other a minute before hugging each other and crying curled up together on the couch.

“I’m really sorry about this,” The woman officer said and walked out of the house back to their cars. The lights from the car flickered on and the car drove off. Benji picked his phone up once he saw the car drive off and called Joel.

“Joel? Y-yeah, I… I’m at h-his house… please… thanks J-Joely,” Benji said. Tony knew already knew the phone call meant Joel was coming over. He sighed and got up wrapping his arms around himself, walking towards the stairs.

“Please don’t go…” Benji whispered looking up at Tony. Tony looked back a minute before nodding and sitting back down, curling up with Benji. He held Benji close to him, rubbing his arms softly, trying to make him feel better knowing he’s not feeling to great himself.

A few minutes later Joel walked through the door and walked into the living room seeing Tony and Benji curled up together. Benji asleep in Tonys arms. Joel walked over and cleared his throat making Tony look up.

“Oh… um hey,” Tony said awkwardly.

“Hey, um thanks for… taking care of him and everything,” Joel said motioning to Benji. Tony nodded laying Benji down carefully and sitting up.

“Yeah, no problem…” Tony said looking down at his hands.

“How are you doing?” Joel said, Tony just shrugged playing with his fingers. An awkward silence fell between the two of them.

After a minute Tony started silently crying, he leaned his head onto Joel’s shoulder. On instinct Joel moved his arm around Tony. They stayed like that until the sun rose and everyone woke up ready to go to the hospital

Chapter 13: Rain, Rain Go Away

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 06:16:17 GMT

Coming Out

Disclaimer: I don’t own any characters in this story. It is purely fiction. None of this ever happened, hell half these people didn’t even go to the same school.

Summary:Tony is a freshman at St. Johns High School, he doesn’t really fit in and his only true friend is his cousin Matt. Joel is a star athlete at St. Johns; he’s popular and gorgeous. What happens when the outcast and the jock become friends?

Rating: NC-17 for sexual content, strong language, and oh yeah it’s slash!

Dedication: To Brian because he told me to start posting again already.

All other chapters can be found here: coming_outx

Coming Out 13: Rain, Rain go away

The next day at school was hell for Joel.

“He’s not my boyfriend Tim,” Joel said for what seemed like the thousandth time.

“I already know Joel, no need to hide it,” Tim laughed.

Joel turned around and pushed Tim straight into a locker.

“No, Tim, we broke up, he’s not my boyfriend,” Joel said before smiling, pecking Tim on the lips, and leaving.

“Fucking sick freak!” Tim yelled wiping at his mouth and spitting. Joel just laughed and continued on to his next class.
---
“Benji, stop please?” Matt asked once again chasing after Benji.

“Nope, sorry Matty, I’m late for a date,” Benji said with a little smirk back at Matt. He walked out to the parking lot and jumped into a jeep. The driver sped off while Matt watched sadly. He turned and walked to the ditch, going under the bridge and just sitting there thinking everything over.

Why can’t I just fucking choose one already? Matt thought to himself. He threw his back hitting it hard on the ground. He winced and everything suddenly went dark.
---
Tony ran up to Jere during lunch looking around with furrowed eyebrows.

“Jere have you seen Matt?” He asked.

“I was just going to ask you the same question,” Jere said as they walked out of the cafeteria.

“Weird, he must have left school early,” Tony said as a little drop of water hit him on the nose.

“Shit, looks like it’s going to rain, perfect ending to a perfect week eh?”

Jere laughed a little at Tonys comment and nodded. They wandered under the bleachers and sat down both instantly lighting up a cigarette.

“Maybe next week will be better,” Jere said.

Tony just shrugged and silently prayed he was right, just as the rain started to pour down quickly.

(So damn short, just because it was just to get the story back in place, now who thinks they know what drama will occur just from reading this chapter? Hm, hope I get reviews!)

MINE.

Tue, 22 Mar 2005 02:26:49 GMT

Title: Mine: The Object Of Affection
Pairing: Surprise.
Summary: my shirt....mine.
Disclaimer: don't own anyone. Anyone at all.... not even myself. Eastyn owns that.

