Jesse x Wilson/Collins x Angel

_illcoveryou @ 2008-09-12T17:53:00

2008-09-12T20:52:59Z

Date Last Posted: Not sure. Looong time
Format: Message board
Genre: Originally a RENT RPG, now just a Real Life one.
Name: Alphabet City
Contact: Sarah (Angel on board)
Website: http://alphabet-city.com/phpBB3/
Minimum Age Requirement: 18
Deadline: NONE

Specific Requirements: We're still looking for a Joanne. You can also visit the Character Adoption Center for member-wanted characters.
Game Description: You're living in America at the end of the millennium. . . and you're not alone.
Alphabet City
We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?

Goodbye RENT

2008-09-06T08:48:37Z

Today will be the last performance of the amazing musical RENT.
RENT is the 7th longest running Broadway show in history and after 12 years of being there, it's finally saying it's first goodbye.
RENT is the most influential musical I've ever heard and seen and it has the most amazing message of "No Day But Today."
All RENTheads will be sad to see this show leave it's beloved theatre the Neaderlander, BUT someday soon it will be back on Broadway to dazzle audiences.
I mean come on, South Pacific has been revived...
I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.
But for now, RENT, I must say, "Goodbye Love."

Destruction Prologue

2008-09-03T17:36:20Z

Summary One kiss can destroy friendships and relationships, if the bohos let it. Will they?
Disclaimer I own nothing.

Closed the door on Mimi and his relationship.

_illcoveryou @ 2008-08-22T14:22:00

2008-08-22T17:26:16Z

Date Last Posted: Not sure. Looong time
Format: Message board
Genre: Originally a RENT RPG, now just a Real Life one.
Name: Alphabet City
Contact: Sarah (Angel on board)
Website: http://alphabet-city.com/phpBB3/
Minimum Age Requirement: 18
Deadline: NONE

Specific Requirements: We are currently seeking a Joanne. Our Maureen is very active.
Game Description: You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone.
Alphabet City
We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?

_illcoveryou @ 2008-08-04T22:47:00

2008-08-05T01:47:49Z

Date Last Posted: Not sure. Looong time
Format: Message board
Genre: Originally a RENT RPG, now just a Real Life one.
Name: Alphabet City
Contact: Sarah (Angel on board)
Website: http://alphabet-city.com/phpBB3/
Minimum Age Requirement: 18
Deadline: NONE

Specific Requirements: No canons currently available, please visit the Character Adoption Center for member-wanted characters.
Game Description: You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone.
Alphabet City
We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?

_illcoveryou @ 2008-07-20T21:43:00

2008-07-21T00:41:46Z

Date Last Posted: Not sure. Looong time
Format: Message board
Genre: Originally a RENT RPG, now just a Real Life one.
Name: Alphabet City
Contact: Sarah (Angel on board)
Website: http://alphabet-city.com/phpBB3/
Minimum Age Requirement: 18
Deadline: NONE

Specific Requirements: No canons currently available, please visit the Character Adoption Center for member-wanted characters.
Game Description: You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone.
Alphabet City
We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?

Alphabet City

2008-06-13T12:45:38Z


What's going on?
You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone. Alphabet City We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?
Who can join?
Alphabet City is open to writers 18 and older.
Characters wanted/needed
Any Original character, aged 15 and over who can possibly be found in an artist's slum in New York City is eligible and welcome, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. Canons:No Canons are available at this time. Please visit the Character Adoption Center
About the board/community
We've been running since May, 2006, solidly active every night. Since that time there have been over 150,000 posts and countless characters, OC and canon, set up on that board. We are a welcoming group of writers, who are always willing to work new people into our plots. In July of last year, we set up on phpBB to have freedom of expression. Each approved character is given his/her own subforum in the character information section, where backstories, photos, and other information may be stored. We boast a premium cbox which is usually quite active and friendly, photos of many of the mentioned locations, plus a newly opened cafepress store. Come and see, we're just the best RL RP on the net!
Important information
Rules Canon Information Character Adoption Center Admin contact Cafepress store

And for those who aren't into fics...

2008-06-01T20:18:39Z

A couple discussion topics!!!

Have you heard? The final performance of RENT will be shown in movie theatres!!!!

Check it out!

My personal favourite bit:

In addition to the final performance, the Rent filming will also "feature special closing night extras, when original cast members of the Tony- and Pulitzer Prize-winning musical are expected to join and celebrate in the farewell festivities."

Cant wait!!!

Also...

The OBC is gonna be on the Tonys!!!

Check it out!

Any thoughts as to what they might do???

Happy Birthday , Chapter 2 - Together

2008-06-01T12:56:18Z

Title: Happy Birthday , Chapter 2 - Together
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Rating: M
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Angel and Collins celebrate Collins' birthday. Based on my other fic Numbers.
Warnings: Men in Love, and Adult goins on...
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Slowly, Angel urged Collins onto his back, letting his hands wander over his broad chest as he kissed him soundly. As the kiss broke, Angel pulled away just a little, smiling down at his lover as he let one finger trail over his dark skin, tracing letters there. A soft giggle spilled from him when he was finished, and he leaned down to press a kiss to that same spot, his warm lips making Collins shiver. He moaned low in is throat when Angel’s tongue darted out to taste his skin, managing to keep himself composed enough to ask, “What’d you write, baby?”

Angel giggled again, running his palm flat over the invisible words. He smirked up at Collins for a moment before wiggling down a little and beginning to spread kisses down the centre of his body, loving the way his skin felt, how he tasted.

“Happy birthday,” he began, voice low and husky, punctuating each of his words with kisses and little licks to his chest and stomach, “To the sexiest, sweetest, most handsome and amazing man. I love you.” Most of that he hadn’t actually traced, but he couldn’t keep himself from saying it. To him, that was exactly what Collins was.

Collins flushed deeply at the compliments, never taking his gaze off Angel. His muscles tensed under his hot kisses, his arousal building with each one. “Angel…” was the only word he could manage to voice as he watched his lover travel down his body. His hips lifted involuntarily when Angel lightly nipped the sensitive skin just above his underwear, and he groaned softly, reaching one hand down to sift through his short hair.

Angel giggled quietly once more before slipping his fingers beneath the waistband of Collins’ underwear and swiftly pulling them off, tossing them aside and letting his eyes rake over Collins’ naked form. Without wasting even a moment, Angel curled his long fingers around Collins’ length and slid his lips over the very tip, sucking gently and producing a long, low moan from his lover. He smiled around him, stroking him once before moving his hand away and taking him fully into his mouth. Angel could feel Collins’ body tense beneath him, and lifted his eyes to meet his, feeling a rush of heat flow through him when he saw the pleasure that graced his lover’s gorgeous features.

He sucked him slowly, teasingly, listening to the soft sounds his lover made, gently stroking his hands over his bare legs as they writhed beneath him. He could feel Collins’ hands gripping him more tightly, tangling in his hair, and he moaned softly around him, knowing he was moving closer and closer to his peak.

In all his life, Angel had never enjoyed pleasuring men this way, but with Collins, it was so different. For Angel, pleasuring Collins felt almost as good as receiving that pleasure in return, for with Collins, Angel knew he wasn’t taking from him, like so many others before him. With Collins, it was something special, something shared. With Collins, it was love.

Angel knew Collins’ body as well as he knew his own, and when he sensed his lover was teetering on the brink of his orgasm, he let him slip from his mouth, kneeling up between his legs and smirking at him, licking his lips seductively.

The loss of Angel’s warm mouth caused Collins to gasp, a tiny, rather undignified sound slipping between his lips. He whimpered softly, opening his eyes to look up at Angel, body on fire with the pleasure that raged through him.

“Baby,” he groaned, reaching out his arms to him, wanting to feel those lips around him again, but Angel slid gracefully out of his reach and off the bed, standing before him just far enough away that he couldn’t touch him.

With a mischievous grin, Angel slowly peeled his robe off his body, revealing himself to his lover. Only Collins could make him feel this comfortable, to show himself completely to him. He tossed it aside, reveling in the way Collins’ smouldering gaze drank him in, a small blush creeping onto his features. Not wanting him to wait any longer, Angel deftly grabbed the tube of lube from the bedside table, squirting an ample amount onto the palm of his hand and wrapping it around his lover firmly as he climbed back into the bed, straddling him, a soft laugh escaping him at the sound of pleasure that spilled from Collins.

