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One thing, is all I asked for.
Just one.
Freedom for a few hours to find myself. But no, on with the drama. You say you're getting paranoid again, haven't you given me enough cause for paranoia over the years...???
Yet you wouldn't even consider seeking outside help to try to save this marriage.
Keep. Breathing. Woman.

Andy has his first try at making sunday dinner yesterday, getting in some practice before we have Christmas dinner at our house. he did him and mum pork and Graham and I had veggie burgers with all the veg. it turned out really well and it was really great to see Graham again even if he does have to go back to Afghanistan soon :( he showed us a load of pictures that he'd taken and a few videos of them out on patrol. it was kind of weird seeing him being all soldier-y.
back at work today for only 4 days and then I'm off for 2 weeks!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got loads of uni stuff to do though so it'll not be all relaxation.

today is a year since Andy and I got non-married at East Lodge :) I think we're a bit like the queen though as we celebrate our official anniversary on Aug 21st which is when we actually started dating :D

had a pretty quiet weekend, on Saturday, me, Mum and Andy went shopping and I got a few new Winter tops and a couple of Christmas pressies (yes, I really am that sad) and Andy got a nice new shirt.
In the evening we watched a film and went through our wardrobes chucking stuff that doesn't fit anymore (mine were mostly shirts that don't fit as they gape horribly over the bossom area) which brings me to whinge briefly, WHEN will shops start putting extra fabric in the front of the shirts for women that have big tits???? grrr.
Sunday I had to go feed my Dad's fish (one of whom, keeps pretending he's dead just to bug me) and when I got home I developed a migraine so took some pain killers, closed curtains and lay on bed, cats of course took the opportunity to sit on me which was interesting when I was a bit queesy.
when head had stopped, did uni work then played on Wii for a bit and in the evening, we did housework type stuff.

So....

Much things, yet not much things...I guess I should start with Harry has thats been on my mind a bit. Well, basically, something very cool and very funny happened on Wednesday, while Harry was drugged up due to his back pain. Susan gave him painkillers that knocked him clean out, and slept through the whole thing, which he is astounded by, but fortunately, his dad relayed the whole thing to him, and therefore, Harry relayed to me.

Well it actually starts just before the amusing incident when Matt decided to be very nasty to Rachel. It turns out that he yells at her and takes out his bitchings on her all the bloody time. He had decided, stupidly, that he was going to give his next pay cheque to his scrounger brother and his slutty wife. This did not endear him any to Susan and Harry snr, as Matt has been living with them for about a year and half, scott free, and he never contributes in anyway to the household, only upsets everyone and leeches off everyone. Susan replied to this by saying that she thought it was very unfair and stupid of Matt to give all his money to his equally stupid brother, as the people who he SHOULD be giving the money to is Rachel's parents, and Susan also said that he's being unfair and they may have to kick him out if it continues (fair enough, yes?).

So Matt decided to, once again, take this out all on Rachel. He started bitching and saying nasty things about her parents, and then he crossed a line that even Rachel didn't put up with- he said that the only reason why Harry snr keeps the medicine box locked is because Susan is a filthy junkie who would take the whole lot (Very untrue!!!! In fact its locked so that Rachel won't try to overdose and I'm rounding back to that later...)

Rachel decided she would tell her mom this. And this is where the fun begins. I love Susan to bits, she's a great person, and I'm glad she's going to be my mum-in-law, and she's also very sweet and laid back. But she was majorly PISSED!!! She was so angry, she ran up the stairs, taking them two at a time, stormed into Matt's room and began to verbally tear him several new ones.

Harry Snr just sorta listened in shock, because for all their misgivings of Matt, Susan has never been nasty to him. But I'm guessing this is has been waiting to happen for months and months, because she just poured it out, screaming the house down at him and telling him exactly what she thought him- that he's a fucking lazy leech, that he's useless, he never does any fucking work around the house and that they are constantly putting him up for free, that they're paying for his and Rachel's extremely expensive medical bills because he's too fucking lazy to get insurance, that he has no fucking right to say such disgusting things about them when in THEIR house and that if he keeps it up, he's going to be out on his ear. She really laid into him and she did not relent. (All the while, her beary son is in the basement, snoozing through it all in drug-induced sleep, bless him XD).

Eventually, she calmed down, and finished with "And if you don't like it, you can goddamn get out of my fucking house!" or something along those lines. She was absolutely fuming, and I have to say YOU GO GIRL! XD I mean, when Harry first told me about what Matt said about her, I got angry! I said "If I EVER heard his slagging your mom off, I'd be the first in there with a right hook, and some good old english swear words". He said then that Susan actually asked his dad not to tell Harry about what happened because she was afraid that Harry would attack Matt and beat him up. However, upon hearing about all the things she said to him...and the fact he went and cried like a little bitch in the garden afterwards, Bear laughed and said "I don't think I need to!"

