lightbird ([info]lightbird777) wrote in [info]30_memories,
@ 2007-03-31 21:21:00
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Current mood: blah
Current music:Portuguese Polyphony
Entry tags:mulan

Never Forget You (Mulan, Shang/Mulan, Theme #10)

Title: Never Forget You
Author: lightbird
Theme: #10, I’ll Miss You
Fandom: Mulan
Pairing: Shang/Mulan
Rating: T
Summary: Alternate universe setting, continuation of this fic. Previous chapter is here.
Disclaimer: Disney owns the characters from the animated movie and the legend belongs to the Chinese people. I just have them to manipulate and play with for these 30 challenges.

*******

Three years ago he’d left, not because he wanted to but because he was presented with an opportunity that he couldn’t pass up. They’d been seeing each other for a long time, though no arrangement had been made, and they cared very much for one another. Unfortunately the relationship never went anywhere. Circumstances had prevented it; and even if they hadn’t, she never was sure that he would have taken it further. Here in America she’d heard a saying that summed up a man’s attitude toward marriage and women. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?

Their affair would have been considered scandalous if people knew about it. But they behaved discreetly and fortunately Shang was a nice man who didn’t brag about his exploits; he always seemed to have more respect for women, perhaps because he had a little sister. In any event, no one seemed to know about them.

He was given a big promotion at his job, which he would have been foolish to turn down, but it meant that he would be relocating overseas, to San Francisco. That was the end of their affair. Had they gotten married before that maybe things would have turned out differently. She would have come to America with him. And maybe her life would have been better now.

She remembered how much she cried when he left. Up until the time she ran into him here, she had still missed him terribly.

When their paths crossed again on the streets of San Francisco a week before it was he that spotted her and called out her name. It had scared her at first; she feared she’d been recognized by the man that she was trying to get away from. She nearly burst into tears of relief when she beheld Li Shang’s handsome face; she never thought she’d see him again. Though she’d come to the same city it was a year later and the chances of them meeting had seemed slim to her.

Shang had rushed up to her and clasped her hands warmly in his. The look he gave her said everything about the way he still felt; but it was too late and nothing could come of it. Still, she foolishly accepted his invitation to dinner that night. And then the next night. Then they spent the weekend together, the most romantic one she’d had in a very long time.

But it was a mistake, she knew. She still loved him but they just couldn’t be. And now she’d led him on and set herself up for heartbreak at the same time.

As always, he wore down her defenses eventually. Maybe she wanted him to; she loved him so much still.

Right now they sat together in his car, parked several feet away from where the bus had let her off, talking quietly. Ever the honorable and chivalrous Shang, he’d immediately picked up that she was in trouble from spending just a week with her and was adamant about trying to help her.

“You told me a blatant lie. And I know that you’ve been holding things back from me all week. I know you very well, remember. What I don’t understand is why you would tell me you were going to Canada when you weren’t.”

“I didn’t want you to follow me. Shang, I told you to stay out of my affairs...”

“And you know I couldn’t do that. It’s obvious you’re in trouble.”

“Shang, this week is the first time we’re seeing each other in three years. Things aren’t what they were…I shouldn’t have let things go so far this weekend…”

“I thought you enjoyed the weekend. I know I did.”

“It was wonderful…but it just can’t be anymore…I’m sorry…”

“You’re angry with me.”

“Yes, because you didn’t listen to me.”

“No, not about now. You’re angry with me for three years ago.”

“What kind of ridiculous thing is that to say?” she retorted hotly. “You got a promotion; I don’t resent you for accepting it. And why should I be angry about something that happened three years ago?”

He raked a hand through his sleek dark hair and sighed distantly. “Mulan, I was very much in love with you then…I think I still am…I wanted to marry you. But then everything happened so fast…the promotion…moving here…the timing was all wrong. Now…”

“The timing is still wrong,” she finished for him.

Shang gazed at her sadly. “You are angry, aren’t you?”

“If I say yes will you leave me alone?”

For several minutes he stared at her steadily, arms folded across his chest, pondering. Then he shook his head. “No. No, I won’t. I want to know what’s going on. What are you running away from?”

“You,” she retorted.

He frowned at her. “I don’t believe it.”

She heaved an exasperated sigh and imitated his posture, crossing her own arms across her chest.

“Mulan, won’t you please tell me what’s going on with you? Maybe I can help.”

The secrets of her life that remained unspoken were on the tip of her tongue and a part of her longed to spill them to him. They caused her so much pain, it would be a relief to share the burden with someone. Maybe he could help her. What’s more, he had a big shoulder to cry on.

But all her life she’d learned that revealing too much was dangerous. She had to keep it inside.

Shang sighed again and shifted, reaching into his pocket. He withdrew his wallet and opened it, pulling out a card a moment later and handing it to her.

“I need to get back to San Francisco, but…if you need me, don’t hesitate to call. Both my work and home phone numbers are on there.”

“Thank you, Shang.”

She pocketed the card and stepped out of the car, bidding him goodbye. He started the car and pulled out, waving once to her before driving off.

As she watched him go, a part of her regretted painfully that she’d had to push him away.

(Link here to continue)


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