Stroking him gently for a moment, enough to make him squirm beneath him, but not enough to make him come, Angel let his free hand roam over Collins’ chest, teasing his nipples and watching as his back arched up under him. When he was ready, Angel let his hand slip away, preparing himself quickly, never taking his eyes off Collins’ gorgeous face. He could see the desire growing in Collins as Collins watched him, and knew he was doing everything he could to hold back, to keep from flipping him over and just taking him right then.

In time, when Angel felt like he too was ready to burst, he pulled his hand away and leaned over Collins again, taking his length in hand and bringing it to his entrance. He held him there, just staring down at him, smiling, before whispering, “I love you,” and slowly sinking down onto his slick member.

They made love slowly and passionately, soft words passing between them as hands roamed the familiar territory of soft, heated skin. Their eyes stayed locked on each other, love flowing between them so strong it was almost tangible, low moans pressed into tiny kisses. Even though Angel wanted to keep control, to make this completely for Collins, he made no move to stop his lover when he wrapped his big hand firmly around him, stroking in time with the rhythm Angel had set.

“Collins!” he cried, eyes falling shut as the added sensation drove him to the edge of his peak. He knew Collins was holding back for him, waiting for him before he let himself go. Collins loved it that way, loved to feel Angel’s body tense around him as he came, to let it push him over the edge.

“Yes, baby,” Collins groaned, letting his head fall back against the pillows, body taut as he continued to stroke his lover, his free hand gripping his hip tightly as his own hips thrust frantically up to meet Angel’s. It wasn’t long before he felt Angel tense, muscles clenching around him as he came between their bodies with a long cry of his name. With one more thrust into his lover, Collins followed, releasing deep inside him as Angel collapsed on top of him, crying out his love to Angel as he slid his arms around his waist, clinging tightly to him.

“Oh Angel,” he whispered, body trembling, “My beautiful Angel.”

Angel was quiet for a long moment, panting, ear pressed to Collins’ chest, just listening to his racing heartbeat. Finally, he lifted his head to look into Collins’ loving brown eyes.

“Happy birthday, honey.”

Happy Birthday , Chapter 1 - Good Morning

2008-06-01T12:54:28Z

Title: Happy Birthday , Chapter 1 - Good Morning
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Rating: T, Maybe...
Genre: Romance
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Angel and Collins celebrate Collins' birthday. Based on my other fic Numbers.
Warnings: Men in Love...
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

“Collins,”

He heard the sweet voice whispering in his ear, pulling him from a deep sleep. He didn’t open his eyes, though, just shifted a little, burrowing deeper into the warm covers and reaching for his lover, gently tugging his arm, wanting him back in bed with him.

“Collins,” he heard again, as Angel pulled his arm out of his grasp. Collins whimpered a little, rolling on his side to face him and opening one eye to peer up at him. Angel giggled softly, a bright smile lighting his face, and Collins couldn’t help but smile back at him. It was always like that with Angel; no matter how Collins was feeling, one smile from his lover could always brighten his day.

“C’mere, you,” Collins growled, playfully, fully awake now though his voice was laced with the last vestiges of sleep. He reached out and grabbed Angel around the waist, pulling him onto the bed with him and leaning in for a kiss.

Angel laughed, a delighted squeal slipping from him as Collins’ big arms slid around him. He had other things in mind, though, and he enjoyed the touch for just a moment longer before pulling away, hands against Collins’ bare chest as he pushed himself off the bed.

“No!” he protested, laughter in his voice, “Not yet, honey.” He smiled sweetly at Collins, reaching out a hand to gently stroke his cheek. He was so excited about today, and even Collins could see it, though he wasn’t quite sure why. Mornings were not Collins’ most intelligent time.

“Happy birthday, Collins,” Angel said softly, eyes dancing with love and adoration for his man.

Happy Birthday.

Collins’ eyes widened, stunned that Angel had actually remembered. They’d only discussed it once, the night they met, and it had never come up again. Collins hadn’t celebrated a birthday since he turned ten, and was used to it just being any other day. But Angel, Angel had remembered all this time, and he could tell just from the look in his eyes that he was going to make this a special day for him.

Angel, for his part, practically beamed as he reached over to the table beside their bed to grab a small plate of food.

“Made you breakfast in bed,” he said, finally slipping into the bed beside Collins. He propped a pillow up against the wall, urging Collins to sit up, and he did, leaning against the soft pillow, still shocked that Angel had even remembered. He looked at the plate of food, registering it and its mouth-watering aroma for the first time. It wasn’t much – they had very little money, and some days, breakfast wasn’t even an option for them – but to Collins, it looked like a gourmet meal. As Angel straddled him, holding the plate in one hand and taking a piece of toast in the other, all Collins could do was look at him in wonder, amazed at how he ever managed to deserve his love. Angel was the most amazing person he’d ever known, and every day he thanked his lucky stars that he was his.

Carefully, Collins took a bite of the toast Angel held out to him, never breaking his gaze. This was, without question, the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for him, and his heart swelled with love for him. Wanting to share this special moment with him, he reached for the other piece of toast, but before he could pick it up, Angel swatted his hand away, grinning.

“Nuh-uh,” he said, waggling a finger at Collins playfully, “It’s your birthday, honey. This is all for you.”

Collins ate slowly, savouring every bit of the simple breakfast, feeling like a king. In all his life, he could never remember anyone doing something quite like this for him, something for him and him alone. The love he could feel in this simple gesture was nearly overwhelming.

When he was finished, Collins gently took the plate from Angel, setting it aside and slipping his arms around his waist, pulling him close. He scattered kisses across his cheeks, his chin, his nose, before finally letting his lips linger against his lover’s.

“Thank you,” he whispered when he pulled away, gazing deeply into Angel’s eyes, “This is the best gift anyone’s ever given me.”

Angel just smiled at him, eyes twinkling as he lay his body flush against Collins’, pressing his hips down against his lover’s.

“That’s not your only gift,” he whispered, raising a suggestive eyebrow. Collins just gazed up at him certain he knew just what Angel had in mind. This was going to be the best birthday he’d ever had.

Ever Since Our Wedding, Chapter 3 - Enter Tom Collins

2008-06-01T12:52:21Z

Title: Ever Since Our Wedding, Chapter 3 - Enter Tom Collins
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Rating: K+
Genre: General/Friendship
Pairing: Collins, Roger, Mark, Maureen and Benny are there, with mentions of Alison.
Summary: My take on Benny's line "Ever since our wedding, I'm dirt," in Rent.
Warnings: Bigotry
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Collins was nervous. He knew he shouldn’t be, but he was. He walked toward the church, hand in Greg’s. It was a surreal feeling, really. Collins wasn’t much for the dating scene, but Greg… he really liked him as a colleague, and as a person. He’d been terrified to ask him out but so relieved when he’d said yes. He just hoped that maybe this could work out. He smiled a little shyly at the other man as they climbed the steps, trying to relax. He always got flustered around cute guys.

At the door to the church, a rather stuffy-looking man stopped them, looking between them with an expression bordering on distaste, something Collins had experienced far too often. He stood a little taller, anger already beginning to boil up inside him, but he pushed it back, waiting to see what the man would say.

“Do you have an invitation… sir?” he asked, placing an emphasis on the last word, as if it was difficult for him to get out.

“Yes I do,” Collins replied, keeping his tone even as he pulled it out of his pocket, glancing at Greg, who simply stood quietly, staring the older man down.

The usher took the invitation from Collins gingerly, looking like he expected to catch something from him if he touched him, and Collins couldn’t help but scoff. He shook his head, tugging lightly at Greg’s hand.

“Come on,” he said, a little gruffly, moving around the man. But before he could take even one step into the church, he was stopped by a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry… sir, but you can’t go in there.”

Collins turned slowly, a stunned expression on his face. From inside, he could hear Maureen shout his name, but he barely registered it, too focused on the man in front of him.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked, staring at him in utter disbelief, “You have my invitation. This is my best friend’s wedding. I will be going inside.” With that, he shook the hand off his shoulder and tried to move past him again, his anger nearly boiling over.

“Sir,” the main said, more forcefully this time, irritation clear, “This is a house of God. I will not allow-” he paused, looking over Collins and Greg with a sneer, “Blasphemy within these walls.”

Maureen somehow always had impeccable timing. Didn’t always mean she showed up at the best of times, but certainly in time to make a scene.

“Excuse me?” she exclaimed, loud enough for everyone assembled to hear – another thing she was very good at. The usher just looked at her, seeming a bit uncomfortable with the attention that was being drawn his way.

“Are you serious? Are you really going to keep a man from seeing his best friend get married because of who he brought as a date?” she demanded.

