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Sunday, July 3rd, 2005
11:34 am

rar. whasup ya'll?
i hope everything's good on yer side.
they're alright here.
going to work. very soon.
happy 4th, early.
i'm going to be baking like crazy. so i suggest you come over and eat my sweets.
you are all invited.
so come. because i love.
and love because i come?
oh that's dirty.
well, have a good day.
i love and miss my ladies.
we should ALL hang out soon.

(1 jealous boy | poke a boob)

Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
2:48 pm - This is to ALL of you.

Can't we forget about all the LJ bullshit, and just start over..?
I mean, there are so many reasons and miscommunications that go unexplained here..

Stella, we've said before that friendship is a "two-way street". Yes, it is, and you know that. And we know that we don't try anymore either... but the key word is "anymore". I'm not getting angry here, I just want to point out that we did try for a while.. but the calls and the emails and whatever else weren't reciprocated. Maybe we were bad friend for giving up, I don't know. But we did.

I support your decision to delete your journal if that's what you want to do. But don't do it because we don't comment. That may or may not be your reason.. but I just wanted to say that. We do read it, and we do take in whatever happens to be directed toward us or tells us about what's going on in your life. We just hardly comment because your life seems never to involve us anymore.. Which is okay. That's just the truth.

I just really want to start over.
Forget about LJ spats, forget about who called who last... Just start over. I want things to stop being so fucking heavy, you know? We should be having fun at this point in our lives, not reliving high school drama. No offense implied.
I want to feel no guilt or pressure or anxiety or anything when I'm bored and just want to call one of you or stop by and see what's up.

I know I'm being selfish, but that's what I am right now. That's my blunt honesty.
I want to you know if you guys are willing to let it all go and start over. No more excuses and no more girly fucking talking behind each other's backs. It's getting old and I'm getting desperate to know who is there for me and who isn't anymore. I want to actually relax when it comes to my friends.

Carol, I know you're on a break right now, so I don't know if you'll even read this for a while. And that's totally fine, I understand your needs right now. I'll let you come to me whenever you're ready. I'll always be here.

But Katy, Stel... I just need to know how it's going to be.
Are we all together, or are we not?
I'll understand, either way.

Gah!! Sorry that I'm talking in circles, but I'm getting so frustrated with the way I'm learning a lot of female friendships seem to go. Over analyzing every word and action, talking behind each other's backs, walking on eggshells before we speak because we're afraid of the reaction we might evoke... I'm sick to death of it.

You should all know that I'm trying to change pieces of myself. I'm learning to be bluntly honest, and I'm trying to have as much fun as I can. I hope none of you take any offense if I have iffy plans with you, but I end up doing something else because it was for sure. Or if I come over but it's only for a little bit because I'm doing something else later. Who knows if any of that will actually happen, but I want you to be previously warned.

I'm babbling now. I'm sorry. I'm going to stop now and await your replies.. Please, just tell me something honest.

(3 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Sunday, May 29th, 2005
8:52 pm - your face it haunts my once pleasant dreams

i don't want you guys to take this the wrong way, but i'm leaving the community. i'm not leaving what is left of our friendship in anyway. it's just that none of these posts have included me as of lately and when i read that, it really does hurt. i'm not going to say that i don't understand why, because i really do. i understand it completely. but it still hurts, a lot. so i'm going to do what i think is best and leave it. i'm sorry.

(3 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
1:06 am - You both need to know...

Dear Jeni, and Katy.

I just have to let you guys know that I need some time to myself. I have alot of figuring out to do. I have had alot of hours at work, and figuring out car shit and what not. Im not saying i don't have time for you, because god knows I have plenty. I am going through some things and I need to be on my own for awhile, independent. Figure out my place in this place. Im sure we all go through this once in awhile. But it will be awhile before I can hangout, and be with you both again. I want you to both know that I will be back, if your willing to just hold on. I appreciate you both always caring, and calling. It makes me feel good to know your there. Just give me some time. Let me make some changes. I have alot of healing to do. I need to, I don't want to end up hurting someone over problems that have nothing to do with them.

Im sorry I didn't call you in person, that's just the way I am, I know I should of because who knows if one of you will read this or not. Im sorry.

If either of you though, are ever in any kind of emergency, and despretaly need me, please let me know. Im still open, just not as much as before. I am always here to help you if need be.

Katy, I hope everything turns out ok with your bunnies, and your dads leg, and your moms sickness. And your classes, and... you.

Jeni, Im sorry about those stupid annonymos posts, thats really shitty. If I knew who it was, I would knock there front teeth out for you. I hope you figure out what it is you want, and are looking for. And I hope everything goes ok with Greg, and your mom, and your sisters.

You guys are strong, Im sorry I didn't let you guys know earlier. It's been hard. Im sorry for the way ive been. Well now you know, and that's good at least.

HOLD ON TO EACHOTHER, BUT LEAVE AN OPENING FOR ME, because if you will let me, I will be back...



