I am terrible at updating this thing. Anyways, classes started on the 14th again so I am back at school. yay! I have English 2, Design Drawing and Visual Communication. I hate my design drawing class because I hate drawing people and body parts and that's what we do in that class. We have a model and we draw them. I hate it with a passion. Anyways, I also have a new addiction. SURPRISE!!! lol. The movie "Twilight" comes out on December 12th and up until a few weeks ago I wasn't aware that it was from the book. I am out of the loop I guess. Basically months ago I saw a picture from the movie and just decided that I wanted to see it even though I knew nothing about it. Then Bill and Kristen started talking about it and told me about the books. I felt like a dimwit. I see those books everywhere but I had no clue what they were about. I was super stoked when I found out it was about a girl who falls in love with a vampire. I mean I have been in love with vampires since I was very young. It started with the silent film actresses I guess. They always looked kinda dead because they were so pale and had such dramatic eyes, and that made them more beautiful to me. They looked dead and beautiful. Not long after that I just fell in love with vampires, so hearing about these books just made me excited. So I blew through Twilight in 3 days and today I finished New Moon, again 3 days. Now I am waiting for bill to finsh Eclipse so I can start tomorrow. I reserved my copy of Breaking Dawn the other day when I bought my Borders Exclusived Twilight Calendar. So I am currently completely obsessed with this series. I have never just devoured this many 500+ page books. I will have the whole series done by next week. I can't put them down and the movie I have been waiting months for is even more exciting. December 12th can't come fast enough, and neither can the end of this quarter. I hate Design Drawing! Anyways I will leave you with the picture that made me fall in love with Twilight.
ex.oh
Justina

Throughout the course I've had livejournal, I've gathered over 100 friends on my list. Within that time frame, we exchanged beautiful words, screen names, and/or Facebook links. Some of you know very well that you're safe. For the rest of you, that wasn't the case. For starters, it wasn't about who left the most comments. The real reason was based on that either you hardly update, you left livejournal, or we couldn't connect well enough to establish any true connection. I'm sorry, but this is why I'm cutting you.


Were you cut?

annainnycalps, arlieth, classiquearmor, cloudsinmycafe, carmen_angel, cpb1220, dana_son, divinelv, eclipsepixie, enchanteds, engagement, fevermaps, heartscollided, heavensto_betsy, heavyonmymind, her_lovelyheart, highlandroad, hipstomp, logicalharmony, loorrrnnnnaaaaa, marsadie, mistakeswemake, ohsummerstars, peacelovejuicy, persephassa, screamingbitch, seamstressrusse, theapplicant, thatgirljade, unicorncake, unmailedletters, upperclassheart, vanille, x3justsurrender


If you're still out there and saw that you were cut, please remove me from your list and I wish you the best of luck in all you do. If you want to be re-added back, let me know. Thanks! ♥

Atlantis is back!
I will always see Weir as the true leader, but this week, Atlantis had that 'old school' feel about it. All the little details about city life and Teyla getting to do something (!) and the real spread of characters and sets used (and getting to see more of Atlantis - they're still serving a hot breakfast at 10am?)...it made me like it again.

Woolsey is.... in my view, a better character for this position than Carter (And I am iin now way a Carter-hater). With Carter, they were unwilling to let her be any less than perfect and if you are unwilling to let a character fail, then you're unable to add any depth, or growth and you have a very flat and boring character and storyline very quickly. With Woolsey they have the chance to really explore him and flesh him out. He's almost 'the audience' - totally new, totally out of his element. From what I see, he's a brilliant bureaucrat and perhaps, is better suited to evaluating leaders than actually being one and so, having to take that position will really help him to grow as a character and *that's* what stories are all about.
It's also kinda refreshing to see people have to ask for permission, it seemed as though, for a while, there was no leadership, no 'checks and balances' and that tension between 'why can't I just go if I think it's a good idea' and 'sometimes, those rules aren't going to work here' will hopefully play out really nicely. (It doesn't hurt that I think Robert Picardo is a very talented actor).

I do, however, miss the old semi-circle table. It was pretty. Oh well, the new shots of city life are almost an acceptable trade-off. On that note, this week's cinematography was great but didn't have the 'cinema' feel of the first two episodes of this season. Not that I'm complaining, but 5x02 and even more so, 5x01 had a 'huge production budget' feel about them - did they blow it all already?

Hoping for more wicked-good episodes.

sometimes, in periods of awkward silences, I can hear myself subconsciously narrating that given moment in my head.  while some people have pictures to remind themselves of certain parts of their lives, i have words.  and maybe that's why it's so easy for me to clearly remember certain bits of conversation, even if it has been two, three years.  sometimes i feel like I'm alone in that, you know.  Remembering.  And it's quite sad because it almost makes the memories nonexistent.

in these mental narrations, there are always two endings.  the wanted ending, and the actual ending, and these two are never one in the same.   I tend to be more engrossed over the ending of things, and less interested in the middle and the beginning -and I guess its ironic, because my life is nothing but a bunch of loose ends.  Like friendships.  And my writing. (I don't even know if there's such a thing as an 'unfinished friendship' but I certainly feel like that category fits certain people in my life.)

I just...I get so caught up in wanting to..get what I want.  And it's regardless, whether or not I rush into it without much thought or plan it meticulously; more often times than not, I end up lost, stuck in a dead end.  So I just quit, instead of trying to find a way out.  And it's just a vicious cycle that is one of the main reasons why almost everything in my life is unfinished. 