“Maureen,” Collins said quietly, not wanting her to cause a scene, but knowing it was inevitable, “Leave it, okay?” He didn’t want to do anything to mess up Benny’s day.

“I’m sorry, Miss,” the usher said in his most tolerant voice, “But this does not concern you. If you’ll please return to your seat, the wedding will be getting underway shortly.”

Maureen bristled. “I will not return to my seat!” she retorted, voice rising in pitch and volume, even as the older man tried to shush her, “This man is my friend! And the groom’s friend! And he has just as much right to be here as anyone else. More than you, that’s for sure! I’m sure Benny would rather have blasphemy-” she spat out the word, “At his wedding than bigotry!”

“Miss,” the man said again, face growing red as he struggled to stay calm, “Please quiet down. You’re upsetting the congregation!”

“I don’t give a-” Maureen began, but before she could continue, she was stopped by Collins taking her hand.

“Maureen,” he said, softly, gently, eyes fixed on Benny, who still stood at the altar, who was looking more and more uncomfortable as he watched the scene play out.

“What?!” Maureen practically shrieked. Her anger wasn’t directed at Collins at all, but she was having trouble calming herself.

“Just leave it, okay. Today… today’s about Benny. Not about you or me. Let’s… let’s not do anything to spoil it for him, okay?”

“But Collins…” she protested.

“No buts, Maureen. You know I feel exactly the same way you do. You know I’m just as pissed as you are, but I’m not going to spoil this for Benny. You… just make sure Mark gets some good shots, okay?” he asked, sadness in his voice.

Maureen wasn’t usually one to give in so easily, but when it came to Collins, he was somehow always able to get her to do what he wanted her to. She didn’t have the heart to tell him that Mark wasn’t allowed to film, so she just nodded, seeing how hurt he looked and not wanting to make it any worse.

“Thanks,” Collins whispered, kissing her cheek, “Give Benny my best.” With that, he turned away, hand still in Greg’s, trying to keep his head held high.

Ever Since Our Wedding, Chapter 2 - Fade in on Mark

2008-06-01T12:50:56Z

Title: Ever Since Our Wedding, Chapter 2 - Fade in on Mark
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Rating: K+
Genre: General/Friendship
Pairing: A teensy bit of Mark/Maureen in this chapter. Collins, Roger, Mark, Maureen and Benny are there, with mentions of Alison.
Summary: My take on Benny's line "Ever since our wedding, I'm dirt," in Rent.
Warnings: None yet.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Maureen and Mark made their way up to the grand front doors of the church, Mark feeling more than a little intimidated by the imposing nature of the building, not to mention all the guests arriving in their fancy cars and suits he wouldn’t be able to afford in a lifetime. One arm clung tightly to his camera, the other was wrapped around Maureen’s waist. Maureen who didn’t seem to feel any of the same anxiety Mark did.

“Isn’t this great?” she exclaimed, looking around and taking in all the beautiful dresses, all the handsome, rich men as they walked by. She’d been practically bouncing all morning, so excited was she to be a part of all this.

“Yeah. Great,” Roger grumbled from behind them.

Mark and Collins had managed to convince Roger to come after much prodding and practically begging him. They’d gotten him into a suit – albeit reluctantly – and he’d come along with Mark and Maureen as they left. Collins was going to meet them at the church with Greg a bit later.

There was something that had surprised Mark. For once, Maureen had actually put aside her natural tendency toward being the centre of attention, and actually suggested that Collins meet Greg on his own to give the two men a little privacy. Mark hadn’t been able to help the look of near shock that had crossed his face when she’d spoken to Collins; normally she would have wanted to be right there in the thick of things, grilling Greg and unintentionally making both men extremely uncomfortable. But not today.

So there they were, the three of them, Mark and Roger feeling completely out of place, Maureen in all her glory as they walked inside the lavishly decorated church. Mark blinked a few times, eyes adjusting to the dim light, before letting his arm slip from Maureen’s waist so he could wind his camera.

“Look at Benny!” Maureen squealed, voice echoing through the sanctuary. Many disapproving gazes turned in her direction, but she didn’t seem to notice as she waved to her friend.

Mark took the chance to lift his camera, getting a shot of Benny while he was looking their way, zooming in on his rather nervous looking face as he waved back at them. He zoomed out a little as an older man – Alison’s father, maybe? – crossed to Benny and began speaking to him in hushed tones. Benny glanced over at Mark a few times during the conversation, then back at his soon-to-be father-in-law, shaking his head. Finally, he gave a little sigh and nodded, and the older man walked away.

Feeling suddenly even more awkward as Benny looked at him, Mark redirected his camera to Maureen and Roger. Maureen immediately struck a pose, blowing kisses at the camera and chattering on about how positively wonderful everything was. Roger just stood there, a little behind her and off to the side, arms crossed, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.

“And here’s Maureen Johnson,” he began, zooming in on his girlfriend, “All set to-”

Someone tapping on his shoulder nearly made him jump, and he lowered his camera, turning to face a rather uncomfortable looking Benny.

“Benny,” he said happily, grinning widely, “You look great. Nervous?”

But Benny just shook his head, taking Mark’s arm and tugging him away from the crowd of milling people.

“Listen man,” he said quietly, and Mark could tell there was something wrong. He lowered his camera to his side, looking at his friend, concerned.

“Alison’s parents,” Benny continued, eyes darting away from Mark and then back again, “They… they paid a lot of money for a professional to come in and film the wedding. Do you… would you mind… not filming?”

It was a hard request for Benny to make, one he didn’t want to make at all. Filming was everything to Mark, and he knew he’d want to film an important day like this. He felt terrible for asking him, but he wanted this day to go smoothly, and he knew it wouldn’t if his father-in-law didn’t get his way on this.

Mark, never one to make waves, just smiled and nodded, though Benny could see the hurt behind it.

“Sure,” he said, trying to sound casual, to keep the disappointment out of his voice, “No problem.” Benny was one of his closest friends, and he wasn’t even going to be able to film his wedding?

“Thanks man,” Benny said, smiling a little, trying to pretend that everything was going to be just fine.

It had to be. It was his wedding day.

Ever Since Our Wedding - Chapter 1

2008-06-01T12:48:04Z

Title: Ever Since Our Wedding, Chapter 1 - The Invitation
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Rating: K+
Genre: General/Friendship
Pairing: None, really. Collins, Roger, Mark, Maureen and Benny are there, with mentions of Alison.
Summary: My take on Benny's line "Ever since our wedding, I'm dirt," in Rent.
Warnings: None yet.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Mr. Thomas Collins and Guest

Mr. and Mrs. Charles Grey

request the pleasure of your company

at the marriage of their daughter

Alison Celeste

Benjamin Edward Coffin III

At St. Philips Catholic Church, Westport

on Saturday 7th August

at two o’clock

Collins raised an eyebrow as he looked over the gold-embossed invitation. He could tell this was going to be just about the fanciest thing he’d ever been to. Quickly, his mind raced, trying to think of who he could go with. He didn’t have a boyfriend – had never really had a boyfriend, but there was a certain someone at the university who had piqued his curiosity. With a grin, he made the decision to ask him the next day.

Looking up as the door opened to reveal Mark and Maureen, Collins stood from his place on the couch and crossed to them, handing them the envelope addressed to Mr. Mark Cohen and Miss Maureen Johnson. There was another for Roger, but Collins wasn’t willing to go into his room just then. Roger had been out earlier that morning, and somehow Collins had managed to set him off. He’d stormed into his room and Collins hadn’t heard a sound from him since.

“Benny left these on the table,” he said, gesturing to Roger’s unopened invitation, “Looks like it’s gonna be quite the event.”

The four of them, while happy for their friend, were more than a little wary of his choice. They’d barely met Alison, except for the one time Benny had brought her over. Alison had sat perched on their couch looking one step away from terrified for what had been the most awkward fifteen minutes in Collins’ recent memory. Benny had tried to initiate conversations, but Alison had only replied in one word answers. Soon enough, Benny had realized that it just wasn’t going to work, and had suggested to Alison that they go out for dinner. She’d practically raced out of the loft, and hadn’t returned since.

But, it was clear that Benny loved her, and that she loved him too; none of them could deny that, and so they tried to be as supportive as they could, even as they watched their friend drift further and further away from them.

Maureen, however, was able to put aside that resentment for the moment, all her attention focused on the elegant invitation with her name on it.

“Oh my God!” she practically yelled, “Look at this, Mark! It’s gorgeous!” Maureen ran her hand over the lettering of their names before tearing it open rather unceremoniously. Her eyes scanned over the words on the card itself, smile growing the more she read.