The only sad thing I see about this is that they still haven't kicked him out. Harry says they're trying avoid kicking him out because they know Rachel will go with him...he'll go back to his parents' house, and she'd go too, and that house is infested with roaches and rats. They of course, don't want her to go to a shit-hole like that. Personally, I think what they should say is "Rachel, you are more than welcome to stay, but Matt is not. You can go with him if you like, although we'd prefer it if you didn't, and if you found staying at his place unbearable, there will always be a place for you here, but I'm sorry, we cannot have him here any longer."

Man, I knew he was a fucking wanker, but I didn't know he was bullying Rachel and slagging her folks off. And here's where I round back to the medicine box, because Harry has told me more, and I have now slightly changed my opinion of Rachel. Poor Rachel is trying to remain neutral and not take sides, because on one side she has her family, but on the other, Matt IS her husband. But I think he is possibly being abusive to her, and Harry told me yesterday that Rachel didn't start cutting herself till Matt was on the scene, so he thinks its down to him.

I thought for a second and said "No...I'm certain you told me she started doing this after that emo ex boyfriend of hers dumped her for a boy." Harry has a terrible memory for time frames, but I really do remember her behaviour being its brattiest before Matt was really on the scene, and certainly before they were married. However, he says that her college and school work has dropped since Matt was around, so he definately HAS had a bad affect on her.

And despite the lapses she's had in self-harm, her behaviour in the last few months has definately improved, Harry insists. So this is where it starts to add up...

I really do believe that Rachel started it when she was younger, just fresh out of school, that she wasn't doing it out of real need, and more for attention- remembering how she suddenly got all the things she wanted when she did it. And I really don't think Matt was around at that point. I remember her being single. So I think it did start off that way.

However, it seems now, she's actually doing it out of her perceived need to do so. That makes sense to me from what I know about depression and self-harm, and also from my own experiences (as when I started at about 15, I was just doing it for no real reason, but I got hooked on it). Self harm is incredibly addictive, and she's suddenly found that its actually helping ease her pain because Matt is bullying her. He takes out his problems on her, but like all bullies, he can only shout at girls and hit little boys, the minute the adults get involved, he cries like baby. It really does make sense that she would have gotten draw into doing it more, and while she's making a real effort to keep the peace at home, it doesn't mean that Matt has, and she's still upset about the things he does.

I said to Harry that I would make an extra effort to be nice to her next time I see her, as long as her behaviour remains good. In fact, he suggested maybe I go out with his mom and Racehl for a girl's day out or something, which I would I be up for (although maybe not with Rachel's friends, who just gawk at me for being strange and act like stupid valley girls).

Harry said to Rachel that if Matt makes her happy, he would try his best to accept him, but to be honest, he's not making her happy...I think she should cut her losses and divorce him to be honest. He is not a proper husband in anyway, he can barely look after himself, so how can he look after his wife. Harry and his dad have always prided themselves in being protective and wanted to provide for their loved ones, so I guess its natural it would fiercely offend them when Matt enters their home and does the opposite. Harry may have no money, but when he does have money, he first sorts out all the important stuff before seeing if he has "fuck around" money as he likes to call it, whereas Matt just uses all his money that way.

Anyhoo, moving on...

Work has been boring and long, and yesterday I started to come down with a cold, but I think I may have just dodged a nasty one. I was headachey and unwell yesterday, and kept sneezing, so dad gave me a lift home, what with the weather being truly autumnal finally lol. I'm still currently smarting after all the shit thats gone on with Kyle and Darrel, but I'm trying to not think about it too much. I'm hoping to go shopping in the week just for fun- why the hell not after all? I know I shopped a fair bit in August, but my money was mostly spent at the cinema, I can afford it if I'm careful, and dammit, why not? I'm working hard and I'm putting up with so much crap ...

On Friday, was the day I was to go for dinner at Abbi's. During the day, she came in to say hi and buy a cardigan, and all of a sudden, a bit of a spat broke out between Tilly and Abbi. there were raised voices, and saying "I wouldn't ignore you even if I hated you!"/"Well you don't have to be like that!" I was so confused, and although I wanted to stay neutral, I asked Tilly afterwards what had happened. She claims that Abbi has been giving her filthy looks, and that she didn't say hello to her or anything, and the fact Abbi got defensive was "proof" she has a problem with Tilly (this is just strange because they've always seemed to get on before). She then was just bashing her and saying "She thinks shes all that and shes not, shes not better than me, and how dare she make me look stupid in my place of work." I tried to be neutral, but I was even then leaning over to Abbi more- Tilly has been acting like she owns the place since she got the ok to start assistant manager training (but never seems to get anything right) and if anyone is giving herself airs, I would say it was Tilly more than Abbi. It is true that Abbi can be a volatile character- she is a bit chavvy after all- but she doesn't turn on people for no reason. I figured some wires got crossed somewhere...