(4 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Tuesday, April 19th, 2005
1:54 pm

hey ya'll.
what's up? not a whole lot here. doing homework, being bored.
i have a presentation, maybe today, maybe thursday.
let's hope i don't have to go today.
PLEASE don't let me go today.

i can't believe school is almost over.
sorry jen and carol, you still have a while.
but you're not in too many classes, so hopefully they'll go fast.

i can't wait til the summer.
it's going to be fun stuff.

i hope work is okay for all ya'll.
and i hope home isn't too horrible of a place as well.
as i've said before, you can always give me a call, email me, whatever.
i'll listen.
and i'm always here.
well until next week wednesday.
and then i'll be home!

but you know what i meant.

one week and then i move out!
how weird is that?!
i hope debbie stays at oakland, because we're rooming together again if so.
i'm excited about that.

if ya'll aren't busy next wednesday, and want something to do, i'll be packing up and movin' out.
so give me a holler, and i'll put you to work. lol.

well, i really should finish this presentation and paper. i have class in an hour.
so i'll talk to you gals later.

i loves yous.

(poke a boob)

Thursday, March 31st, 2005
11:17 pm - ooooooooooooo


So girlies,
Ive been sick. :( But I am getting better. I hope to see you at Katy's show, hopefully. lol. I went to class finally, and Jen wasn't there. Lmao I thought it was hilarious. haha. Ok all bye bye for now. Thanks for updating Katy. And for the cool new look!!!

(1 jealous boy | poke a boob)

Monday, March 28th, 2005
10:28 am

go here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/wowboys/
not home safe at all!
it's really hot though.

carol, you would LOVE it.

(2 jealous boys | poke a boob)

10:11 am

hey girls.
i hope you all had a great easter.
i love and miss all of you.

technically, this weekend is our weekend.
i just wanted to let ya'll know what's going on.
friday and saturday this week,
i have two choir concerts.
they're both at 8 pm.
so if ya'll wanted to plan around that, cool.
i'm up fer it.

i will have to do homework sometime in there.
if i have to do it friday and sunday, and leave saturday to sunday morning open,
cool. that's fine.

the only thing i can really suggest for this weekend,
would be going out and enjoying the weather.
cuz i don't know about ya'll, but i am going to milk it, yo.
but please, email me, call me, comment, etc.
let me know whaz up!


(1 jealous boy | poke a boob)

Friday, March 18th, 2005
11:14 am

hey girls.
i just wanted to let you know that i am staying up here this weekend.
and i wanted you to know that this weekend is packed, but i would still like to do something.
it just might not be just the four of us, because i had some things planned before hand.
SO. here's my weekend, just to let you know.
tomorrow, i am completely unavailable. i will be doing something that whole day.
sunday, clinton is staying over, and he, debbie and i wanted to go out and get sushi.
if you would like to come with us, that's more than possible!
i think it's going to be really fun, since most of the people invited have not yet had sushi.
and yes, you are the three invited.
if, afterwards you'd want to do something, i'm completely open to that as well and we can work it all out.
i'm totally up for seeing y'all this weekend, and i talked to stella yesterday,
and she said her only day off is sunday.
so i think it might be our best bet for this weekend.
if anyone wants to come over tonight, i'm up for that too!
i wanted to get my homework done today, and what i have is minimal.
somewhere in here, probably tomorrow, i'm stopping at home for some stuff.
BUT! that's beside the point.
SO! if you can and are willing to do something this weekend,
let's plan it out.
please, please, PLEASE call me and we'll plan it out!
and look! we have something to do! eat sushi!
have a good day my beautiful ladies.
i love you.

(poke a boob)

Monday, March 14th, 2005
11:33 pm

there is a lot of miscommunication going on right now.

(poke a boob)

Thursday, March 10th, 2005
11:18 am - It's Rachels Birthday today, and Chloes on the 13 on Sunday.

Hello. Rachel's birthday is today, she is 24. And Chloe's is on Sunday. Yup. So are we going to do anything this weekend?? Clinton's birthday bash?? or whatnot. Okay well let me know if anyone else knows. Oh yeah, I hate my algebra teacher, he is an asshole. Okay bye bye now.