“I can’t believe this!” she exclaimed, “Benny’s getting married in Westport! Benny!”

She giggled, looking up at her boyfriend, then to Collins. Collins could tell, just from the look on her face, that she planned to make quite the impression on the guests at the wedding. Whether or not that was a good impression, he couldn’t tell, but he knew Maureen would certainly make a splash. She always did.

“Who you gonna bring baby?” Maureen asked, flouncing over to Collins and flinging her arms around him. Collins just laughed.

“I was thinking Greg from work,” he replied, smiling a little shyly. Not only didn’t he date much, but he really didn’t talk about it at all. Of course, Maureen was never one to let him get away with something without sharing all the details.

“Great!” she squealed, clapping her hands and moving back to Mark, “Now all we have to do is get Roger off his ass!” she pecked Mark on the cheek, looking at her invitation once more.

“This is gonna be so much fun!”

After all that...

2008-05-31T11:56:56Z

I have two more fics that are chapter fics, incomplete at the moment.

One is Pre-Rent, based on Benny's line "Ever since our wedding, I'm dirt," in Rent. My take on what happened. It has three chapters so far, and will likely have five or six total.

The other is based on my fic Numbers. It's rated M and takes us through Collins' birthday, and exactly how Angel spoiled him. It has two chapters now, and will likely have four when it is finished.

So my question is... Does anyone want me to post those, too??

Fic dump!

2008-05-31T11:53:43Z

Title: Love Me
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 879
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Angel
Summary: Angel thinks he's found the one.
Notes: Another Angel backstory. This was written in 20 minutes at 6am...
Warnings: Adult themes. Nothing explicit.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

“Open the goddamned door, Angel!”

The pounding at his door increased as Angel sat huddled in a corner, just staring at it, hoping the bolt was strong enough to keep him out.

Him.

He should have known. He should have known this was how it would end. Never get involved with a client. How many times had he been told that? How could he have been so stupid? But he’d seemed so sweet at first.

“Once a man sees you as his personal sex toy, he can’t see you any other way,” Mimi had warned him. But he hadn’t listened. Couldn’t listen. He’d wanted so badly to believe that he was the one. The one who would finally treat him like he mattered. The one who would treat him like the woman he wanted to be.

Angel had resisted him as long as he could. James was one of her regulars, and after a few visits, he’d told him he wanted to see him outside of work. He wanted to take him on a date. Angel had been flattered, but had refused, Mimi’s words ringing in his head. But James had been so persistent. He’d brought flowers, little gifts of jewelry and chocolate, and soon Angel had said yes. He’d wanted to say yes. Surely James was different. He wasn’t like the men Mimi talked about. Right?

Soon, though, it had become all too clear that he was exactly like those men. At first, he’d showered Angel with money and gifts. He was a business man, and seemed to have an endless supply. It was the first time in years that Angel was able to eat three meals a day. He felt like royalty.

But then came the day it all changed. He could place the exact moment it had happened, and wished with everything inside him that he’d been able to say no, like he wanted to. But the allure of food, and even more than that, his desire for someone to care about him, to love him, won out and he’d agreed.

It was supposed to have been a threesome. With one of James’ friends from work. Supposed to be. It had ended up being Angel pleasuring the friend while James watched. He was doing exactly what he did for money, only this time, no one was paying, and this time, James was watching, telling him what to do, telling him exactly what to do. He felt dirtier than he ever had selling his body.

When it was over, Angel took a long hot shower, the water washing away his tears as his body shook with sobs. He stayed that way until the water was cold and he was shivering, no more tears left to cry. As he left the bathroom, James immediately pulled him into his arms, telling him how much he had appreciated that. And for the first time, he told Angel he loved him.

Maybe that was why he had stayed.

After that day, it became routine for James to bring his friends home, his acquaintances, his business partners. Anyone he could find, it seemed. Often more than one. It wasn’t unusual for Angel to entertain a group of men while James watched, getting off on the pain they caused him, the way they were so rough with him. Angel would look at him with pleading eyes, begging him to make them stop, but James would just smile, mouthing the words I love you and blowing him a kiss.

Angel had had enough. Last night, James had brought just a single friend home. But he was the most sadistic, evil bastard Angel had ever encountered. He’d been unable to stop the tears when he’d seen him come in the door, and that had only served to make James even more excited than usual, and to make his friend treat him even worse. When James whispered “I love you,” from across the room, Angel knew he couldn’t live this way any longer. He was nothing more than James’ personal whore, and he would not let it go on.

With what little money he had, Angel bought a new lock for the door. How could he have been so stupid as to give James a key? But he’d wanted to believe so badly that James was the man who would love him. He’d been blinded by his money, by the food he was able to eat, but even more so by his words of love, no matter how hollow he knew them to be. He’d just felt that if he tried a little harder, he’d be able to make them true.

Now, sitting in the corner, curled up into himself as the tears streaked down his face, all he could do was pray the door would hold and listen as James hurled insults at him. Telling him he was nothing, telling him no one could ever love him, that he was worthless, dirty, used. He leaned his head against the wall behind him, looking up at the ceiling, trying to block out the words, trying not to believe them.

But in his heart, he did.

Still going!

2008-05-31T11:49:25Z

Title: Heaven
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 1647
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Spiritual
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Collins and Angel have a heart to heart talk/
Notes: Co-written with Jenna!
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Angel sat on her well-worn couch, feet propped up on the arm, head resting on Collins' leg as he sat reading over a student's paper. Flipping through a month-old magazine she'd found that morning, she stopped at her horoscope. Wrinkling her nose when it told her she'd meet someone who would make her rethink her current relationship, she scoffed, tossing it aside. She'd never taken horoscopes terribly seriously, but the thought that she'd be tempted by someone other than Collins was just silly.

Collins, who was just about to mark a big D+ in red ink on the paper, briefly looked away to glance at his lover. He peered down into her big brown eyes, smiling a little. All the thoughts of poorly written essays and lazy students were cast aside for just a moment. "Hi, there," he said.

"Hi," Angel replied, grinning up at him, "Good papers?" she teased, knowing how he hated grading them.

Collins rolled his eyes. "They're fantastic," he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. He reached over and gently brushed a strand of dark hair away from Angel's face. As usual, she had completely distracted him from the work he was supposed to be doing.

Smiling up at her lover, Angel took his hand as he brushed it through her hair and laced her fingers with his, just gazing at their joined hands. She adored the way their skin looked together; Collins' so dark against her own. "Do you think we'll be together forever?" she asked after a moment, voice quiet.

It seemed to be a spur-of-the-moment question, and at first, Collins said nothing. 'Forever', he knew, was a powerful word, full of broken promises and wishful thinking...Those thoughts, however, he kept to himself. He'd never been a person who believed in any kind of forever...He was a realist. Things had to end eventually.

But with Angel, it was different. For the first time in his life, he wanted a forever. With her.

"Of course, baby," he promised her, "Of course we will."

Angel played with Collins' fingers as she thought about his answer. She knew that nothing could tear them apart now, but she wanted to know about later. When this disease inside them finally took hold and took one of them away. What happened to forever then? Angel was no fool; she knew she was the weaker of them and that she would be gone before Collins, but what happened then? What would happen to her?

Bringing their joined hands to her lips, Angel kissed Collins' fingers softly. "But what about after I'm gone?" she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, "What happens to us then?"

Swallowing hard, Collins squeezed Angel's hand a little and whispered, "Ang, don't talk like that..."

But he found himself staring into those eyes again. The soft glow was still there, but her eyebrows were furrowed in determination. She wanted him to answer her.

"Well..." he finally said, "I think we'll always be together. No matter what. No matter where you are, or where I am, you're always in my heart."

Angel was quiet again, lost in thought. She wanted to believe that they'd always be together, that even death couldn't tear them apart, but she wasn't sure. She'd never really thought about what it would be like in heaven; really, she'd only ever learned about it in church as a child, and according to the church, she wouldn't even be able to go there. That troubled her, and she looked up into Collins' eyes again.

"What do you think heaven's like?" she asked him.

The question surprised Collins a little; he hadn't really thought about it much. Like Angel, he was raised on the basis that heaven was a place you went to if you were a decent person in life. Apparently, there were specific requirements as to what was "decent", and Collins certainly didn't fit some of them...But Collins liked to believe it was much more than that.

"I think it's a place where you can be truly happy. Where you can be with the people who make you happy...with nothing standing in your way." He bit his lip thoughtfully. "...And it doesn't matter who you are or where you came from, or what you did in life. It's just you, being accepted for who you are."

