| The Elizabeth Series, #5: Max's Choice |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|09:16 pm] |
The Elizabeth Series, #5: Max's Choice
No, the choice is not fish or chicken. Nor is it cake or death. Max does have to pick out stationery at one point, though, which frankly is more interesting than the actual choice: Elizabeth or his fiancée, Lavinia. As if there's any suspense there, considering he's choosing between a Wakefield and a non-Wakefield. If Lavinia were a size ten, this series wouldn't have made it past the first book.
The cover art looks as though it was drawn by a nine-year-old. Max's lips freak me right the hell out, and Liz looks like she's about to squeeze his boob.
( I kid you not, the word 'bloody' appears thirty-seven times in this book. Tell me that wasn't intentional. ) |
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| SVT#60: Ciao, Sweet Valley! |
[Feb. 23rd, 2008|12:45 am] |
Another book about exchange students! And boy, is it ever awesome!
----> My icon is basically the expression on my face as I read this.
Ciao means both hello and goodbye, so I always like to imagine that this title actually means "Goodbye, Sweet Valley (and good riddance, you WASPy bitches)".
( Stereotypes abound! ) |
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| Sweet Valley High #134: Happily Ever After |
[Feb. 20th, 2008|12:06 pm] |
Ok, here we are, without further ado, the final book in the Chateau d' Amour Collection...
Angst! Drama! Tears! Horses! You name it, this book has it.
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| Sweet Valley High #133 - To Catch A Thief. |
[Feb. 7th, 2008|12:02 pm] |
OK, the next one in the Chateau d' Amour collection: To Catch a Thief (except, no thief is actually caught but I'm sure thats irrelevant, kind of like, 'That Fatal Night' where nobody died). The title should give some clues about the plot line, anyway, and for all those Jacques fans out there, he's in this book a lot more!
To read the recap of 132: Once Upon a Time, please click the link.
Trilogy cover:
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| SVH 132: Once Upon A Time (Chateau d' Amour Collection) |
[Jan. 15th, 2008|12:12 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | chateau d' amour collection, doormat syndrome, major continuity errors, recapper: zippyladoodles, saint elizabeth of sweet valley, sociopathic jessica, some people never learn, strange view of europe, sweet valley high, trusty boyfriend todd, underage drinking | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | Work, as usual! | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Lindsay Lohan - Rumours | ] |
Well, a SVH recap, for a change. This is the first SVH one I've done, and as it's actually a three book arc, bear with me, 'kay!
On the back, this collection is described as, 'three riveting books in one.' I don't know if I'd go that far as to say, 'riveting,' but, OK! Also, we have the description, 'Join Jessica and Elizabeth for a summer of royalty and romance in this majestic trilogy of titles.' *Cough!* I think Francine was fast running out of ideas here, so why not rip off a fairy tale to liven up the series, eh wot wot!
Now, these books were released separately, and then put together in the Chateau d' Amour collection afterwards. Chateau d' Amour of course translating to Chateau of Love. How romantically sickly sweet and corny can we get now, Francine! I'm making this point because this cover:
is the trilogy cover, and I will be using this in all three recaps to make them continuous. A crown, handcuffs and pretty pink flowers, and we pretty much have the books summed up on the cover.
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| Elizabeth #4: Downstairs, Upstairs |
[Dec. 11th, 2007|01:46 pm] |
Okay, we return to the gripping saga that is Elizabeth in London.
Cover art's still fugly. Liz and Sarah are glaring at something. Or maybe Liz is glaring at Sarah. I don't know.
( Danger and violence with a big pair of scissors ) |
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| Sweet Valley High #83: Steven's Bride |
[Dec. 10th, 2007|06:04 pm] |
Look at that title. Steven's Bride. Really, have two words ever sounded more terrifying? This book should have been recapped in the build-up to Halloween.
Cover.
Cara looks like my cousin. She's pretty, although those loose strands of hair are bugging the shiz out of me. Steven looks like a Ken doll. Appropriate, considering Sweet Vallians are anatomically-challenged in the groinal region. Also, I love how unexcited the teaser-line sounds. "It's the biggest decision of their lives. I guess. Whatever. Want some pie?"
( Read on! ) |
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| Elizabeth #3: A Royal Pain |
[Dec. 4th, 2007|03:52 pm] |
I don't even know where they got the title for this. She's not working for the Queen. If I ever meet this ghostwriter, I'll probably beat her up. Then, if she died, she'd literally be a ghostwriter. Heh. I'm so funny.
Number of references to Lavinia being a duchess (with her family, she's so NOT): 6.
References to the Penningtons being royalty: 5.
References to Elizabeth being a scullery maid: 6. Heh.
Oh, and gold lavalieres get mentioned. Shibby!!
