LOL I am pathetic. My roommate's gone home like she does every weekend and here I am, curled in my bed, afraid to even get up to go get my meds. I was supposed to get them at around 8:30? It's now 9:16? Yeah. I'm pathetic.

Once again? Far too much Samara.

I WANNA SEE SAKURA KICK SOME ASS.

My interest in this series is absent-minded at best. It's there though--but this is about its extent.

Put On the Red Light
Added Sep 15, 2008 and is complete in 1 part. This is a Doctor Who (2005) fic set during Series/Season 1 so is Rose/Nine-centric, though it's gen. Rose reacts to being the Doctor's plus one and the police officer asking if her position of companion was sexual. 1,695 words.

Waltz Her Once
Added Oct 03, 2008 and is complete in 1 part. This is a Doctor Who fic set during Series 1 so it's Rose/Nine-centric. Rose and the Doctor find themselves in the Civil War where Rose realizes that a character from a book is real. This has some mention of Gone With the Wind characters, but no real knowledge of the book and/or movie is required. 5,097 words.

Wanna Know What's Inside You
Added Oct 05, 2008 and is complete in 1 part. This is a Witchblade fic with general spoilers for the series. Sara's mind is not at all where it should be - on the man she's currently in bed with. It's FRAO and is written for LJ community SmallFandomFlsh prompt #13: Fantasy. 929 words.

Get There From Here
Added Oct 09, 2008 and is complete in 1 part. This is a Fringe fic with spoilers through The Ghost Network (1x03). This is a Olivia Dunham & Phillip Boyles bit of PWP, so FRAO. Agent Boyles pays an unexpected visit to Olivia after his conversation with Nina Sharp. 2,819 words.

"Round we go,
the world is spinning,
when it stops,
it's just beginning.

Sun comes up,
we laugh and we cry,
sun goes down,
and then we all die."

Well, looks like my nap lasted a little longer than planned. Like...all night longer.

No...no that's not true. I think I woke up in the midnight hour (flashes of Madona's Life Is A Mystery) and once around 4 something, but I was still too depressed and tired to bother writing anything.

Do I feel better? Well, I'm not as angry and frantic as last night, but now I just feel dead. Empty. And scared.

Oh, and still confused about her hasty departure last night. *sighs sadly*

Mel's actually performing at her Ren Fair today...and I think over the weekend. I'm totally psyched for her. Gotta keep my fingers crossed! She's gonna make 'em all stop breathing she's so beautiful and graceful and just all together breathtaking.

*random tangent from the lovesick idiot here LOL*

Well anyway, just thinking of her makes me both happy and uneasy, because I still don't know what I said to make her leave me like that with no warning and no goodbye. *shrugs* Maybe...*tries to force her mind up from the dark well it's about to travel down*

Well I guess it doesn't matter. I'll write how I'm feeling in a story and fake cut it from
kanashii_seirei
to here.

Oh. Hmmm. I think I might be changing that name. Mel said it didn't really look good together because Japanese words are very difficult to A: be completely right, and B: look good when put together.

Hmmm...

*thinks she's gonna create a poll for it...

Yeah. Okay guys. Do me a fave? *points to the poll below* Help me out here? And please be honest. If the words don't look good together, then please tell me. And feel free to give suggestions on the title of a writing com!!!! I'll throw some out there in the poll; ones I'm considering, but I want the opinion of my incredible friends; the ones who make me want to update this more often.

My dear Flist, I love you all. Thank you for being the inspiration for my words.

Love Ren

( To Rename Or Not To Rename )

I have a really great icon for that, which I can't use due to lack of space. I suppose I could sacrifice some of my House icons.

Anyway, that is totally beside the point I was going to make.

Which is I fail at hanging pictures. Sad, but undeniably true after Lani's print took a dive off the wall, thankfully coming out unscathed. It had managed to stay up for all of an hour or so and clearly superglue is not that super.

No, I did not stick it to the wall. I stuck the hanger bit to the back of the damn frame (because frame is stupid and only hangs one way) How dumb do you think I am? Don't answer that *glowers*

So anyway. It fell down and I have a naked wall again. And the print shifted so I have to take the stupid frame apart and recentre it and restick and we know what happened last time I did that.

Or I just buy a better frame. Which might be a better idea considering I'm still peeved at getting glue on my favourite top (and I still blame him for that).

Okay, I'm back to 100foraslan challenges and this time is prompt #12: winter in narnia.

This is a 3 part story (a trilogy) and each part is going to be a 500 words drabble.

What exactly would happen if the actors in the Narnia movies were thrust into Narnia? Well, this is what I think would happen. =)

Title: "Always winter, but never Christmas"
Author: Me
Beta: Not betaed yet
Characters: Anna, (William)
Pairing: Hints of Will/Anna if you squint very hard
Warnings: none for now
A/N: Set durning the shooting of Prince Caspian. Not betaed, so excuse any mistake, please? Remember English is not my native language.
Summary: When Anna finally realized where she was, she knew something big was going to happen, she just never thought it would involve Narnia's royal family.