Angel looked up at him with wide eyes as he spoke, smiling as his hand drifted through the strands of her wig. She sighed when he finished, feeling a little uncertain.

"Do... do you think I'll get to go there?" she asked, timidly.

Collins sensed the unadulterated worry in her voice, and he hoped his answer would reassure her. "You will," he said, "I know you will. If there's anyone who deserves a place in heaven, it's you, baby."

Angel sighed, fingers twining and untwining with Collins'. "Papá always told me that heaven is for the good people. That sinners don't get to go there," she frowned, memories flooding her mind from the last time she'd seen him. She didn't like to think about it, but now the words came unbidden, and she could hear her father's voice as if he were standing right next to her. "He said I'm a sinner," she said quietly, unable to look at Collins.

Collins gently brought his finger under Angel's chin, bringing her face toward his. Looking into her eyes, he saw the pain of the once distant memories. He could almost feel it himself.

He watched as she nervously sat up, wringing her hands and staring down at the ground and soundlessly pulled her into his arms, kissing her temple gently.

"You're not," he whispered, "and you can't let anyone tell you what's going to happen to you after this life, because they don't know. You and I don't know--Nobody knows, Ang. But it's not for us to decide, and it's not for your dad to decide...Whatever happens is completely out of our control."

Collins sounded so sure, and as Angel looked up at him, she could see that certainty in his eyes. It brought a small smile to her lips, and she took his hand again, this time lacing their fingers together and holding it tightly.

"I always thought," she said softly, voice wistful as she lost herself to her imaginings, "That when I got to heaven, it would be like this. Like home. That I'd have my friends around me, and the man I loved," she paused there, looking up at him again and smiling, "And I'd be able to go to all the places I liked while I was alive, but I wouldn't have to worry about anything. I wouldn't be sick, there wouldn't be anyone there who would make fun of me. Everything would be like it is now, only without any of the hateful things or the scary things." She was quiet for a moment, thumb running over the back of Collins' hands. "Do you think it'll be like that?" she asked him, "You and me, still together, still in love, but not sick. Just...happy."

The insecurity she was feeling broke Collins' heart. He held her even tighter. "It'll be just like that, babygirl. There won't be anything holding us back; just you and me, together. No time limits, or obstacles...it'll be forever, just like that."

Although he hated the thought of losing Angel, he knew just as well as she did that he'd be forced to live on without her eventually. It sickened him even to think about it...but it was nice to have that small glint of hope that they'd find each other again, wherever heaven may be or however long it took to get there.

Angel seemed to sense where Collins' thoughts had gone and she frowned again, fidgeting a little. "Do you think I'll have to wait long?" she asked him. She didn't like the thought of being there without him. What was heaven if the love of her life wasn't there? It was nothing, and it meant nothing without him. But she'd wait for him as long as she needed to.

Collins wasn't sure how to answer. He averted his eyes to the small, dusty window on the other side of the room as the rain pitter-pattered against the frame. There was a brief silence, but it was the kind of quiet that is almost comforting; a gentle pause in between the sad and hushed whispers of the two lovers.

He finally pulled his hand from Angel's grasp, and before she could utter another word, pressed his lips to hers. Closing his eyes, he let the kiss blanket him with warmth. He felt Angel's arms wrap around his neck, and when they parted, he found himself staring once again into those beautiful brown eyes.

"I don't know," he said quietly, "what's going to happen after this moment. Or what'll happen tomorrow, or a month from now. All I know is that I am so completely in love with you..."

A small smile graced Ange's lips now. It seemed to light up the room.

"...And I believe that no matter what tries to bring us apart, we'll always be together, and that will never, ever change."

Angel snuggled close to Collins, comforted by his words and his strong arms around her. She closed her eyes, head resting against his chest.

“And that’s all I need,” she whispered.

Hope you're not getting sick of me...

2008-05-31T11:46:48Z

Title: Slipping Away
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 687
Rating: K+
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Collins doesn't want Angel to be alone.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Taking a long drag from his cigarette, Collins took one last look back at his lover. Not him, he reminded himself, but he still couldn’t think of him that way. Not his Angel. His Angel was too beautiful, so animated, so alive. His Angel couldn’t be…

It was just supposed to be one look, one glance back, one final goodbye, but what he saw stopped him cold in his tracks.

“No,” he breathed, so quietly, he was sure none of his friends around him could even hear.

But he should have known. He should have known Mimi would notice. Mimi. Of all his friends, Mimi was the one whose grief was likely just about as strong as his own. They had been closest to him, after all.

“Collins?” Collins barely heard her speak his name. All he could do was stare at the sight before him. He’d tried to stay calm, tried so hard not to let the emotions overwhelm him, but now… now he couldn’t hold the tears back and they welled up, blurring his vision and burning his throat.

“No,” he whispered again, the word sent out on a sob.

Ignoring the gentle touch of Mimi’s hand on his arm, Collins staggered back toward Angel’s grave. He heard voices behind him, but couldn’t make out what any of them were saying. His entire world had narrowed down to the sight of Angel’s coffin, being slowly lowered into the ground.

It had been hard enough for him to accept that Angel, his beautiful, sweet, bubbly Angel, was in there at all. He’d had to remind himself that it wasn’t truly Angel, only a shell of the man he had loved. But it had been so hard. And now, seeing him being lowered into the cold, dark ground, Collins simply couldn’t take it anymore.

“Angel!” he cried, his voice finally returning as he made his way through the rows of gravestones. He couldn’t leave him here! Couldn’t leave him alone! Angel didn’t like to be alone!

A pair of strong arms wrapped around him, stopping him from moving any farther, and he fought against them. But he was weak from lack of sleep, from days filled with grief, and he was no match for them.

“Let me go!” he sobbed, “I have to go to him! I can’t leave him here!” His eyes never left Angel’s coffin, and a choked sob welled up inside him as it disappeared beneath the surface. He renewed his struggles against whoever was holding him, but the panic was overwhelming him.

“Angel! Oh God, Angel!” he sobbed, collapsing into those arms, body wracked with grief. His eyes never strayed from Angel's grave and his mouth formed silent words that he couldn't get out.

"Collins," he heard a familiar voice say, and he struggled to focus on it, "Collins, it's not him. It's not Angel."

"I can't leave him alone!" Collins wailed, reaching out to his lover.

"Collins!" the voice said, louder this time, and Collins turned in his grasp to look at him with barely focused eyes.

"Collins," he repeated, more gently this time, holding his gaze, "You know that's not him. He's in a better place now. He's not hurting. He's not scared." Even as he said the words, they sounded hollow.

But to Collins, those words seemed to penetrate the haze of panic and fear and grief that had overwhelmed him. The tears still fell, soaking the other man's shirt, but they fell quietly, and as he looked up into his eyes, he could feel himself beginning to calm. He knew he was right.

"What do I do now, Mark?" he asked, voice raw and laced with pain. He felt completely lost.

Mark said nothing for a time, and Collins saw his gaze shift to Angel's grave before moving back to him. He regarded him quietly, swallowing hard against the grief he saw on his friend's face before finally speaking.

"You live."

Still more fics!

2008-05-31T11:44:11Z

Title: Dark
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 1186
Rating: T
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Collins goes home for the first time after Angel's death.
Notes: This was inspired by the Dutch version of Rent.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

It was dark. Too dark, and too quiet. He walked slowly into the apartment, not bothering to turn on any lights, even though he could barely see. He felt like an intruder, like he was somewhere he shouldn’t be. This wasn’t his apartment. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t feel any of the warmth, the life that had been here when…

Collins suddenly felt his entire body go cold, and he began to shake. He didn’t know if he could face this, face the reality of what had happened. He’d thought he was ready, but now he wasn’t so sure. Standing here, seeing everything that used to belong to him, to them. But there was no them anymore, and the very thought of it brought a fresh wave of tears to his eyes, tears he thought he’d put behind him.

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, Collins moved farther into the apartment. As he looked around the small room, his eyes landed on the couch – the last place he and Angel had been together before… He swallowed hard, willing himself not to look down, but it was almost as if there was some force drawing his eyes to the floor; to the dress on the floor.

“Hot,” he moaned, eyes closed, body shaking with fever.

“I know, baby, I know,” he whispered back, folding and refolding the damp cloth to press against his forehead, trying to ease his fever.

“Collins…”

Sweat mixed with his tears as they streamed down his face, and Collins could feel his heart break a little more as each one landed on his chest.

“It’s okay, baby,” he cooed, fighting against his own tears, “You’ll be okay. You’ll be okay, Angel.”

