secret diaries

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T23:35:00

2008-08-30T06:36:28Z

Well
i'm new here.
I'm not exactly sure what to do. I've never joined a community before..
I'm currently 5"3 and 110 pounds :(
recently I lost ten pounds and it took a lot of will power and time.
My goal weight is 105 and I think I'm almost there
I just wish I could be more happy with my results.

ugh

2008-08-30T04:31:20Z

sorry about the whiteout, didn't realize the background was gray. better- better?

hey :)

2008-08-30T04:29:47Z

i'm a newbie to livejournal. my ed is basically ana fasts and restrictions, and mia purging, but i'm definitely not thin enough to count as anorexic, and i really really suck at purging. i need support from people who won't judge. and i need to lose some effing weight. successful fast yesterday, but then today i binged a shitload and couldn't get myself to throw up. i'm going to white out the biggest triggers, but can someone please fill me out on how this group feels about triggers?

Recap of the summer.

2008-08-30T04:13:16Z

After an ongoing battle with binging and purging, a war with the mirror and scale, lots of parties with cake and other tempting treats, weight going up and down more times than ever before, I have only lost about 3.6 pounds total this summer. My highest weight this summer was 117.6. My lowest was 110. My weight right now is 114.

...

I just feel so unaccomplished. I could have and SHOULD HAVE lost more. This semester at school I'm going to do things right. Lose 14 pounds. I'm a transfer student this year, starting on a brand new campus where people don't know me (except some people I went to high school with, but they'll ignore me no doubt). Losing 3-5 pounds each month shouldn't be hard at all.

Height: 5'4"
Start weight (as of August 29th): 114
GW1: 110
GW2: 105
GW3: 100

Ultimate Goal: see double digits on the scale once more

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T21:27:00

2008-08-30T02:28:07Z

what kind of cardio is most effective: jogging on the treadmill, stairstepper, or exercise bike?

we have our choice in my wellness class after we finish strength training.

heya

2008-08-30T01:41:02Z

how much could i lose in 5 days by just having water and around 300-400 cals a day?
with intense exercise aswell of course.

xox

heathy progress?

2008-08-30T00:09:56Z

last time i posted here a few weeks ago, i was 108 pounds, straight out of "recovery". yucky. my longterm goal is 100 pounds, but not below. i think thats a relatively healthy weight for a 16 year old girl whos 5'1". lowest ive been recently was around 80 pounds, three months agoish? im sill going to the shrink, but ive graduated from needing a dietition. ive lost one and a half pounds since then, from eating 2200 calories a day, as a pose to the 3000 a day i was eating. im so proud of myself for not once starving myself.

anyway, i need a car, badly.
buy my stuff? ask me for pictures and more info if your intrested in anything :]
oh, and everythings just make an offer, im so desperate right now that ANYTHING will be considered.

what i have:
AUTHENTIC tweed coach purse(small) retailed $228, i purchased it from the coach store, and im 100% positive its real.
citizens of humanity skinny jean pants, light blue size 25, anywhere from 30-32" inseam, retailed $160
marc jacobs tanktop, size 4, gold and peachy colored.
kimchi and blue(urban outfitters) cable knit "sweater" mini skirt, size xs, retailed $48
luella for target blazer, its a navy blue color with some white stitching and intresting red blue and green buttons, size small
h&m kids jeans size 11-12y, fit like a 00 or 24, but theyre shorter, around 28" inseam. perfect for all you petite gals ;], retailed $30, worn twice. (i gained weight before i got a chance to wear these)
grey bullhead jeans venice skinny, size 00 short, worn ten times TOPS, retailed $40
silver jeans, light wash size 25, they were flarred, but i had them altered into straightlegs, for that "boyfriend" jean look. retailed around $70

things i might sell if the offer is good:
abercrombie kids jeans, medium wash flared makenzie jeans, size 14 slim
abercrombie kids jeans dark wash flared makenzie jeans, size 14 slim
BRAND NEW wax jeans size 0 skinnys, in both magenta and black. retailed $42, and NEVER WORN, the tags are still attatched.
delias morgan skinny extreeme dark wash, size 00 short, worn twice, retailed $40

again, i dont expect to get nearly as much back as i paid for the designer stuff, ask for pictures and such and make offers, ANYTHING will be considered :]

hello. :)

2008-08-29T21:50:50Z

hi! i'm taylor, kinda new to livejournal. i saw that they had some pro ana communities on here so i decided to join. i just need some encouragement and support right now.

my stats-
height:5'3
cw:123
hw:130
lw:110
gw:115
2ndgw:100

X-Posted

2008-08-29T19:25:08Z

I came home and had 4 crackers-70 calsOk so this is during French. We had to to some dialog with a partner then talk we could talk (in english) for a while. (JSYK-I dont even know this girl!We where just partners and sit by each other.)

Danille-Hey

me-hey

*Silence....*

Danille-So what did u have for lunch?

Me-Oh i didnt have lunch.

Danille-Omg! Are you anorexic?

Me-*no response*

Her-I dont like anorexics. *notice she does not say why*

Me-"They" can't help it though!

Her-Actually they can....But if you are sorry

WTF? I didnt want to talk to her the rest of the class. Ok just so many things! its like She didn't even give me a reason Why she doesnt like "them" And its like HELLO! PEOPLE JUST DON'T COME OUT AND SAY THAT SO HOW WOULD SHE KNOW!UGH. I hated my school they all put people into groups. Its not right.

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T19:56:00

2008-08-29T18:57:56Z

200 calories
thats it for the day
YAY.
x

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T10:50:00

2008-08-29T17:52:53Z

cw - 150
gw - 115

but being reasonable would be losing 25lbs at the moment
preferrable gw by bf is none

i feel if i lock myself up in my room, it helps to stay away from temptations of eating.

well, as of now.

