| SVH Super Edition: Jessica Takes Manhattan |
[Aug. 16th, 2008|12:21 am] |
Well, after whining on in the comments the other week about North London charity shops being SVH-free zones, in my local one today I picked up not one, but two SVH books. What's more, they were 20p each, which makes me think that the dude who runs the shop read them and priced them according to their literary value. So, mystery donator of Highbury Fields, I thank ye kindly. |
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| SVH Special Edition: Elizabeth's Secret Diary, Volume 2 |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|05:33 pm] |
I'm taking a break from Jonathan the Glorious Sparkling Vampire to recap Elizabeth's Secret Diary Volume 2.
I was slightly older when I read the secret diaries for the first time, and had been spoiled by other fictional diarists. While I wasn't exactly expecting Sweet Valley's answer to Bridget Jones - cigarettes 12, dead boyfriends 3 (v.g.) - I remember being extremely let-down that that wily Francine Pascal was basically selling me condensed versions of books I'd already read. I'm not sure what her intentions were, really. Perhaps she just had her eye on a fancy new diving board for her money vault, so she could swim through her hoards of gold like Scrooge McDuck.
Fortunately, they all had a fabulous cheating subplot, so let's get on with that. The back cover promises "true confessions", "classic moments", and a "painful decision" in Liz's life. Intriguing stuff.
( Read on! ) |
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| Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica's Animal Instincts |
[May. 25th, 2008|08:20 pm] |
I cannot stop laughing at the disgusted expression on Liz's face.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVH Super Thriller FEAR: A Stranger in the House |
[May. 5th, 2008|01:44 pm] |
A Stranger in the House: Or "What My Family Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Them....Even Though it Might Kill Them."
Cover! This was a super special double cover. The top part has the prison bars, and the inside shows John being all super evil with photos of the Wakefield twins in his cell. Okay. There's a photo of Jess cheering from the cover of Jessica Quits the Squad (how embarrassing that the newspaper captured her effing up!), Liz & Jess in bikinis under a waterfall. FAIL. They just recolored Lila's hair from here. There are also two drawings at the top of Jess and Liz walking with John. Magically, John has traveled into the future, photographed these moments, and hung them up on his cell.
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| SVT Super Edition #13: Elizabeth: Next Stop, Jr. High |
[Apr. 6th, 2008|03:42 pm] |
This is a glorious book where Elizabeth stuffs everything up for a bunch of poor Costa Ricans. But I'm sure she'll fix it up again. Drat.
Elizabeth says in this book, she's thirteen. It's set in August before the twins' eighth-grade year. But for her to be a Gemini, she's gotta be born in late May/June. I think their birthday is in June, according to SVH. Apparently they're thirteen for all of seventh grade, and eighth grade too. That's odd!
( Quick rant: I'm trying to suss out this eternal age mystery! )
No snark on the cover. Liz actually looks pretty. Prettier than Jessica on her cover. BUUUURN!
( Madame Bob, Queen of the Snakes ) |
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| Super edition: Spring Break |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|01:36 pm] |
Here's the COVER. That's Jessica in the fugly square-dance dress with the fugly, huge arm(pit) holes. I guess she's supposed to look all excited, but she looks like she's on drugs. Lizzie looks like she's pulling down her skirt. And in my teen years, those neckerchiefs were used to cover up hickeys.
Anyway...
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| Sweet Valley High Super Edition (#4?) Malibu Summer |
[Mar. 10th, 2008|09:49 pm] |
Because I can't let you all think I have more of a life than ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) loubeelou, I present: Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Malibu Summer
This is the summer when Todd is away in Vermont and Jeffrey hasn’t appeared on the scene. It is the summer between the twin’s junior year and their junior year. Maybe Sweet Valley Time is like hammerspace, you can pull summer out when you want it and put it away when done.
Cover: 
Jessica is obviously the one in the teeny-weeny pink bikini and Liz is in a matronly striped one-piece. As a kid, I gotta say that I always thought the twins had crap hair. It is so mullet-looking.
( For a Super Edition, it wasn’t all that super. No X-Ray vision anyway. )
Only 181 pages, that is considered “Super”? Or was it “Super” because it was one of the summer/holiday books and outside the normal timeline? Eh, who cares, not enough Lila in the book and the whole situation was so contrived. Which makes it par for the course.