But he didn’t know who he was trying to convince more.

“Too hot!” he cried out, twisting in Collins’ arms. Collins didn’t know what to do; didn’t know how to deal with this. Putting the cloth aside, he slid his hands down Angel’s body, closing his eyes against the tears as he felt how hot his skin had become. He grasped the bottom of Angel’s dress and carefully slipped it over his head, tossing it onto the floor and pulling him back against him. Anything to ease his pain even a little.

“That better, baby?” he asked, voice hoarse.

The dress lay exactly where he had tossed it. Collins hadn’t waited much longer before he had known he had to get Angel to the hospital. He’d known it was no ordinary fever.

He hadn’t been back to the apartment since.

Collins collapsed onto the floor, a choked sob spilling from him, unable to tear his eyes off his lover’s dress. The last thing he’d ever…

Without thinking about what he was doing, Collins untied his shoes. He needed to take them off. Angel didn’t like him wearing his shoes in the house. He had to take them off. Still, his gaze remained fixed on the dress as he tugged the shoes off, setting them aside. He sat like that for a long while, hugging his legs to his chest, just staring. Remembering. He barely even noticed the hot tears that streamed down his face.

“Angel,” he murmured, voice sounding hollow in the empty room.

Slowly, Collins crawled over to the couch, sitting on the floor in front of it and leaning back against it. He closed his eyes, not wanting to look at the dress anymore; but even just knowing how close it was, was too much for him.

“Too hot!”

Angel’s voice rang in his ear and he whimpered softly, opening his eyes to search for him. But the room was empty, just as it had been, and just as he knew in his heart it always would be. With shaking hands, Collins unbuttoned his shirt, slipping it off his body and letting it drop to the floor. It was too hot. Too hot!

“Collins…”

His body trembled as he tried to fight off the memories, even as his hands slid down his chest to his stomach, working at the fastenings of his pants. He slid them off smoothly, pushing them away from himself and curling into himself, rocking gently.

“You’ll be okay, Angel.”

“Angel,” he whispered, “Angel. Angel. Angel.”

Lifting his head, he looked over to the dress once more, so close to him. He could touch it, if he wanted to. It was so close. Angel’s dress. Angel.

Inhaling sharply, Collins snatched the dress off the floor, pulling it to him and cradling it against his chest. It smelled of Angel. His sweet Angel. The material was soft against his cheek as he inhaled his familiar scent, shuddering as the full reality of life without Angel came crashing down around him.

“No,” he breathed, burying his face in the dress.

He wanted him back. He wanted to hold him again, to touch him and to love him. To just be close to him. Anything. He needed him. Needed him so badly. He had never known he could hurt this much, or want something as much as he wanted Angel back.

Collins’ mind swam with images of Angel, and he was unaware of his actions as he slowly slid Angel’s dress over his legs. He looked down on it without really seeing it, and then stood, stiffly, pulling it over his hips and up over his chest. He slid the small, delicate straps over his forearms, and then stopped, suddenly realizing what he had done. His gaze dropped to the white, almost shimmering material, and he stared at it in awe, as if seeing it for the first time.

In a daze, Collins shuffled toward the bedroom, not looking ahead as he walked, for he knew the way so well. He looked only at the dress he was now wearing. He slid the straps higher up his arms, but they wouldn’t go over his shoulders. He was too big. Not like his Angel. Not like his small, beautiful Angel.

A sound of anguish fell from him as he threw himself onto the bed, wrapping his arms tightly around his own body, as if it was Angel. He could smell him. The dress still smelled of him, and in his grieving mind, he believed he could touch him. His hands ran over his sides as he held himself, fingering the soft material, imagining it was his lover.

“Don’t leave me, Angel. Please!”

He remembered the words he’d spoken, borne of an agony he didn’t know was possible as Angel went limp in his arms. He’d known Angel couldn’t hear him, but the words could not be kept back. He’d held them back while Angel struggled through his sickness, knowing that seeing Collins upset would only make him worse.

Now, he repeated those words again as he lay on their bed - his bed, now - clinging to his lover’s dress as he sobbed.

“Don’t leave me…”

But in his heart, Collins knew it was too late. His Angel was gone, and no matter how hard he tried, no matter how much he believed he could touch him, he could never have him back.

He was gone.

Even more!

2008-05-31T11:40:23Z

Title: A Christmas Wish
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 581
Rating: K+
Genre: General
Pairing: Angel
Summary: Angel had always been a hopeless romantic.
Notes: Kinda like a backstory.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

There was something magical in the air. He could just feel it. Angel had always been a hopeless romantic, always believing in true love and even love at first sight. But around Christmastime, all those feelings grew even stronger. Maybe it was because everyone seemed happier around this time of year, or maybe it was the memories of Christmas Eve nights drinking hot cocoa with Mama while he tried to stay awake to hear the sound of Santa’s reindeer on the roof. He’d never made it, but he remembered those nights so fondly.

But this year, there was something more, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on, but that told him this Christmas would be a special one. And he believed it. He didn’t have much, very little money or food, but he had enough, and he was happy. He had friends and he was healthy. He couldn’t ask for anything more. Except…

Before he left, he made a wish, just like his Mama had taught him when he was a little boy. That big, twinkling star was Santa’s star, and on Christmas Eve, good boys and girls could wish on it, and Santa would pick one wish to grant. Of course, he was older now, and he knew that wasn’t true, but he liked the idea still. It was such a romantic notion, that someone out there might grant him his wish. Closing his eyes, he sent his wish out, smiling to himself as he did.

The night was cold, and he pulled his thin coat more snugly around him as he walked down the sidewalk, toward his familiar drumming spot. There was another thing he liked about Christmas – people were much more generous than usual. It didn’t take long for him to lose himself in the rhythm of his beat, and before he knew it, people were beginning to drop change on his tub. He smiled and thanked each one, resuming his drumming once the coins were safely in his pocket.

He wasn’t aware of the time that had passed. Perhaps it had only been minutes, perhaps much longer. He always seemed to lose track of time when he was drumming. Over the beat of his sticks against the plastic tub, he heard a strange sound. His hands immediately stilled and he listened, but hearing nothing, he began to play once more. He wasn’t more than a few beats into his music when he heard it again. This time he was able to recognize it: the sound of someone in pain.

Without hesitation, he stood, packing up his things and following the sound. It led him down a dark alley, where he could see a figure huddled on the ground, coughing and moaning. As he grew closer, he could see the blood on his face and hands, and his concern for the man overrode any fear he may have had for his own safety.

“Oh my God, are you okay, honey?

Later that night, Angel slipped out of his bed and moved quietly to the window. For a long while, he simply gazed at the man in his bed, amazed by the night’s events. How could he fall so deeply in love with someone so quickly? But in his heart, he knew. Angel had always been a hopeless romantic. Looking out the window, into the night sky, he found that special star and whispered a thank you to whoever may have been listening for granting his Christmas wish.

So many fics!

2008-05-31T11:37:38Z

Title: Mistletoe
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 1094
Rating: K+
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Angel and Collins spend Christmas Eve together.
Disclaimer: Not mine.

“Hey! You get back here with that!” Collins cried, jumping out of his chair and instinctively heading after him. He’d been grading papers on the kitchen table and Angel had come out of nowhere, grabbed the one he’d been working on and run off with it. Collins hadn’t thought he was home, and was startled by the action, but recovered quickly, following his giggles into the living room.

Angel was never hard to spot; even in a crowded room, Collins’ eyes were immediately drawn to him. Today he looked so beautiful; he simply couldn’t take his eyes off him. He was wearing that same, sexy outfit he’d worn the first time he’d shown himself to Collins in drag and the outfit had the same effect on him as it had that night: he was speechless.

“Why are you grading papers on Christmas Eve, Collins?” he asked, dangling the paper in front of him. Collins reached for it, but he tugged it out of his grasp, laughing and moving a little farther away from him.

“It has to be done,” he replied with a little grin, advancing on Angel, hands outstretched in front of him.

“Today?” he asked, voice carrying a hint of a whine.

“Yes, today, baby. Why not?”

“Because it’s Christmas Eve!” he exclaimed, lowering the paper to his side and walking toward Collins, hips swaying seductively, “And,” he added, stopping directly in front of him, “Don’t you remember what else?”

Angel placed his hand on Collins’ chest, rubbing gentle circles there as he awaited his answer. He didn’t have to wait long, for it came to Collins in an instant.

“Our anniversary,” he said, a loving smile crossing his face.

“Right,” Angel smiled at him, standing on tiptoe to kiss his nose, “Are you really going to spend tonight grading papers?”

