honestlyyy

[	Mood	|	determined	]
[	Music	|	new dcfc!	]

Hi guys...
I haven't posted in a while. It's embarassing, how badly I've been doing lately. If I had actually just done something about the weight I gained back in March, instead of wallowing for all of April, I could have undone the damage by now... and then some. Gahhh I'm so stupid.

Updated Stats:
H: 5'8"
CW: 126
HW: upper 140s
LW: 117
GW1: 116
LTGW: 110

This week was decent. I've been restricting to about 800 cals a day (I know it's high but I've got to start somewhere), and running every night. There's a track in the park across the street from my apartment, and now that the weather's starting to get nice, I've had more motivation to run. I've been doing 16 laps / 4 miles every night, and my goal is to up that to 20 laps / 5 miles by the end of next week. I'm also trying to stop purging... which isn't going as well. I purged after lunch today at work. I REALLY need to stop purging in general, but especially at work. 

Umm so tomorrow I'm bringing a cup of Breakstone cottage cheese & fruit (140 cals) for lunch, NOT PURGING, and then hopefully figuring out a way to avoid dinner with my boyfriend. I'm spending the night at his place, and then heading home to see my family for the rest of the weekend... ughhh that's gonna be tough, too. 

Sorry for the long rant.. about nothing. I'm boring :/
Does anyone have a BlackBerry??? I have unlimited data... so yeah, if anyone wants a text/support buddy, my pin is 245F926B   :]

1inthemorning

ive decided to start eating low-carb but i was wondering how many grams of carbs is considered low-carb? i know absoloutely nothign about carbohydrates so i dont know whats too much and whats too little. any insight would be fab :) and to those who are on a low-carb diet, could you post an example of what you usually eat? thanks a bunch, loves.

dg_love

So much for the mature attitude I was showing earlier.
I binged.
And it was pretty bad.

At least it'll give me incentive to fast tomorrow, maybe Saturday as well. I don't think it was over 3500 cals so technically, realistically, I can only have gained pretty much a lb, maybe one and a half. I know the scale doesn't really work like that though...I don't think I'll weigh myself tomorrow. And hopefully I'll be the same on Saturday morning. 

I'm so scared that I'll always be fat.
I really am.

And yet I know that when I move out, when all this temptation is gone from me, it'll be so much easier to lose weight. But I can't wait around for that.

Tomorrow = fast.

mscolazero

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SOo..started my morning with coffee~~~and yogurt....gonna spend my day with my dad soo ...ill probably be able to sucker lunch out of him...veggies, fruit and a protein~~........

just_noticeable

So whoever came up with the idea of freezing non fat yoghurt is my hero. I could marry you right now and have tiny weeny yoghurt loving babies. Non fat yoghurt is kinda icky when eaten normally but dear god as a frozen treat it is heaven. It's taken me half an hour to eat less than a 1/4 of it and for only 70 cals I'm ecstatic. Normally yoghurt is too much of a hassle... too much gets on my spoon at one time... I don't like feeling like I'm almost drinking my food etc and yet I love the taste of it. Now it actually feels like I'm eating something and I am able to completely control how much I eat at one time + I can make this last for at least an hour and a half and that is perfect :D.

I may have read about the frozen yoghurty thing on someones private journal but I know we all frequent the same communities so to whoever it was THANK YOU!!!

xx

dg_love

So...today is Day 2 of my fast and I'm finding it surprisingly easy. Apart from a short period of time yesterday when I would have killed for carbs (but I didn't have any) I haven't been finding it too hard to not eat. It might help that I'm drinking lots of water. Yesterday was 3 litres I think, and I'm planning on somewhere near the same number again today. 
Anyway I lost 2lbs. =]
Hopefully I can keep it up till Friday.

Tomorrow's our school's Sports Day but I dunno if I'll go. Because we're 6th years (final exam year) we don't have to do anything, like we can just lie out on the grass or whatever, but we're still expected to go. The thing is, I know if I go I pretty much won't get any work done, whereas if I stay at home I probably will. Also it's a non-uniform day and I have no idea what to wear. =/ ALSO it's a half day so it ends at 1pm, and if I stay at home chances are I won't start working till 1 anyway.
I might just go anyway and take the break, but I'm not sure yet. 

How are you girls doing? =]
<333

ultraneondreams

It is my 21st birthday today.

I weighed myself this morning and the scale said I was 160.2 lbs. I know that is really up there but I'm actually down a few pounds.
I really want to focus on losing some weight because being in the 160s is the highest I have ever been. I was stuck in the 140s for a long time. My lowest weight was 129. I looked good :)

I need to remove food from my life because I have a major binging (I have never purged though) disorder. I love all foods. I'm not too picky at all. It can get out of control like it's a drug addiction.

However I'm a diabetic and I don't think it's good for me to fast. I should eat something every 4 hours. That's probably good for my metabolism as well. Plus, I believe the more people restrict the harder they fall. If I didn't eat at all I would probably give it up in a day. I don't have the type of discipline.

However it is my birthday and I know that my family, a friend and I are going out to night. We are going to Applebees after some shopping. We are going to share the appetizer sampler, I'm going to drink my first cosmo (or whatever pretty drink catches my eye), and I'm sure the staff will end up singing me a a song and bring out a little cake. It could be worse. At least it's all shareable food. I'm gonna enjoy it. I'm 21! 

Other than the occasional dinning out excursions (I know my mom and I are going for chinese this weekend for a birthday/mother's day celebration) I do plan to eat very little. 
An apple for breakfast.
Veggies for lunch. 
Soup and crackers (only two) for dinner at the dining hall. 
Other than that the only food I have in my dorm room are pickles.

I think i would like to keep track through the weight watchers (what are people's opinions on that?) diet because I usually freak out over counting calories.
My doctor wants me to count carbs when I eat for diabetes reasons.

My friend whom I share a bathroom with has tons of junk food in her room and doesn't eat much of it. She is gonna need to lock me out because I get so out of control. That would be helpful of her to do that actually.

So that's my life right now. Thanks for listening and I would like to update everyday is I can. I want to do this. 
I want to lose 60 lbs.