I found him lounging in the back of the bus, lazily watching television. I leaned my thin frame against the doorframe, observing his lackadaisical movements and eyes following the forms on the screen. I saw the way he clicked the remote buttons, the way his eyelids flickered lower when yet another channel was found spamming him with hair products he would never ever use. I examine the way he leans against the couch, his chest rising up and down lightly. And finally he notices my eyes on him. His gaze switches from the television to me, flashing a smile, his soft lips curving upwards. My sights land on the apparel he was sporting. Chucks, knee high socks, khaki shorts, pink plaid boxers, and my red graffiti Level 27 top. Mine. What was it doing on him?

Scratch that, I don’t want to know, but I’m getting it off of him one way or another. My azure pools undressed the man laying on the cushions before me, no invitation granted, yet one wasn’t needed. My legs brought me to the couch, looking down at his frame. A twist of the neck, a small furrow of the brow and he knew. A quick pounce was all this encounter would take, but he wanted so much more, I could see it. I slide my hands up his legs, running over the clothing protecting the covered skin from my touch. They traveled to the hem, gathering it between my fingers, daring him to try to escape. My fingers brushed the skin below the shirt briefly, enough to make him pale slightly, as I roll the hem in my fingers. One knee propped up on the seat of the couch, next to his body, my eyes locked on his.

He sets the remote down, hand trembling slightly, never taking his eyes off me. I narrow my eyes slightly, getting a shiver in response, and a body moving swiftly towards mine, his hands cupping my face gently and lips pressing to mine hastily. I kissed back, happy to let his tongue invade my mouth properly. I knelt more, bringing us closer, straddling his thighs widely, and my hands slipping beneath the shirt, over his skin on his hips. He understood what I wanted, but I also understood what he craved. After a while of whimpering, kissing, and gasps of breath between our lips connecting I shifted, sitting fully on his lap, grinding against him then pulling away and pushing him back slightly, my fingers bringing the material up and over his head. Game over. Victory achieved. I smirk and stand, brushing off my pants, leaving him quite shocked. I turn away, getting to the door before looking over my shoulder.

“Thanks for my shirt back, Chris.” I smirk more and leave, walking back and putting it back in my bunk. I must have left him with an astonished “why-would-Billy-do-that” look. I only wanted my object of affection… my shirt. Mine.

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 04:08:04 GMT

Title: Sensual
Author: iluv_slash / xslashtacularx
Pairing: Pierre/David, though I use no names, you decide who is who.
Summary: Just some yummy, smutty, NC-17 goodness.
Disclaimer: I do not know, own or associate with Simple Plan, or any of their members. I own the binder that was written in, the pen it was written with, and the mind it was thought up with.
Dedication: To Jesse, because I love him, and he was on my mind all day. To Mari, because I haven’t spoken to her in awhile, and I know she loves P/D. To Billy, because he and I had a good cry the other night, and he needs cheering up. And to my English teacher, Mrs. Polec, though she will never read this. This is to her, because she allows me to lay on the floor of her classroom with my binder whenever I feel like it, and today in class, I wrote this. So this is for her too.

You smile cheekily as you watch your boyfriend, his body moving fluidly with the music surrounding the two of you. Your hands find their way to his prominent hipbones, holding them as you move, pressing your body to his.

His head tilts backward onto your shoulder, his lips finding your neck. A small moan escaped your lips at his tender kiss and you tightened your arms around him. This was your silent warning to anyone who may be looking. He was yours, and you made it clear to all.

His hands reached back to your hips, sliding down your body and back up again, and he turns to face you, never missing a beat of the music. His arms slid around your neck, face inches from yours as he pushed his hips forward, grinding into you.

Both of you let out low moans at the contact as he repeated this action. You moved your hands down, over the curve of his bottom, and squeezed gently. He pressed his body to yours, your chests touching, both trying to get as close as possible. Your lips found his neck, kissing, nipping, sucking as you move together, hips rocking.

His full lips parted as his eyes closed, and a deep moan filled your ears. His hand slid back up into your hair, tugging your head back to look at him. His eyes met yours, full of lust. He spoke only three words.

“I want you.”

You nodded, reaching down and taking his hand, leading him from the crowded dance floor. You wanted him just as badly, and were eager to get him away from this place.

He removed his hand from yours, and slipped behind you, assaulting the back of your neck with kisses and bites as you pushed the door and stepped out into the night air.

