Teri looked at the menu proofs and frowned. “I think we could do better than this orange. I’m thinking more of a terra-cotta, Tex-Mex kind of look.” She picked up the Pantone book from the drafting table and held it to the light coming from the large windows behind her, fanning out the reds and oranges. Choosing a couple of pages, she laid the book down next to the proof. “Do you see? That one really makes the yellow pop.”

“Yes! That’s definitely better,” Kitty agreed. “Let’s go with the darker shade.” She wrote down both the Pantone number and the CMYK code to be on the safe side. Then she broke off one of the perforated colour chips, taping it to the proof before taking a pencil and making a note for the graphic artist. “Okay, so we’ll need to change this on the business cards and promo flyer as well.”

“Good. Did you want to look at the chairs now, or should we grab some lunch?”

“Lunch first, I think. I could use a break.” Kitty filed the proof back in the docket and reached for her purse. “Let’s get a sandwich from the deli downstairs and sit outside for a change.”

“Sounds good.”

Sandwiches and drinks in hand, the women strolled through the park until they found a bench. “Mmmmm. I was hungrier than I thought,” mumbled Teri, her mouth full of ham on rye.

“You need to take better care of yourself, Teri. You’re running yourself ragged with Jack away so much.” Kitty unwrapped her straw and took a sip of her orange juice. “I don’t know how you do it.” Kitty was one of Teri’s oldest friends, and one of the few people in their lives who knew what Jack really did for a living.

“Lots of men travel for work.” Teri shrugged. “On our block alone there’s a pilot, a university professor and a pharmaceutical rep. They all travel.”

“None of them travel to the places Jack does.” Kitty pointed out.

“Well, the accountant down the street went to Bosnia last summer. He specializes in international accounting,” she explained. “Besides, even the ones who don’t travel are almost never home. Look at Gord.” Kitty’s husband was trying to make partner at his law firm, and worked long hours.

“True, I guess.” Kitty pulled back the wrap on her chicken salad sub and took another bite. They watched a young couple on roller blades skate by holding hands. Kitty sighed. “Do you remember when we used to have lunch dates that were actually dates?”

“No,” laughed Teri. “You maybe. Me, never. Jack’s never had that kind of job.”

Kitty laughed too. “How’s Kim?”

“Oh, god. Her cousin Josh came over last night. It was the total Bickersons. They couldn’t agree on anything. I wanted to throttle them!”

“Josh? Isn’t that Graem’s son? I didn’t know you saw them much.” Kitty was surprised. She knew Jack was not close to his side of the family, and could barely stand to be in the same room as his younger brother.

Teri shook her head. “We don’t. I don’t think the kids should have to pay for that though. Marilyn and I try to get them together as often as I can when Jack’s away, but I don’t know if it’s worth it. The age difference is just too much. Kim feels like she’s babysitting.”

“That’s understandable, but still. Good for you. They’ll thank you when they’re older. Family is so important.” She crumpled up the sandwich wrapper and reached into a small paper bag for her cookie. “Want a bite? White chocolate Macadamia nut.” She waggled it at Teri.

“No thanks. I’m full.” Teri stretched, catlike, and re-settled on the bench. She yawned. “I’m so tired today. I didn’t get much sleep last night. Jack called.”

“Really? I didn’t think he could.” Her friend leaned forward, eager for details. “What did he say? Did he tell you where he is?”

“Of course not! Don’t be silly. I have no idea.” She was nervous that anyone would even think Jack could make a mistake like that. “No, but I think he’s having a decent time of it for a change. He was drunk when he called.”

“Jeez-us. He called you when he was drunk? Doesn’t that bother you, that he was out drinking?”

Teri thought for a moment. “I don’t know. I suppose not. I’ve never really thought about it. It seemed like something he had to do for work. It wasn’t like he was out at a party or anything.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t, I guess.” She hugged herself. Her silk tank top suddenly seemed insufficient for the day. She wished she’d brought her blazer from the office.

Kitty broke the silence. “Do you ever think about, you know, the things he might have to do when he’s away?”