For the life of him, Collins couldn’t figure out why he’d been grading papers in the first place. He’d started planning for their anniversary back in the summer. So what on Earth was he doing grading papers tonight?

“No,” he told him, “I’m definitely not going to be doing that.”

Moving closer to him, Collins leaned in for a kiss. Angel’s arms coiled around his neck, and when their lips met, Collins felt shivers run down his spine; it felt like forever since he’d been able to kiss him. His own hands rested on Angel’s hips, and when they parted, he smiled down at him.

“Let’s celebrate,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to his hair and inhaling that familiar, intoxicating scent. Angel’s grin widened and he nodded eagerly, but before he could say anything, Collins spoke again. “Can I have that paper back now?”

Surprised by the question, Angel looked down at the paper in his hands, then back up at Collins, a mischievous grin on his face. “No,” he said simply, pulling out of his embrace and backing away from him.

“No?” Collins asked, feigning shock, “No?” he said again, advancing on Angel.

“Uh uh,” he replied, shaking his head, moving a little more quickly away from Collins.

Following him, Collins shook his head sadly. “That’s too bad, Angel,” he said, clasping his hands behind his back as he moved across the room, “Do you know what happens when little girls don’t give me my papers?” he asked, raising one eyebrow.

Angel shook his head, but his grin only grew wider as he passed through the bedroom door. Collins said nothing more, quickly closing the distance between them and pulling Angel down onto the bed. Caught off guard, the paper slipped out of Angel’s hands and he fell back on the bed in a fit of giggles as Collins’ hands found his sides, fingertips tickling him furiously.

“Collins!” he whined, between bouts of laughter, “Stop it!” he squirmed under him, delighted squeals passing through his lips.

“Give me the paper!” Collins demanded, laughing as he continued to tickle him. One hand unzipped his coat and slipped under his shirt to tickle his bare skin, producing even louder laughter from his lover.

“I don’t have it!” Angel protested, waving his hands in the air to show they were empty, “I don’t!”

Collins tickled him a little longer, loving the sounds he made, then stilled, sliding up his body and resting his weight on top of him. Angel’s giggles continued, even though he was no longer being tickled, but he soon calmed, meeting Collins’ loving gaze with his own.

“Look, Collins,” he murmured, “Mistletoe. Means you have to kiss me.”

Collins couldn’t remember putting mistletoe in the bedroom – or any decorations at all, for that matter, but he didn’t bother looking up. He couldn’t take his eyes off Angel.

“I don’t need an excuse to kiss you,” he whispered, voice husky. He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips gently against Angel’s, kissing him sweetly.

Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves to the kiss, hands fluttering over every inch they could reach, tongues exploring the familiar warmth of their mouths. Soft moans could be heard, pressed into the kiss as they lingered as long as they could, never wanting to part.

In time, Collins slowly pulled away, eyes still closed, resting his forehead against Angel’s.

“I love you so much, Angel,” he breathed.

“I love you too,” Angel’s voice sounded distant, but there was no mistaking the love that laced each word, “I miss you, Tommy.”

I miss you.

Collins opened his eyes, the sunlight streaming through the window making him squint. Instinctively, he slipped his arms around Angel, wanting to hold on to this moment, to kiss him again with that passion that had surrounded them.

His hands touched only cold sheets.

Abruptly, he sat up, looking around the room, trying to find him. Where had he gone?

Slowly, the memories came back to him, and he knew. He was alone. Angel was gone. Had been gone for two long, lonely months. Tears burned his eyes, but he fought them back, lying back onto the bed and staring up at the ceiling. At the mistletoe on the ceiling.

He hadn’t put that there.

Means you have to kiss me.

The dream came flooding back, so vivid he could still smell Angel’s beautiful scent, feel his lips tingle where Angel’s had pressed against him, hear his sweet voice.

I miss you, Tommy. I love you.

“Angel,” he breathed, “Miss you so much. Love you. I love you, my Angel,” he whispered, burying his face in the pillows as he let the tears fall.

More fic dump!!!

2008-05-31T11:35:11Z

This is part 4 of my Collins backstory. Takes place after Math.

Title: An Apology
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: Around 1000, I think
Rating: T
Genre: Angst
Pairing: Collins
Summary: Collins is forced to apologize.
Notes: More of Collins' backstory.
Warnings: Implied child abuse.
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

"Mr. Sanford, my son has something he'd like to say to you."

Matthias Collins was an imposing, intimidating man under any circumstances, and Avery Sanford looked up, startled at the intrusion, chalk hovering an inch away from the board where a half-finished equation was written. His eyes widened as he saw the man standing there, one large hand firmly gripping Tom Collins' upper arm in a way that was making the boy wince.

Tom had been suspended three days before for changing the grades of his classmates in Mr. Sanford's math class on the school computer, and wasn't due back to school until the next day, but his father had dragged him in early and brought him here, in front of his own class, to apologize for what he had done. Tom looked at the floor miserably, unable to meet anyone's eyes, already feeling humiliated by what he was about to do. Normally, he would never, ever, apologize for something like this, but he had already felt his father's wrath and didn't want to experience it again.

"Yes, Tom?" he heard Mr. Sanford say, and looked up to see his teacher smirking at him, as if he, too, knew what Tom was going to do, and how much it bothered him. His teacher seemed delighted by it. Tom's eyes narrowed, and he said nothing, unable to do so with his teacher looking at him that way. But his father's grip tightened on his already bruised arm and he whimpered softly, looking back up at his teacher and gritting his teeth.

"I'm sorry for changing the grades on the computer," he told him, flushing a bright red as he heard a few snickers from his classmates. Sanford's grin only grew, causing the anger to boil in him.

"And," his father growled, gripping his arm still tighter and shaking him slightly. Tom cringed, but refused to let any further sound of discomfort spill from him.

"And I'm sorry for correcting you in front of the class."

More laughter was heard, and Tom could feel the tears burning in his eyes, but forced them back. He was not going to cry. Not on top of everything else.

Avery Sanford grinned. The most self-satisfied smile Tom had ever seen and he averted his eyes, scowling down at the floor. He could not believe this was happening. His hatred for his father grew with each passing moment and he wanted nothing more than to get out of here.

"Very well," Sanford replied, "I accept your apology. And I expect there will be no more interruptions during class from now on."

Tom said nothing, but he didn't need to. His father said it for him.

"Don't worry, Mr. Sanford," he said, giving Tom's arm another squeeze, "He'll behave." Matthias gave his son a meaningful glare, one that Tom was all too familiar with, and the boy nodded, unable to do anything else. With that, Matthias turned on his heel and headed out of the classroom. Tom had no choice but to follow as he was dragged along by the arm, and he could hear the laughter echoing through the hallway as they made their way out of the school.

Fic dump

2008-05-31T11:28:43Z

Title: Desperation
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 911
Rating: M
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Every day was a struggle to survive.
Notes: A wee bit of an Angel backstory.
Warnings: Sex within
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

Living his life without knowing whether today would be the day his landlord finally decided he’d had enough of allowing him to pay only half of his rent at a time, or wondering if he’d have enough money to pay for food brought a sense of desperation that he’d never known he could feel. Every day was a struggle – should he give that bit of extra money to the landlord, or allow himself a second meal for the day?

With his options as grim as they seemed, he knew he needed more money. He couldn’t sacrifice what little food he managed to buy, and he certainly couldn’t end up on the streets. He knew the kinds of things that happened there, and simply refused to allow it to happen to him. But his options were limited. A high school dropout, his choice of employment wasn’t great to begin with, and when he did finally manage to find some menial job, it never lasted long. He was never really given a reason for why he was fired, but he soon noticed a pattern. He’d be questioned on the nail polish he wore, or someone would notice him glancing a little too long at a male customer or one of his coworkers. Then, within a day or two, he’d be without work again, many times without being paid for the work he’d already done.

And then he’d found a job they couldn’t fire him from for being gay. He still wasn’t sure how it had happened. One moment, he was looking for a job as a dishwasher at a dingy restaurant, the next the manager had taken him to talk to a friend of his. He hadn’t liked the way the man had looked at him, but he was desperate for work, and so he followed him to the basement, which was actually much better kept than the rest of the place. He was taken into a small room where a well-dressed man sat behind a small desk.

The conversation with the man was a blur to him, whether because he truly couldn’t remember it, or because he’d simply blocked it out. He’d known what the man was telling him, and had wanted to refuse, but he couldn’t. He needed the money. He needed to survive. And the money he was being offered would be more than enough. And so he’d found himself with a new job. If it could be called that.