( ETA: By popular request, THE SONG ) |
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| Sweet Valley Twins Special Edition-Jessica's First Kiss-Chapters 1-6 |
[Feb. 5th, 2008|10:01 pm] |
This is my first book recap. So I picked SVT which is what I got as a kid along with the Baby-Sitters Club. I purchased this book and didn't read it initially as a kid so its fun to do this recap as I am reading it.
On to the cover:
Its from Amazon so it looks bad. Liz and Dennis are happy while Jessica and Todd are pissed. Simply put. And you may notice that Jessica's outfit is not stylish. I dressed better than Jessica did in the 6th grade. Seriously.
( MWAH! ) |
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| Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Perfect Summer |
[Jan. 13th, 2008|01:49 am] |
| [ | Tags | | | boyfriend stealing, bruce patman, cheating cheaters, major continuity errors, miss lila fowler, mr. collins if you're nasty, pool push, recapper: irinaauthor, summer break, super edition, sweet valley high, trusty boyfriend todd | ] |
Sweet Valley High Super Edition: Perfect Summer
The one with the bike trip. I definitely read this when I was little, but I barely remember it. I am willing to bet, however, that it is not as perfect as the title would lead us to believe.
Check out the high waists on those shorts!
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| Super Edition #1 The Class Trip |
[Jan. 8th, 2008|10:06 pm] |
I haven’t read this in years and it was great nostalgia! In this very first SVT Super Edition Elizabeth teaches us that it's possible to have an Alice in Wonderland-type experience without the aid of LSD. FYI: This super edition was first printed after SVT #19 The Bully. This is what is says at the very end Join Jessica and Elizabeth for an exciting adventure in Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #1 The Class Trip. Who ARE these people? Our story begins as Jessica bounces onto her twin’s bed bright and early to remind her mirror image that it’s the day of the class trip! How could we have forgotten? Elizabeth is wide awake now and reaching for her robe. The class trip is to take place at a Disneyland-type amusement park called The Enchanted Forest which is described as “One of the biggest amusement parks on the West Coast.” What will Jessica wear? She hurries to call her best friend Lila Fowler to consult on the perfect Enchanted Forest outfit. We get a few quick lines about the silly, at least in Elizabeth’s opinion, Unicorn Club. Liz has decided on her white jeans and blue top as her Enchanted Forest outfit while Jessica arrives at breakfast in her green jumpsuit but her hair is not yet combed. Thumbs down to the artist who drew everyone in Sweet Valley wearing blue jeans.
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| Sweet Valley High Super Edition #11: Earthquake |
[Nov. 9th, 2007|05:45 pm] |
I wasn't going to do this so soon, guys - I was all Sweet Vallied out after my last recap - but then yesterday I made the mistake of reading my university's creative writing magazine. My friends, it is the most...I mean, it is so incredibly...Guys, it makes the Sweet Valley books look good. It is twenty-two pages of the most tedious dreck I have ever read. I refuse to believe that any of the contributors are older than twelve, and I feel incredibly embarrassed for all of them.
So I read Earthquake to recover from the horrors of whiney teenage blank verse. I think this is the first time in history that a Sweet Valley book has ever actually seemed good in comparison to something else. I should send Francine a copy of the magazine. She'd probably frame it. (I have to admit, though, I'm morbidly curious to see if they'd print Amanda's poem if I sent it in anonymously. Would it meet the standards of excellence required for this prestigious publication?)
Anyway, I bet you're all dying to find out what happens! Shocking: An earthquake hits Sweet Valley and the Wakefields' split-level ranch house is destroyed! More shocking: Olivia Davidson dies! Most shocking of all: The twins have a birthday. I know, guys. I couldn't believe it either.
( Read on! ) |
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| Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #2, Holiday Mischief |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|06:06 pm] |
Here's another holiday book recap for anyone who might have some early holiday spirit. Though this one actually doesn't have that much to do with the holidays.
No cover art, but in case you're wondering, the cover shows Jessica and a girl with curly red hair peeking around a screen at a big scary shadowed figure. Jessica's wearing a red silk dress and pearls. That other girl is wearing blue taffetta. The artist gets ten continuity points because these outfits actually match what they're described as wearing in the book!