(And admittedly, Tilly was not in my good books for claiming I didn't do any work in my first hour that day as well, so I was maaadd...<.< )

Anyway, went over to Abbi's after work, with a bottle of plonk and I came into the flat and things had rearranged. Because its a small place, and they needed an extra bed for Taylor, Paul's other son, they moved the living room into the much smaller bedroom, and put the two beds and the cot into the living room. It meant, the living room was very cosy- not too cramped, but it had a nice comfy feel to it. Eve was already there, and Abbi was trying to get lil Jacob ready for bed, but he was being cheeky and wiggly. I have to say, I may not be a baby person, but lil Jake is a real character, and very cute. I sat down on the sofa, and he spotted my stripy socks and crawled right over to grab my feet and chew on my toes XD He was also being naughty when it was time for his feed- he kept grabbing Abbi's boob and rubbing his head on it and making fussy noises when the nipple didn't come out straight away XD Like a real man I suppose! haha! (She fed him under a blanket, btw, so no awkwardness, although he did try to pull the blanket away at one point!).

We had a very nice chat, although Jake was naughty and wouldn't go to sleep, so he was allowed to roll around the living room in his sleep bag for a while. He came and got my hand so I was tickling his tummy! It was all very cute!

We had a nice dinner in the little kitchen- Abbi and Paul's flat is small, but its lovely and homely, and I would be happy to have a place like that. During this point, I asked Abbi what exactly had happened earlier with Tilly, and she told me that she hadn't seen Tilly so she hadn't said hi straight away, and then Tilly became convinced that she gave her a dirty look when she hadn't. She said that a few times Tilly has said hi to her when she's been tired, and she's been a bit funny with her over some stuff for a while, but then she reminded me that Tilly used to (and may well still do) a LOT of drugs. I remembered that being mentioned before, and it makes sense, people often become very paranoid, even after they've stopped taking drugs (and I wouldn't be surprised if she and Gary still take them). It seems likely that Tilly has simply become paranoid...she's been paranoid before.

And then Abbi said "You know she's a thief right?"

I was like "Huh?" *mouthful of pizza*

"Yeah, she used to steal things, I wouldn't be surprised if she still does!" She went on to tell me that once Tilly pushed Abbi's pram around for her while Abbi pushed a trolley in Tesco, and Tilly put some hair dye on the pram and didn't pay for it. She also had been talking to Claire on Friday (who used to be manager is coming back) and when Kim mentioned about a nicking, Claire said something like "Well everybody else is at it" and Abbi didn't know if that meant the staff or what. Abbi thinks that there may well be someone else stealing at the shop, and she was trying to think who it would be. Me, Mags and Gail were all ruled out quite quickly, and I doubt Laura, Sammy or Becky would, but Abbi seemed suspicious of Kelly and Tilly. I really couldn't say to be honest, and if one of them is stealing anything then they've been clever about it, so I won't get involved. If I saw something, I would say something, but when Abbi is upset about something, she can be a bit vicious, so I'd rather not get involved in all that.

Anyway, we had a nice time, a nice dinner and drink, and we had a good catch up. WE started talking about supernatural stuff, and talking about experiences we've had or heard about involving ghosts and the like. We've since established that I have been attacked by a pyschic vampire and saved by my grandfather's spirit, Eve has out of body experiences when she's sleeping, and when she wakes up, she slams back to the bed, Abbi's little brother remembers a time when he was "Big like < Abbi > and then I hit my head and went to heaven, and then I came to mummy's tummy", and Abbi was terrorised by a faerie as a small child. Of course, I always take these stories with a pinch of salt, as you must take everything at face value, but I do think they were telling the truth (as was I), and if nothing else, its all good fun to tell stories like that. Oh, and yes, we do believe in the faerie folk, here at Bunny's freaky LJ- Abbi's faerie was in fact a little round black goblin with little arms and legs that bounced on her bed. People used to be more afraid of faeries than of ghosts, and the stories surrounding them are fascinating.

You know, I think I may look up more about the real faeries. When people think of fairies, they think of barbie-princess things, but the real thing (if you believe) are very different to the stories that have been glossed over, over the years. I've never been sure whether I believed in them or not, but I think there's a very good chance, as likely as ghosts...and just to be sure, I never say "I don't believe in -"

This weekend has been short and lazy. I haven't dressed today XD Danny came over earlier and was kicked in the nuts by Carol XD I really hurt my hand yesterday by getting tangled in my own limbs when trying to wake up, and pressing my right elbow on the top of my left hand and then pushing down to help myself sit up- very painful, and now I have an invisible but very achey bruise across the top of my hand XD I bought the last of my 40% stuff yesterday (it ended up being a lot less than intended altogether) and I also did a big Asda shop- that should keep me going for a few weeks :)

Anyhoo, things to do, believe it not. That ironing is calling me, so, for now, my freaky darlins, take care ;)

Faerie Bunny
x

Remember the goth pirates?

Pirates of St Piran

I so wish they were actually based here : D