2008-08-29T17:48:27Z

my body is feeding off of it's own fat.
12 hours in.
I can do this.

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T13:40:00

2008-08-29T17:42:24Z

Does anyone have the problem when they don't eat a whole lot or fast and then eat something, they have stomache issues? It happens to me all the time and it's not like I suddenly go eat Taco Bell or anything. I eat normal type things. Is there anything I can do to correct this? Will organic foods be easier on my stomache? Will cutting out certain foods that contain certain ingredients help this? It's rather annoying.

yay

2008-08-29T16:56:04Z

todays gone okay
ive had 3 bottles and 2 glasses of water, 1 cup of tea, 1 sip of coke and 2 of relentless
and im not hungry in the slightest.
C:
tonight - SOUP!

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T12:22:00

2008-08-29T16:23:35Z

its been forever since i've posted here
my life has been so hectic
we got an apartment in mid july.
i love it.
i had a job i loved
but i just wasn't getting paid nearly enough.
i met some cool people
gave up on hanging out with them for the sake of my relationship...

since june 21st when i came to delaware i've lost 9 lbs.
i just don't see it.
im right now going between 124 and 126.

i'm always broke so i never eat, its a nice thing but it sucks too.
sucks cuz i have no idea how i'm gunna pay my rent & electric bill.
sucks cuz my boyfriend couldnt afford to get me more then a card for my 19th bday (sunday)
sucks cuz i miss my friends in ny
sucks cuz delaware's lame as hell.

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T17:06:00

2008-08-29T16:07:09Z

I. fucked. up.

Well, at least its 5pm now and I can just concentrate on binging AGAIN and just being sensible... well, whatever sensible is in my messed up head.....

_______feathers @ 2008-08-29T06:06:00

2008-08-29T11:06:16Z

Today i'm starting again. These past few days I've binged like no fucking other. I'm going to make up for that now.

B - coffee (50) 5 sugar snap peas (5)
L - 1 cup Sugar snap peas (30)
D - I might skip it.
T - 85 cals.

I weight myself on saturday (maybe). I'm scared. I'm terrified of scales, but its punishment for binging. I'll have to deal with the number.

I really think you guys should try sugar snap peas. Very few calories, and VERY sweet! Sugary - as the name says.

well, I'm up

2008-08-29T10:31:34Z

and regretting the ~~two bowls of cereal~~ last night after my 50 minute jog. It popped into my mind walking back and I kept thinking no. no. no. no. but it wouldn't disappear. I stuffed my face. I was going to purge but my mom was half awake. I'm a mess.

day 1 of my liquid fast. I'm thinking I'll just have soup tonight, it's 15 cals per tsp of chicken flavouring or whatever. i bet it's terrible for you though.
hmmmm.

I can't find my phone anywhere for those that have been texting me, so I'm sorry if I'm not replying!

I want to weigh myself today but I'm scared.

happy evian day.

2008-08-29T09:17:29Z

im starting a liquid fast

as my other fasts usually go completely gaaaaaaaaay, im going to set myself a goal of ONE DAY.

haha

and if i can carry on tomorrow too, then yeahh.

my mums going out for her 1year anniversary meal with my stepdad tonight,

so, i can just have soup (:

and ive got town later, so no one will pay much attention to what i eat, unless my friends go schiz' like they did the other day.

ee, it was so awkward.

they kept making really bitchy comments, and it made me reconsider whether they really are my friends or not

i mean, yeah they might be concerned, but even so, leave meee alonee.

but yeah, sticking to evian all day.

wish me luck!

C: C: C:

peace&love,
think thin, ladieeez!
laura xxxxx

$503

2008-08-29T09:02:04Z

I spent $503 on a 2 year gym membership

I hope I used it

but more importantly i hope i see results

i had to do it..cus now i'll feel guilty to have wasted the money if I don't use it

diets didn't work...physical exercise

man oh man

2008-08-29T05:47:18Z

damnit, its a lot harder to take your own advice than to give it. ugh!
i guess this is the naughty side to people.. wanting to rebel? haha. then why cant i be bad and rebel against food???? jeeeez!

I just purged.

2008-08-29T02:11:36Z

gajdgkhk today

I ate half a _ _ _, thats around 250-300 calories.
and then 3 slices of _ _ _ _ _ (aggggg) which is around 400 calories per slice.
fuck. and I'm up to 110.

and I just purged another half of a blt and a bowl of cereal.
water fast til tuesday starting now.

has anyone tried ritalin?
let me know. I might get it tomorrow for my fast.

thanks girlies, i love you all.

_______feathers @ 2008-08-28T19:28:00

2008-08-29T00:30:44Z

i got prescribed adderall a few hours ago. i'm excited because not only does it decrease my appetite...but i'll actually be productive! hooray for not having to take other people's anymore

EVERYONE IN THIS COMMUNITY

2008-08-28T23:02:42Z

report sarahsilverman.

Her entries and posts are a bunch of spam/shit.

thank you.

Christina Ricci is going to be doing Anorexia Counseling..

2008-08-28T22:10:48Z

Christina Ricci is looking to begin a new career on the side of her acting... She's taking her personal battle with anorexia during her teen years and turning it into a positive.
She wants to become a counselor for girls who are struggling with eating disorders. Christina has even registered for a series of online courses to become certified.
A source close to the actress says, "Christina went through hell and back growing up. For years she struggled with her self-esteem, so she knows how hard it is for young girls."
The source added that Ricci hopes "to learn how she can help them get better without having to go through all the pain she did as a child."
This is such an amazing thing for Christina to do. She's been in the business for so long, and has come so far. We love that she's using her notoriety for a cause that's close to her heart.
source ( http://www.pro-thinspo.com/christinaricciindexpage.html )