( It felt like entering the Narnia-set again, but this time there weren’t cameras or fake snow or Andrew’s shouts of action! )

I hope it's not too confusing, but keep in mind there are 2 part left to post, so yeah...

You know, comments are love!!

To sleep or not to sleep.

I want to take a nap. I'm sleepy. But what if someone IMs me while I'm asleep? Someone like Mellie?

Doubt: She won't. She left you and is probably very happy to leave you out of thought, heart and mind until she's faced with your pathetic presence again on Sunday. Go to sleep. Save them all that horror.

Yeah. I'm taking a nap. Maybe when I wake up this depressing as hell mood'll be past me.

Ren

What did I do...?

Okay...so Mel and I were on aim, and then, suddenly, she just...vanishes. No goodbyes, no I'll miss you's, no simple GTGs, no love you's.

Is that supposed to be a sign? Did I say something wrong? What did I do...?

*sighs* I'm beginning to think she doesn't miss me, doesn't love me and is happy when there's an excuse to stay away from me. It's not like I know what's in her heart, seeing as how she refuses to trust or open up to me.

But even as I type it, there's another part of me whispering that that is just not true. I want to believe that side, and most of the time I do. But at times like this, when I feel I've inadvertently done something to hurt my life, then...I feel...well...worthless.

Tell me what I did, my golden song. Tell me how I hurt you this time.

Please...

Why didn't you say goodbye?

*bursts into real sobs* What the hell is wrong with me! Why am I so emotional! And before you ask, no, I no longer have my period and no, I'm not pregnant. But why can't I stop crying? Oh, and no, I'm not having a nervous fucking breakdown.

I guess it's just anger and sheer loneliness and sadness. I wanted this night for us! She gets her all the time! She'll be with her all weekend and the one night I need Mel for me, she has to come over and cuddle with my girl and just...argh!

Look, I don't hate the girl or anything. Why would I? I don't even know her. And maybe I need to curb my somewhat possessive tendencies. After all, they've been friends since childhood. But gah! I can't stop my traitress heart from feeling left out, shunted, ignored, locked out from the only one I want to know as intimately as I know myself!

God I wish Samara were real. At least then I'd have a countdown to my death.

*melodramatic moment there* Sorry.

But to be honest? And this is just stemming from a rant now, doesn't it seem like life just would be easier watching it being lived by someone else instead of yourself? *shrugs* I dunno. Random thoughts there as well.

*sighs* Well whatever. I should be used to never getting close to people, or having people not let me get close to them. After all, who'd want the father-killing whore with no sight to give but the images she imagines in a mind not even here in the now half the time?

Psh.

*kicks something* Argh! I hate this fucking feeling! I'm not the jealous type! Really, I'm not. Then why do I find myself envious of the time she has with her! Oh god somebody please just put me to sleep until I can find a friend that will love me as much as they love one another.

*flops*

Ren

Okay, I have been reading and watching way too much on Samara Morgan and The Ring/The Ring 2. Why do I say this? Simple.

( Because I am jumping out of my skin at the slightest noise that links us. )</lj-cut text="Because I am jumping out of my skin at the slightest noise

POLITICS:

http://www.emeraldwinter.net/holmcross/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=28

Today was surprisingly fun in Garde Manger. So far it's been dull. I hated doing Cheese Mirrors and there isn't a lot of room in decorating salads.

But today was different, I was buzzing. Truly in a "chefy" mood. We had to make a salad of our own creation and I was the one who designed it. I was grouped with passive peers today.

Basically I made an apple salad since I had a desire to use Brie cheese which goes sparkling with apples and sweet fruits.

From there I started to devise sugar toasted pecans, mandererin oranges, dried cranberries, thyme, and bitter argula greens and whatever lettuce we were given. I topped it off with a raspberry vinaigrette and pronounced it delicious.

The Brie cheese was picked in portions and rolled into balls- they looked like pearls.

It was because of what I did to the Brie that astounded chef. He felt we needed more salad dressing, which is why my salad didn't win but he almost picked it. I saw him eye it constantly and when he judged my piece his voice thundered with astonishment, praise, and a hint of criticism. He said that what I did to the cheese was something he had never seen before.

It just. . . felt amazing to have gratuitous attention from him. It always is. I envy the guys in my class who went to Hooters with chef. . .I can't get past stuttering when he talks to me.

Eheheheh! Someone just told me my userpic looks like a heart! See? See? I just ooz the love!

Here's some funny for your morning enjoyment!

Rules of Montana , Oregon , Idaho and Washington the Wild West are as follows:

(  1. Pull your pants up. You look like an idiot. )