( Read on... )
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| Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #10: The Year Without Christmas |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|10:15 pm] |
Here we go: possibly the most metatextual Sweet Valley book of all time, wherein Jessica has to live the holiday season over and over again. We've all seen the film Groundhog Day, right, where Bill Murray lives the same day on a loop? Well, this book is exactly like that. Except with Jessica Wakefield instead of Bill Murray. And it's set on Christmas Eve in California, rather than Groundhog Day in Pennsylvania. And also, everything else is completely different as well.
The main reason why I like this book: it's almost entirely Jessica POV. Jessica being my favourite character, this made the book an easy sell to me. When I was recapping it, I imagined myself lurking shiftily around a seedy bar with a flashing neon Sweet Valley sign above it and lower down, in glowing pink letters, screamed the words, "ALL JESSICA POV ALL THE TIME." So yes, I'm a little ashamed.
Here's the cover. At no point in this book is Jessica trapped inside an enormous snowglobe, so you Jessica-haters out there can just stop rubbing your hands with glee! Don't pretend that you weren't. I'm onto you guys. See that person standing there, just outside your window? Yeah. THAT'S ME. I'm totally watching you.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVT Super Edition #5 - Lila’s Secret Valentine, or, Possibly the Best Sweet Valley Twins Book Ever |
[Nov. 4th, 2007|12:23 pm] |
Lila lovers, sit up and take note. This book is almost all about her, and we get to spend a lot of time in Ms. Fowler’s headspace (which we all know is a pretty awesome place to be). In some ways, Lila acts very out of character in this book (you’ll see how in a sec), but it’s pretty endearing. 
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| Sweet Valley Twins Super Summer Fun Book |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|05:11 pm] |
I found this book about ten years ago, hidden in my bookstore’s bargain bin. Didn’t they realise what a gem they were giving away for the low, low price of $1.50?? This isn’t really keeping with the Halloween theme of the mo’, but seeing as how it’s almost summer where I live (Australia), it seemed appropriate. Right, so this book doesn’t have a story - it’s (as the back cover says) “your fun-packed guide to the greatest vacation ever!” “Elizabeth shares her favourite summer projects and gives you advice on ways to beat the summer heat. Jessica tells you how to start a club as fabulous as the Unicorns and gives you pointers on throwing the coolest parties”. Oooh! Ooh! And there’s also fashion tips from the Unicorns (!!) and a bunch of fill-in sections (best movie of the summer, etc), Sweet Valley trivia quizzes & word searches, as well as a summer calendar and stuff like that.…I have to say, this book excited me so much as a kid. It made me feel like the twins were real people. 
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| SVT Super Edition #4: The Unicorns Go Hawaiian |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|10:08 am] |
Okay, guys. This is it. I don't want to hype it up too much, but this is, quite possibly, the best SVT book of all time. Basically, the only characters who feature in it are the only Unicorns worth bothering with - Jessica, Lila, Janet, Mandy, Ellen, and Mary. (Okay, granted that no one cares about Mary, but whatever.) They go to Hawaii. They eat a lot of pineapple. They grapple with ancient curses. The book cover itself is silver.
It is ridiculous. It is FABULOUS. It is The Unicorns Go Hawaiian. Cha-cha-cha!
( I heard about all the pretty girls with grass skirts down to their knees ) |
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| SVH Super Edition: Winter Carnival |
[Oct. 1st, 2007|02:28 pm] |
Damn it, I wanted to see Jessica's silver ski suit!!! She looks evil, even in that lame knit sweater.
Jessica is irresponsible and needy in this one. You also won't believe the "moral" of the story!
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| SVH Super Edition: Murder in Paradise |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|11:32 pm] |
This book has murder and shallowness in it, a first for Sweet Valley High's favorite girls.
Kidding, kidding.
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| Sweet Valley Super Edition - Spring Break |
[Jul. 4th, 2007|02:03 pm] |
Sweet Valley Super Edition - Spring Break, or, The One That Never Happened
According to the year this one was written, it takes place after book 27, which sounds about right... Todd has just moved to Vermont, Liz hasn't hooked up with Jeffrey yet, and Steven has only recently started going out with Cara. But as soon will become obvious - this book never happened!!!
( The A plot: Elizabeth and Jessica Go To France )
( The B plot: Steve's An Idiot ) |
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groggy
amused