He had learned very quickly how to please a man with his mouth. He knew just what to do to bring an orgasm on quickly and powerfully. He’d had to learn it, for the alternative was too harsh, too painful. He couldn’t do it night after night. So he had taught himself. And when the men came, that was what they came for. They’d heard about him, about what he could do with his mouth, and they were willing to pay extra for it. As dirty as it made him feel, the money kept his stomach full and a roof over his head.

And so it continued, and he brought countless men to their peak skillfully and quickly, until the day he knocked on his landlord’s door to give him the rent, only to find he’d skipped out on the tenants, and they were now officially squatters. Stunned, the first thing he did was quit his job. He’d managed to save a rather large sum of money, and with no rent to pay, he didn’t need any extra income. He could stop.

But tonight, he found himself settled between the legs of another man, his lips wrapped around his length as his tongue played over the sensitive skin. Only this time, he was in no hurry. He didn’t want this man to leave, wanted to draw out his pleasure. He felt fingers running through his short hair and looked up into those beautiful brown eyes, the ones he’d fallen in love with the moment he saw them. They looked down on him with such love and adoration, pleasure and desire so evident in their depths that he felt tears spring to his own.

Lowering his eyes once more, he focused on pleasuring him. His hands ran over the dark skin of his stomach and legs, and he heard him groan as he took him deep into his throat. His heart soared, happy for the first time to be bringing this kind of pleasure to someone. As his hips began to thrust up to meet his mouth, he knew he was close to his peak and smiled around him, drawing out his movements until he felt him tense, then release into his mouth with a long cry of his name.

He held him in his mouth as he came down from his climax, hands moving in comforting circles over his heated skin. In time, his breathing slowed, and he allowed his spent member to slip from his lips, moving up to lay beside him and allowing himself to be wrapped in his comforting arms. He felt warm lips pressed to his forehead, and sighed happily, snuggling closer to him.

“I love you, Angel,” was whispered against his hair, those beautiful words that washed away the painful encounters of the past and replaced them with a love he never thought he’d find.

“I love you, too, Collins,” he said softly, lifting his lips to meet his lover’s in a tender kiss.

FIC DUMP!!!!

2008-05-31T11:25:08Z

Just because I felt like it... Been away a long time, but kept writing and posting on ff.net. Now I wanna post here and see if anyone's still around and if maybe we can get this place up and running again! woo!

Title: Please
Author: Kermie
Feedback: Please
Words: 694
Rating: T
Genre: Angst/Tragedy
Pairing: Collins/Angel
Summary: Angel asks Collins for something he's not sure he can give.
Notes: I know these kinds of stories piss some people off, but give it a chance :)
Warnings: Character Death
Disclaimer: Don't own it.

"Please."

The word was spoken with a desperation Collins had never wanted to hear in his lover. The melodic tone of his voice was gone, replaced with a pain that tore through his heart each time he heard it.

"Angel... I..." His voice caught in his throat, tears burning his eyes as he fought not to let them fall. Angel was in enough pain already without needing to see his. He reached down and took both of Angel's hands in his, bringing them to his lips then pressing them against his cheek, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "I can't, Angel," he managed.

"Collins," he was begging him now, and Collins could feel his heart breaking, "Tommy... it hurts... please..."

Angel had been hinting at this for days now, as he grew sicker and weaker. The agony he was in was barely muted by the constant drip of morphine into his veins. They both knew he would not be leaving the hospital, but the difference was that Angel had accepted it and Collins had not. He didn't want to admit it, didn't want to have to face the reality of life without Angel. Couldn't face it.

And yet, he couldn't stand seeing the constant pain Angel was in, the desperation in his eyes. He'd never wanted to see his Angel like this, though he'd always known it was a possibility, it was the nature of their shared sickness. But now Angel was asking him to end it. To help him die, to bring death more quickly than the hellish disease was. He longed for release, and wanted it to be Collins who helped him. But how could he kill the one he loved? The only person he'd ever loved.

Opening his eyes, Collins looked down on him once more, feeling his stomach churn at what he saw in his eyes. With each moment, it seemed to grow worse. Angel didn't speak, but the question was still in his eyes, and Collins could not look away from him. What should he do?

In his heart, Collins already knew the answer. He needed to help him, to help him do this, to end his suffering, even if it would mean that his own suffering would grow. He didn't want Angel to be in any more pain.

"Tommy..." he whispered again, seeking an answer.

"Okay, Angel," he choked on the words, the tears finally spilling over and dropping onto their joined hands, "Okay."

Half an hour later, Collins was back in the hospital room, gazing down at the love of his life. A needle was in his hand, filled with the substance that would end the life of his Angel. He hesitated, looking at his pain-creased face, but seeing no doubt or uncertainty in his eyes. This was what he wanted.

Moving to the bed, Collins slipped in behind Angel, cradling his body against his chest. After a moment, he slipped the tip of the needle into the IV taped to his arm, depressing it and slowly injecting the liquid into his veins. A sob escaped him as the last of the fluid dripped into his lover's body, and he jerked the needle out of the IV, hurling it across the room and wrapping his arms tightly around Angel. His head dropped to his shoulder and he cried.

After what seemed like an eternity, but was likely only a few seconds, Collins felt a feather light touch to his cheek and opened his eyes to look at his love. Angel smiled at him, and Collins could see that for the first time in days, his pain was fading.

"I love you," Angel whispered to him, voice weak and distant.

"I love you too, Angel," Collins told him, pressing kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, his neck; anywhere he could reach, "So much. So much."

Angel's hand slowly fell from Collins' cheek to his side and he closed his eyes, resting his head against Collins' chest, and Collins knew that it was over. With one last breath, Angel uttered his final words, and then he was gone, leaving Collins alone with his grief.

"Thank you."

Alphabet City

2008-05-17T13:46:35Z


What's going on?
You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone. Alphabet City We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?
Who can join?
Alphabet City is open to writers 18 and older.
Characters wanted/needed
Any Original character, aged 15 and over who can possibly be found in an artist's slum in New York City is eligible and welcome, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. Canons:No Canons are available at this time. Please visit the Character Adoption Center
About the board/community
We've been running since May, 2006, solidly active every night. Since that time there have been over 150,000 posts and countless characters, OC and canon, set up on that board. We are a welcoming group of writers, who are always willing to work new people into our plots. In July of last year, we set up on phpBB to have freedom of expression. Each approved character is given his/her own subforum in the character information section, where backstories, photos, and other information may be stored. We boast a premium cbox which is usually quite active and friendly, photos of many of the mentioned locations, plus a newly opened cafepress store. Come and see, we're just the best RL RP on the net!
Important information
Rules Canon Information Character Adoption Center Admin contact Cafepress store

_illcoveryou @ 2008-04-12T08:48:00

2008-04-12T12:49:42Z


What's going on?
You're living in America at the end of the millennia. . . and you're not alone. Alphabet City We're in the year 1996 and the colorful residents of the East Village in Manhattan are facing the issues which challenge poor Bohemian artists in the mid-90s. Drug abuse, HIV, prostitution, starvation, death, life, and love. However, they find that they aren't alone, friends are all around, and there is always coffee to be drunk, issues to be discussed, and art to be created, good and otherwise. Come join our cast of canon and original characters, featuring a strong sense of community and creativity and find that you're not alone either.We began as a post canon Rent fandom game, but in the past two years have become a real life game which is set in New York's East Village. At the time, it was a grim slum, full of drug dealers, prostitutes, and poor bohemian artists. But beautiful things often come of darkness and our world is peopled with just such creative folk. The question is, is your character strong enough to flourish, or will he or she become another bleak statistic?
Who can join?
Alphabet City is open to writers 18 and older.
Characters wanted/needed
Any Original character, aged 15 and over who can possibly be found in an artist's slum in New York City is eligible and welcome, regardless of race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, etc. Canons:Benny Coffin is open and has a wife and new baby daughter waiting for him. </strong>Maureen Johnson is also open, and we have a very good Joanne.
About the board/community
We've been running since May, 2006, solidly active every night. Since that time there have been over 150,000 posts and countless characters, OC and canon, set up on that board. We are a welcoming group of writers, who are always willing to work new people into our plots. In July of last year, we set up on phpBB to have freedom of expression. Each approved character is given his/her own subforum in the character information section, where backstories, photos, and other information may be stored. We boast a premium cbox which is usually quite active and friendly, photos of many of the mentioned locations, plus a newly opened cafepress store. Come and see, we're just the best RL RP on the net!
Important information
Rules Canon Information Admin contact Cafepress store