(2 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Sunday, February 27th, 2005
2:28 pm

i got a story it's almost finished
all i need is someone to tell it to
maybe, that's you.

our time is borrowed and spent too freely
every minute i have needs to be made up
but how?
i'm looking for a nice way to say
"i'm out."
i want out.

i fall asleep with my friends around me
only place i know, i feel safe
i'm gonna call this home

the open road is still miles away
ain't nothing serious
we still have our fun
or we had it once

but windows open and close
that's just how it goes

don't it feel like sunshine afterall
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

i'm in love with the ordinary
i need a simple space
to rest my head
and everything gets clear
well i'm a little ashamed for asking
but just a little helps
it gets me straight again
helps me get over it

it might seem like a dream
but it's real to me

don't it feel like sunshine afterall
the world we love forever, gone
we're only just as happy
as everyone else seems to think we are

you should see the canals are freezing
you should see me high
you should just be here
be with me here
it doesn't seem theres hope for me
i let you down
but i won't give in now
not for any amount

the world you love
_jimmy eat world

you know me, the careless optimist.

so this weekend.
there is a lot going on.
besides the obvious.
friday is band festival. they are performing at like 7:15 or something.
so we can do something after?
i can't do anything saturday night.
i've got a date. but i am available during the day on saturday.
and like i said, after festival on friday.
so please tell me when ya'll are free.
also, after this week, i am on break for a week.
so if you want to do some hanging out, all of us, or not, let me know.
i love yous!
your friendly neighborhood crazy.

(3 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Monday, February 14th, 2005
10:43 pm - *Muah*

Listen, baby...
Ain't no mountain high,
ain't no valley low,
ain't no river wide enough, baby...

If you need me, call me, no matter where you are, no matter how far.
Just call my name, I'll be there in a hurry, you don't have to worry,

'cuz baby, there ain't no mountain high enough,
ain't no valley low enough,
ain't no river wide enough
to keep me from gettin' to you.

(poke a boob)

10:27 pm - My work schedule.

Feb. 15 - 21

Tues: 11-2
Wed: On Call [morning]
Thurs: 10-2
Fri: On Call [morning]
Sat: 3-8
Sun: I don't work
Mon: On Call [morning]

Stella, when do you work on Friday and Saturday?

(2 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Saturday, February 12th, 2005
2:02 am - Just thought you guys should know..


My familiy is doing this tobbaganing thing on the 20th, a sunday.  We are going to the "Fridge".  I MISS YOU ALL!!!!!! BYEBYE...  Oh and one  more thing....

MY BROTHERS GETTING THE FUCK OUT OF IRAQ!!! IN 8 HOURS!!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!!!!!!  He is going back to his original base in Germany for 4 months, then has to go to Afghanistan.  But we are really appreciative of the time he gets away from all that shit.  If you guys could, keep him in your thoughts, it's a dangerous, risky journey he has to make to leave Iraq.  He has to travel through desert and stuff. Ok I love you guys.


(3 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Friday, February 11th, 2005
2:20 pm

So, what do you guys want to do next weekend?
That's the 18-20th, somewhere in there.
I just realized that I forgot about it, lol. I kind of don't want to request more days off right now, so I wonder if we can just see what doesn't clash with everyone's schedules? I can try though if you guys want me to.

I don't really have any ideas right now, but I'd like to plan some sort of activity.
I think it'd be fun to actually have some sort of something to actually do sometimes.
Royal Oak was a lot of fun. I liked that. We should do that again when it's warmer. Lol.

What do you guys think for next weekend?

(2 jealous boys | poke a boob)

Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005

I want to plan an AIM chat for Thursday night, at like 10 or 10:30pm so we can see what everyone's thinking they might want to do on Friday. Carol, will you be home from school by then? Everyone, let me know if that's a good time or not, okay? Thanks. *Muah!*

(1 jealous boy | poke a boob)

10:51 am - Hello there

Hello. Yes I work till 5 on Friday, so It does pretty much work out. Cool. Okay bye bye then.


(poke a boob)

Monday, January 31st, 2005
9:46 am

hey girlies.
stella wanted me to post this for her because her LJ isn't working.

she has good news about hanging out with us on friday and saturday instead of saturday and sunday.
as previously switched in our plan.

she said that she has to work til 5 on friday.
not at all on saturday.
and she has to work on sunday.
so all in all, it really works out.

i'm really excited.
carol, if you read this, please call one of us to let us know what you're up to this weekend.
okay? thank you darlin.

i love yous.
call me or something!

(1 jealous boy | poke a boob)

Sunday, January 23rd, 2005
11:30 pm - Let's play hide and seek in the mall!!!

I'm glad we all got to hang out.
I wish it would have been easier for us all to be alone, but it's cool.
We definitely need to have more AIM chat meetings, though. As long as we're not trying to be so serious.. 'Cuz I really think it's too easy for things to get misinterpretted.
But I think it's a great way to get us all in one place, ya know?
Man, we talk a lot though. Haha.

I love you guys. Seriously.
Y'all are three of the best things I've got going for me, and I want you to know that.

Okay, enough gooeyness.
Blech. Real life sucks... Mondays suck. Sunday nights are like torture.
It's like, "Nnnnooooooooooooo.....!!!" *Slow motion running for no apparent reason other than effect* "Come back weekend!!"
Even though Stel and I don't actually get weekends off...

I love when we get together though, 'cuz it makes me feel like I got to escape life for a while. I wonder if that's good or bad.. lol.

Anycrap, I'm just bored and babbling, so I'll see y'all later.
I love you all and thank you for trying so hard to make something work. :)
See you soon.

(poke a boob)

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