One Liners

in reference to hairspray...

2006-10-18T02:03:23Z

i'll maximum hold you!

from "this is our youth"

2006-06-11T03:08:36Z

chivalry isn't dead-it just smells funny.

True friendship is

2006-06-05T01:58:40Z

After using the bathroom just after my friend:

This is why we're best friends, man; your shit don't stink.

_one_liners_ @ 2006-05-20T01:50:00

2006-05-20T08:50:19Z

"My parents will probably disown me, but the cool thing is there's a chance of that happening anyway."

_one_liners_ @ 2006-04-28T00:36:00

2006-04-28T07:39:08Z

"I hate clowns, if Hitler was in an election against a clown I would vote for Hitler."

Posted in this hilairious friend-o-mine's blog.

_one_liners_ @ 2006-03-24T07:42:00

2006-03-24T15:41:58Z

what i meant was that i hate you.. wait..

_one_liners_ @ 2006-03-24T05:36:00

2006-03-24T13:37:48Z

"I wish my mom was a pickle; then I'd eat her."

-one of my friend's students said this apparently

_one_liners_ @ 2006-03-24T02:14:00

2006-03-24T10:16:19Z

ghotighued's slip up:

"When life gives you apples, drink lemon juice."

_one_liners_ @ 2006-03-23T06:35:00

2006-03-23T14:35:45Z

i need safety glasses for life!

on first robotics, and uninformed team members, by mr. millar

2006-02-28T02:05:25Z

hu-hu. a battery!

_one_liners_ @ 2006-02-13T19:21:00

2006-02-14T03:22:13Z

why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

_one_liners_ @ 2006-02-10T12:29:00

2006-02-10T20:31:58Z

"They will fight pointless wars over the meaning of my words, and I'll laugh."

Just about every past, present, and future
influential religious figure, including me.

Clowns

2006-02-03T06:26:16Z

"You know what's across from the Architecture office in those boxes? CLOWN SHOES! Big red floppy clown shoes!"

- d_litekittycat

_one_liners_ @ 2006-01-27T23:30:00

2006-01-28T07:34:16Z

"Noone will ever order a dish called Armpit and Ass Stew, no matter how delicious it might be."

_one_liners_ @ 2006-01-22T15:08:00

2006-01-22T23:09:01Z

If I had wanted perfection, I would have hired a robot, or a Swede!

BBM, anyone?

2006-01-18T09:52:04Z

"Why did Brokeback Mountain get an 'R' rating?! It's about cowboys and sheep!"

my brother

2006-01-17T02:39:35Z

wait, if girls like girls, that would make them...GAY!

_one_liners_ @ 2006-01-12T16:37:00

2006-01-13T00:37:36Z

I can't, my G string is broken.

ritzcrackerman

2006-01-08T04:27:11Z

I didn't kiss the lesbians!

_one_liners_ @ 2006-01-01T18:02:00

2006-01-02T02:00:09Z

i don't know if i can be with a man who hates pirates!

_one_liners_ @ 2006-01-01T14:58:00

2006-01-01T22:58:33Z

I wish my lawn was emo, so it would cut itself.

- natsukaze

Kids!

2005-12-26T03:30:36Z

My nephews were ragging on my niece about how she's only nice in public:

Brynne: No! Grandma's a retired judge, Baruch.
Baruch: Duh! That's why you're only nice in front of her!

While Discussing LJ

2005-12-24T18:32:40Z

It's Christmas Eve. People are hiding from their feelings. You think you're the only one?

-elamine

_one_liners_ @ 2005-12-21T23:00:00

2005-12-22T07:00:23Z

"Oh yeah, I forgot: You don't bathe."

_one_liners_ @ 2005-12-19T16:04:00

2005-12-20T00:05:01Z

I sense a great disturbance in the horse...