He giggled as you reached for him. He smiled and side-stepped around to his side of the car. The two of you slipped in, and you started the vehicle as he moved over, arm sliding around your body as he placed kisses down your jaw line.

You pulled out onto the street, trying to focus on the road, but finding it difficult, because of his nips and bites against your sensitive flesh. His hand slid down your side, rubbing over your hip and resting on your groin.

You let out a little moan as he rubbed your erection through your pants. He knew he was teasing, driving you wild.

You turned down your street, and saw your driveway ahead of you. You were both getting desperate, yet you knew how much he, too, loved this teasing apprehension. His hand undid the button of your jeans, and you brushed him away as you hit the overhead button and pulled into the garage, letting the door come down behind the car.

As the darkness of the garage consumed you both, you turned, pulling him to you for a hot, needy kiss. You kissed him hard, tongues battling for dominance as his hands slid over your body. You pulled back, reaching to pull his shirt off, exposing his beautiful, smooth skin. Your lips moved down his jaw, grazing your teeth along the way as he moaned when your thumbs brushed over his nipples.

You sucked his neck gently, one hand reaching back to open your door. His hands slid under your shirt, pushing it up as you moved to get out. He crawled after you, and you picked him up, stumbling to the front of the car as you kissed him. You set his body down on the hood of the car, and he lay back. You leaned over him, hands resting on either side of his head, the hood of the car still warm from the engine.

He pushed you up, urging you silently to remove your clothing. You nodded, standing straight, and tugging your shirt over your head. Your hands lowered, sliding your pants down, as he’d already undone them. You pushed the denim down, boxers as well, and he moaned.

His eyes danced lustfully over your body, wanting you more than ever. He pushed his hips up, sliding his own remaining clothing off, kicking his pants and boxers to the garage floor.

A moan escaped your lips at the sight of him. You slid your hands down over his chest, to his hips, and squeezes. His eyes found yours, and he licked his lips.

“Oh please! I need to feel you inside!”

You whimpered, hands running down his thighs to the back of his knees. You lifted his legs, setting his ankles on your shoulders. His eyes slipped shut, and he trembled in anticipation.

You reached down, taking your erection in your hand, and rubbed your tip against his entrance, spreading your precum around him. His head tilted back, a loud moan filling the garage.

You watched his face as you pushed into his body. You moaned softly as his tight body engulfed your erection. His eyes tightened at the initial pain, but soon he relaxed, as he grew used to you rocking within him. He needed you, wanting nothing more for you to move.

You held his hips, pulling back slowly, his ankles on your shoulders. Soft moans fell from his lips, his eyes opening to meet yours. You moaned his name, building up a steady pace into his body as he arched his spine.

His hand slid down his body, wrapping around his hard cock, pumping himself as you thrust into his body. He cried out, cursing loudly as you thrust into his prostate. His spine stay curved up off of the cooling hood of your car as the pleasure coursed through him.

You cried out, pulling his hips back to meet yours. Your jaw fell slack, head hanging down as you pushed into him.

Both of you cried out, feeling extreme pleasure as your climax approached.

His hand moved faster along his length, thumbing his tip and then moving again along himself. You moaned at the sight before you, he was so beautiful, spine arched and lips parted.

You cried out, feeling your stomach tense up. You pushed into him hard, grinding into his prostate.

He let out a loud cry, calling your name as he released over his hand, hips bucking up into you. You pushed into him a few more times, gasping and moaning loudly as you came into him.

You trembled, gently rocking your hips as you rode out your orgasm. He whimpered, looking up at you as his ankles slid from your shoulders. You gently slipped out of him, and leaned over, resting on his chest with a smile.

His fingers ran through your hair, and he kissed your temple. You smiled up at him and rubbed his hip, leaning up for a kiss.

“Je t’aime.” He whispered.

“Je t’aime aussi.” You answered, kissing his shoulder.

You stood again, pulling him up into your arms for a tender embrace as he nuzzled your neck, repeating himself again.

“Je t’aime.”

~~~~

Note: Thank you for reading! Any comments?

Pimpism #157: Hard and fast and IN YOUR FACE ^_^ hehe

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 17:12:18 GMT

Click here and join.
Lots of characters available (*sniff* we just lost our Joel, for instance).