Current mood:	crazy
Entry tags:	shiba kuukaku

[Shiba Kuukaku][kaeru_chan]
Title: Shiba Kuukaku: 20 Random Facts About Rukongai's #1 Fireworks Expert
Author: kaeru_chan
Character/Pairing/Group: Shiba Kuukaku
Rating: PG-13 for... a lot of cussing and mentions of unsafe uses for fireworks.
Disclaimer/Notes/Whatever: I do not own Kuukaku or any of these people, and I think that may a good thing at times. Blame benizakura for the crackiest pairing EVER. XD And me too, I guess. A little. Maybe. Spoilers for... hell. Yes, there are spoilers. Read at your own risk.

1. Legend has it that Shiba Kuukaku was born on a stormy night where clouds obscured a red moon and rain fell down from the heavens in torrents while lightning raced across the sky. It is said she came equipped with a full set of jagged teeth.

Truthfully, the sky had never been clearer than it had been when Kuukaku had been born, and it was a quiet morning when Kaien first held his little sister in his arms.

He never DID explain the scars that ringed his index finger, however.

2. When Kuukaku was three years old, Kaien took her to a festival to see the fireworks. Kuukaku disregarded all of the food and games and spent most of the night seated on her brother's shoulders, wide blue eyes fixed on the bright splashes of color overhead.

Kaien decided he had created a monster when he found her the next morning playing with a flint and asking him how she could make the sparks have colors like the ones last night.

3. Kuukaku lost her right arm when she conducted her first homemade fireworks experiment and it exploded in her hand, taking most of her arm with it. To this day, she still smiles fondly at the recollection and happily declares she has no regrets, because you were obviously born with two arms just to discover you really only need one to get things done.

4. She has no idea where Koganehiko and Shiroganehiko came from. She knows they've been around since before she was born, but whenever she asks them about it, one or both of them will always reply with "We will always serve you, Kuukaku-dono!!!" Not even the threat of shoving them both in the cannon and firing them off to the great unknown will get her a better explanation than that. In fact, when she tried that out as a threat, Shiroganehiko squealed for hours about what an honor that would be to witness her power first-hand.

Kuukaku wonders about those two sometimes.

5. As much as she hates to admit it, Kuukaku has a soft spot for children. She doubts she'll ever be a mother herself, so she contents herself with making other women promise to let her be godmother to THEIR children.

In Inoue Orihime's case, Kuukaku may very well end up being the godmother of a mecha. She wouldn't put it past the girl.

6. Kuukaku met Jidanbou when her little brother stumbled too close to Seireitei and the blockade came crashing down. As it turned out, they'd approached Jidanbou's side and he came out to challenge them. Rather than let Ganju get hurt, Kuukaku insisted on fighting the giant herself-- the first time she'd fought with only one arm.

Neither will say how the match ended up, but the two ended up becoming very good friends and most of the Rukongai residents developed extreme respect for Kuukaku as a result of their fight.

7. She met Yoruichi when she visited Rukongai in an attempt to get away from her bodyguards for just one minute. Kuukaku liked her sense of humor and her fighting skills and invited her fellow noble for a drink.

Five jugs of sake and two bar-fights later, they were the best of friends.

8. Kuukaku actually considered becoming a shinigami, until she met Kurotsuchi Mayuri. While she personally thought he wasn't that bad-looking (before he did all those body alterations and got himself that shit-ugly mask), she didn't like the "Holier-than-thou" attitude he took with everyone, while he claimed she was a cripple with imperfections that he couldn't bear to look at. Kuukaku told him if all shinigami (other than Kaien) were freaks like him then she wanted nothing to do with them.

Urahara still chuckles and calls it love, until Kuukaku swipes his hat and threatens to incinerate it.

9. Kaien's wife was one of the few people she liked instantly upon meeting, possibly the third in all of her life. Kuukaku didn't think it was such a big deal, and couldn't understand why her brother had to drag her down to his division to exclaim "SHE APPROVES!" in tones of great pride.

She wishes she HAD understood now, because shortly after that, his wife was killed.

10. She used to hate pigs and was firmly against Ganju letting Bonnie into the house, until the night after Kaien's death, when she found him curled up with the piglet, tears drying on his face.

"Guess you won't be such a bad thing for him after all, eh, Bacon?" She muttered, straightening Bonnie's bow and heaving a sigh.

11. She hadn't expected Ganju to lead a whole band of boar-riders, although when some of the Rukongai citizens complained about him, she merely replied with, "Hey, they could have chosen to ride shinigami, and wouldn't THAT be hella awkward?"

12. Her actual favorite design for the house was the one of the boy giving the girl the love letter-- if only because it made Mayuri cringe and hiss when he came to question her about whether Urahara had told her anything about his research.

She took even greater pleasure in the expression on his face when she told him to go jab a firecracker up his ass and she'd even do the honors of lighting it for him.

13. Speaking with Soi Fong about Yoruichi's disappearance was a little less amusing. It was almost painful to see how broken the girl seemed when she showed up at her door screaming, "WHERE IS YORUICHI-SAMA?! You HAVE to know where she went!"

Kuukaku couldn't tell her, and had to close the door before she was tempted to.

14. Kuukaku and Matsumoto Rangiku are the ultimate drinking team; they once drank the Thug Team (Hisagi, Abarai, Iba, and Madarame) under the table and walked home without swaying even once.

They still like to smirk over that.

15. Kuukaku once spoke to Ishida Uryuu while his companions were resting up for their Seireitei break-in.

"Not all shinigami are bad," she told him, frowning lightly. "But most Quincy don't agree with that. Why are you here? And don't give me any of that 'prove myself to shinigami' shit, boy. Why are you doing this?"

"I can't leave one of my classmates to die because she helped someone save his family."

"... And?"

"There is no and."

"Oh?" She grinned wickedly up at him. "And you weren't worried about the other girl getting into some sort of trouble with only Orangey and No-Talk to watch out for her?"

While Ishida stammered and flustered that Inoue-san was perfectly capable of taking care of herself, she was just accident-prone and on his pride as a Quincy, he couldn't just leave her safety to Kurosaki, Kuukaku laughed and swatted the back of his head.

"You talk too much. Have some sake."

These children really WERE amusing at times, and she hoped they'd somehow survive this.

16. The only time Kuukaku has ever cried was when she saw the twinkling blue light disappear into the sky and wondered if she was going to lose the only member of her family she had left.

17. Not once has Kuukaku thought that Kurosaki Ichigo was anything like Kaien, appearance or personality-wise.

18. Kuukaku gets along famously with the 11th Division, and often visits them to help break in the newbies. Kenpachi proudly admits that most of his toughest men have survived a round with the fireworks expert, except for the time she brought along a blowtorch for "a change in routine".

19. After Aizen had left and she had been filled in on the fights and the adventures they'd all had, Kuukaku gleefully dubbed Mayuri "Puddle Bitch" and told Ishida he might actually be cool once he ditched that dorky cape.

20. Kuukaku actually forgave Kuchiki Rukia the moment she brought Kaien back, but Rukia said nothing, so neither did she.