“Like what?” her voice was as cool as her arms.

Kitty glanced around to make sure no one was in earshot. “You know what I mean. All those secret identities. Well…I mean… You’ve seen the same TV shows I have,” her voice limped to the end of the thought.

Teri stared straight ahead. “This isn’t TV.”

“No, of course not. But…”

“What are you doing, Kitty?”

“I don’t know, I just – ”

“No, really, what are you doing?” Teri turned on the woman who was supposed to be her closest friend. “Don’t you think I’ve thought about this? Don’t you think this is hard enough for me without you rubbing it in my face?” Kitty sat back defensively.

“Look, Teri, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“God, Kitty! You’re my best friend! You of all people should know how tough this is for me!” She could feel the tears welling up. Dammit. Keep it together, Teri. She hated it if she cried when what she was really feeling was anger.

“This is my husband we’re talking about. This is Jack, dammit! Jack, who stood by me when we got pregnant far too young. Jack, who is the most involved father I know when he can be around. Jack, who joined the military so he could provide for us while he went to school so he wouldn’t be stuck in some dead end job after his father practically disowned him. Jack would never, never do anything to hurt me.”

“I know, Teri. I know. I’m sorry.” She reached out and drew her friend into an embrace. “I’m sorry. God, I’m sorry.” They pulled apart and Kitty rummaged in her purse for tissue. “I’m just concerned about you, that’s all.”

Teri nodded, folding the tissue and taking a deep breath. “I know. It’s just – I try not to think about it. I hate to think about it.” She looked at Kitty imploringly. “I can’t think about it, or I’ll go crazy. You understand?”

Kitty nodded. “I do. I really do, Teri.” She put her hand over her friend’s for a moment.

She couldn’t tell her.

I saw him, Teri. She had been in a crappy part of town, checking the junk shops for old picture frames and candlesticks for a space she and Teri were designing. She’d been just about to leave one store when she saw Jack in front of the diner down the street. Her first instinct was to go out and say hi, but then she remembered that Teri had told her he was away, so she drew back into the store, pretending to have another look at some things in the window. She thought it would be fun to watch him for a while, see what Mr. Spy Man did at work.

He was leaning against the passenger door of an old blue sedan, his legs stuck lazily in front of him, one booted foot over the other. He was wearing jeans and a ratty brown bomber jacket. He looked scruffier than usual, but still very attractive. She’d never had a thing for him, but her friend’s husband had always been easy to look at.

Jack checked his watch and crossed his arms. The door to the diner opened and a blonde woman in a waitress uniform came out. She walked straight up to Jack. He squinted up at her in the harsh sunlight, but his posture remained the same. They obviously knew each other.

As the woman talked to him, he reached out a hand and took hers, looking at her intently. He laughed at something she said, and pulled on the woman’s hand, forcing her to bend toward him. He grabbed her head with his other hand and… kissed her. Holy sh-t! Kitty couldn’t believe what she was seeing. This was not just a friendly peck on the cheek. This was a full-on, passionate kiss. He stood up and turned, putting his arm around the woman as he opened the car door for her, helping her get in. Always the gentleman, huh, Jack. Kitty stepped back from the window as he walked toward her, but he was just going around to the driver’s side of the car. He got in and they drove away. Kitty was shaking.

That had been weeks ago, and Kitty was still upset at the memory. She had been trying to figure out what to do. He had obviously been working. But still… didn’t Teri have the right to know? You can never tell what goes on in an marriage from outside it, she reminded herself. Maybe Teri knew and was fine with it. Maybe they weren’t the perfect couple that they seemed. Maybe she didn’t want to know. Kitty had decided to sound Teri out gently, without letting on that she knew anything. She was glad she had. It was obvious Teri was not ready to hear what Kitty had to tell her.

“Okay, then.” Kitty snapped back to the present at Teri’s voice. Teri checked her watch and set her shoulders. “Those chairs aren’t going to choose themselves. Time to get back to work.”

“Okay.” They left their garbage in the bin and crossed the street, heading back to the office they shared.