I guess that makes me the worst kind of dreamer.  The one who has all these big dreams, these grand dreams, and the potential yet lacks the motivation and the will to see it through.  To actually make it happen.  To find a way to make it work (and to not panic) ESPECIALLY when things don't go as planned.

ON ANOTHER NOTE: I don't know why but it is so damn hard for me to communicate what it is exactly that I need, or am feeling at the moment - at least, in complete honesty.  There's something about saying these things that makes me feel so.  Small. Selfish. Needy. And I hate that.  And I get it, I do, that this is something you have to do--something you have to talk about if you don't want to get pushed around.  You have to let people know what you need in order to get it, because they have no other way of knowing.  No one can read minds. It doesn't stop me from wishing it was possible, though.  I still find it hard saying things as simple as I miss you.  I almost always feel like I'm setting myself up for a catastrophic embarrassment, on the rare occasion that I do end up saying it. 

 new name.
peripheryy

hope to see you there, just comment on the first post. 
this journal will be kept for communities.

So today, I basically bought a bunch of bras/underwear from target.
And the guy at the register was really cute.
His ears were gauged a little. Cool.
But my mom was being like all embarassed that a boy was checking out my braaas.
She kept looking at me and then looking at him and saying, 'Oooh my' under her breath.
And I mean there was only three. Like dude.
So then I was embarassed that she was embarassed that he was embarassed.
It was just a huge embarassmentfest, and I wanted to disappear for the first time in a few months.
I also got a bunch of college shit, some clothes, and a new purse. :D
It's big, and converse, and black, and the plainest thing you'll ever lay eyes on.
So I think I'm going to buy some pins to put on it and stuff.
That sounds good.
K bye.

new stuff added ; large-26

so I decided to search all the phobias that I have;

Ankylophobia- Fear of immobility of a joint.
Atelophobia- Fear of imperfection.
Atychiphobia- Fear of failure.
Catagelophobia- Fear of being ridiculed.
Decidophobia- Fear of making decisions.
Dishabiliophobia- Fear of undressing in front of someone.
Genophobia- Fear of sex.
Soteriophobia - Fear of dependence on others. [except my parents for money and shelter.]


Eh, phobias are so exaggerated. I hate when people think they're sink in the head cause they're uncomfortable with something. People these days.  

 I'm so sorry I didn't write to you in like.. forever! It's not the same without you, Mr Blog.<3 I feel so female-friend deprived, cause normally, I'd be telling her everything I tell you. lol. Such a lonely case.

Anyways, my vacation was way better than I expected. I thought I'd dread it, I thought it would feel too long, and I thought it would just be a tad bit awkward and boring at times. But it wasn't at all, I love my family more than anything. My father is the most funniest man alive, he cracks the most corniest jokes, yet somehow, gets everyone rolling on the floor laughing. Ha, I wish I was like him. <3 Oh, and not to mention the highlight of the entire vacation - me and my brother actually bonded?! Yea. I know. Who would've ever thought I'd open up to him? Or vice versa? It was nice though, even though it teared me up a bit when I found out a little about my family, and their determination to do the best for us.

Which brought me to a point where I felt this strong need to do everything I can for them. I mean, come on, I'm almost 17, it's time I grow up. It's time I do things for them instead. It's time that I make them feel like they did a decent job at raising their kids. Sure it won't be easy, it'll be lots of work, lots of sucking up my annoyedness, lots of sucking up to them in general. But it's worth it. It's the least I can do.

And step one is getting rid of Nana.

Today was the first day I saw Brandon in more than two weeks! Ahhh, it was crazy. I missed him so much. And I missed his sister, Alyssa, too. They're such awesome people! He gave me a cute necklace<3 I gave him a cute photo album that we should fill up. We talked, hooked up...and yeah, it got a little further than usual, but it didn't go too far. I didn't let it. Not sure if I did the right thing or not, cause yeah, it made the situation a little uncomfortable, but I don't want to look back and feel like I was forced to do it. I want it to be something that just went with the flow, and that I personally wanted to. Maybe there is no guarantee that I would want to eventually, but at least feel comfortable with it, you know? Eh. It's such a complicated situation, and I would rather talk to a female about it. But yeah, as for now, we're great. I love him, and he seems to really care for me, so we're great.

At the moment, I feel very content with my life. You know, slowly things may start getting better. I may actually start to slowly go for what I want. You know, it won't be easy, but.. it's worth it.

Till next time, love! <3

i poured a beer on him last night. nothing ever felt so great and out of my element.

In the summer of 1998, The X-Files: Fight the Future came out while I was on Tour, so I didn't get to see it opening weekend. I came back and saw it about 3 weeks after it opened. The theatre was about 3/4 full and when the opening credits played, people started clapping. It was fun to experience the show with an audience, instead of curled up in my room like I usually did. I came out of the theatre wanting to see it again and again, counting down the time until it came out on video (yeah, that's right - I said video!).

( This was not that movie )



Well, I had to come home and post about the movie while it was still fresh in my mind. Now I'm off to do some shopping :)

Dear INTERNET


anyways BATMAN BATMAN BATMAN BATMAN


Dear Heath

I miss you

Love

Jamie


*goestofindbatmanicons*

My George Michael concert is tonightttttttttttttttttttttttt!!!1

I don't mind staying at home on a Friday night to watch a season of One Tree Hill while eating mac & cheese. It would be nicer though, if I had someone with me to watch it with.