Summary: Atobe decides Jirou needs to go back to Gakuto's room. Jirou angsts. They talk about relationship related things and come to awe inspiring revelations. Both of them decide to spend a little bit of time apart.
Set up:As we sort of jumped into this after a bit of random character babble, here's the set up. Atobe decided that since Jirou's one week sleeping in his room are up, he's sending Jirou back to Gakuto's room for the weekend. Jirou is upset by this, and spends a lot of time pouting and refusing to go to sleep. Atobe drags him into bed and that's where we start.
Atobe sighed lightly after having finally dragged Jirou into bed. The other youth had been acting strangely.. pouty... and for some reason, it didn't feel all that good. Was it because.. "Jirou... what's wrong?" he asked, sitting up and propping his back against the wall. "Is it because I want you to go back at Gakuto's room?" he chanced asking.
Jirou sighed, adjusting himself in the bed somewhat so that he could still be comfortable but wouldn't have to see Atobe's face. To be quite honest, even he wasn't all that sure why he was acting this way. But something about what Atobe had said hurt him, made him feel almost...rejected. "You could say that..." he murmured in response, absently picking at the edge of his pillow.
"Well, it /is/ that" Pretty nice guess. "...I told him it was for a week.. but look at how long it went." He was silent for a while, then slowly snaked up an arm -his left- around Jirou's shoulders. "I'm not sure.. about what's happening to me. I know there has to be some feeling.. especially directed towards only you for now, Jirou... but let's try to go on... on our own for a while. Is it such a bad idea to try and find out just what it is, and if it's really there?" Sometimes, he did speak with words that belonged to an adult more than a child.
Jirou frowned, not exactly sure what he should feel at Atobe's words. While he was somehow glad to hear that Atobe actually felt something for him beneath the layers of ego, he didn't exactly relish the thought of spending time away from the other boy. HE had somehow grown accustomed to him, and never let it be said that Jirou was not so stubborn as to cling to those things he liked. "I'm not sure..." Jirou replied eventually, shifting slightly as he suddenly felt uncomfortable being in such close quarters with Atobe but still not wanting to move away.
"Not sure of what, Jirou...? Shouldn't we be more careful? I don't think love and lust are that different.. so shouldn't we try to get a clearer view or our feelings? Are yours already that clear...?" he asked, looking at the other's back.
Jirou had now taken to rather intently picking at the edges of his pillow. Everything that Atobe was saying made sense. In fact, it made way too much sense. HE knew he felt something for the other boy, or else he wouldn't have kissed him back that one night. However, what that something was had yet to be said. Frowning, he turned himself, looking directly at Atobe, pillow still held to his chest. "What about you? What about your feelings?" he asked, suddenly curious.
"I told you, didn't I...? I think I need time to find out... just what it is. You know what you feel it seems, but I." yes, through his perfection and greatness, "..I can't put a name on it yet"
"Ah..." Jirou said, looking slightly dejected. Frowning he hugged his pillow closer, not looking exactly happy with Atobe's reply, but there was really nothing he could do. "Okay then..."
"..I know it's not the answer you wanted, Jirou.." Atobe murmured, now looking away as well. ".but I think it's better for me to do that.. and also, it's better for you too. After all, would you truly be happy if it just.. wasn't love at all that I risk giving you?" he asked.
"I dunno..." Jirou mumbled. At this point in time he wasn't exactly sure about anything that he wanted. He had all of a sudden realized that they had both been running into this at a pace that seemed entirely too fast. And while he didn't mind it, as Atobe now pointed out, he wasn't exactly sure whether this would bode well in the future.
"...sorry, Jirou.." Atobe breathed out. "..but isn't it better like this? If we know we do feel something special for each other after a while... no one will be able to take it away from us" That's what he seems to believe.
"But what if we don't?" Jirou asked, keeping his voice perfectly even as he still avoided meeting Atobe's eyes.
"..hm.. well.. then maybe it will be for the best? Our mistake won't be dragged on.. until we both are hurt beyond repair, right?" he reasoned. Atobe was like that.. a being of reason. At least right now he seemed to be that.
"Atobe..." Jirou said, glancing up at him, "You make too much sense. It's eerie."
"I just... wouldn't like to be hurt that way... and you wouldn't either... right?" Atobe turned towards him and ran a hand through those corn-colored curls. "..so let's decipher our feelings first"
"right..." Jirou agreed, sounding only somewhat reluctant. He let Atobe touch him, mostly because one of the things he was certain of was that he liked the feeling. His grip loosened on his pillow as he frowned slightly before asking, "But...can I still stay in your room?"
"...well..." he wasn't sure. Should Jirou stay.. or go..? "They do say absence makes the heart grow fonder... do they not?" Atobe suggested.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Jirou asked, frowning slightly, not exactly understanding what Atobe was trying to get at.
"Can't you guess?" Atobe smiles lightly. "It means that if you're far away, and it becomes painful, then it is because you really want to be close to that person and really feel something special. If you always end up thinking about that person and wishing to be at his or her side, then.. you do have what is called love" One may wonder where he learned that...
For a moment Jirou contemplated this concept before he shook his head and muttered, "Whoever came up with these ideas must have been a bunch of stupid masochists..."
"..in any case.... stay for tonight" Atobe slowly dragged him so they laid on the bed. "..it is late" he explained. "...we'll see if we both are masochists...."
"I'm smarter than that," Jirou replied, sticking his tongue out as he moved his pillow to rest in its rightful spot under his head and tentatively put his arms around Atobe's waist. "But...I'll go back to Gakuto's room...and I'll...think on it."
Atobe didn't protest at that, making sure his right hand was out of harm's way before using his left to curl around Jirou's shoulders. "..good night, then.. and.. thanks"
"Thanks...?" Jirou blinked, glancing up at Atobe. "Thanks for what?"
"For giving both you and .. time to think" Atobe restrained a yawn to answer.
"Ah..right..." Jirou responded, sounding equally sleepy as he tucked his head in neatly underneath Atobe's chin.
And with a slow out take of breath, the other youth threw himself into sleep's hands. Maybe tomorrow evening he would notice a missing presence in his bed... but only the future could tell us.