( For the final time ghostwriter, nobility is not royalty. Don't make me say it again! ) |
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| Jessica's Secret Diary volume 1 part 2 |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|01:36 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alice wakefield, amy sutton, boyfriend stealing, bruce patman, cheating cheaters, heroically deaf regina, miss lila fowler, oh hi steven, oh jeffrey, recapper: roseability_, secret diary, sociopathic jessica, strange view of europe, sweet valley high, twin switch | ] |
You guys, Regina's about to die!
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| Jessica's Secret Diary volume 1 part 1 |
[Dec. 3rd, 2007|01:15 pm] |
This volume covers the time from SVH #32, The New Jessica all the way to #40 On The Edge. In this thrilling instalment of Jessica’s life, she becomes slightly fixated on Elizabeth, making her actions ever more harsh and sociopathic, leading to a drastic makeover, numerous attempts at stealing Elizabeth’s boyfriend, one feigned terminal illness and a variety of misfits having problems that are never mentioned again. And finally, Heroically Deaf Regina becomes Tragically Dead Regina. Jessica sort of cares. I've had to break this up into two parts, because LiveJournal got all pissy. Get ready to be underwhelmed!
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| Sweet Valley High #62: Who's Who? |
[Dec. 2nd, 2007|11:21 pm] |
Okay. I'm not ashamed. I love this book. I love it so much that I spent five dollars on a renaming token for my LiveJournal so that I could use the name of one of the "characters" in it. (My real name is neither Daniella nor Fromage. Don't be too shocked now. I know pseudonyms aren't too common on the internet, but that's just how I roll.) I don't even known why I love it. It's not the plot so much as the fabulous details. And they really are FABULOUS.
The cover is stunningly fug. That's Liz on the left in the role of Daniella Fromage (and of course, I always wear trendy baggy blazers and black berets, and am totally not sitting here right now in faded pyjamas with my hair covered in cereal), and Jessica on the right being Magenta Galaxy. Based on their expressions, I want to smack them both.
( Read on! ) |
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| Elizabeth #2: London Calling |
[Nov. 28th, 2007|07:44 pm] |
Okay, the very popular Elizabeth story continues! Alas, no Jessica in this one AT ALL. Elizabeth isn't much featured either. It looks mostly at the lives of Lady Sarah and of Vanessa the maid.
( Mind your p's and q's or you'll be out on your arse ) |
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| Elizabeth #1: University, Interrupted |
[Nov. 25th, 2007|06:26 pm] |
Okay, here it is- the beginning of the end of the Sweet Valley story, unless that gated community series ever comes to pass.
This is the story of Elizabeth running away to lead a new life- as a scullery maid! Everyone in England is either upper-crust or from the East End, so are rough drunks and cads! *gasp* English slang is used and token references are added! It's so authentic!!!
( For someone supposedly so smart, Elizabeth is really stupid ) |
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| Sweet Valley Saga II Magna Edition: The Wakefield Legacy: The Untold Story (Part One) |
[Nov. 21st, 2007|05:45 pm] |
Here we go! The sequel to The Wakefields of Sweet Valley is sadly not as awesome as that book, and I spent much of my time reading this letting out gloomy sighs. I mean, I loved the last book. But this is like...you know when Rachel started dating Russ on Friends and everyone but her could see that Russ was just an even dorkier version of Ross, but with none of his good qualities? Well, this book is exactly like that.
I have to say, I was surprised at first that this book was even green-lit in the first place, as YA novels with male protagonists are notoriously difficult to sell to teenage girls. This is probably why the cover-designer put Liz and Jessica on the cover along with their ancestors. Also, the guy - Ned Wakefield? - looks like the bastard lovechild of Harrison Ford and David Duchovny. That's hot.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVU #27: Elizabeth and Todd Forever |
[Nov. 15th, 2007|06:26 pm] |
Autobiographical Note: This was, perhaps, my favourite Sweet Valley book when I was twelve. The name! The heartbreak! If only one day I am lucky enough to score a guy who will break up with me when I won't have sex with him, thought young daniellafromage, then surely that will be the happiest day of my life!
I've told this story on my LiveJournal before but I'm going to tell it again here: when I was a preteen, I used to read the SVU books and cry bitter, bitter tears about the epic love between Elizabeth and Todd, while listening to Turn Back Time by Aqua. I'm not proud of myself, you guys, but that's the way it was. I remember wondering, misty-eyed, whether the Aqua songwriters were big Sweet Valley fans. How else, I thought to myself, could they sum up Liz and Todd's relationship so succinctly?
As you can probably guess, I'm pretty excited about this one!
Who is that guy on the cover? I mean, obviously it's Todd. But it's clearly not either of the Todds from the TV show. He's kind of cute, although his hair isn't floppy enough. This dude clearly isn't into whales and calligraphy. He doesn't even punch anyone in this book! I dub this Todd "Bizarro Todd". However, I'm geekily excited to see that whoever did the costuming remembered to give Liz a watch.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVT #64 The Charm School Mystery |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|08:58 pm] |
If you're a con artist and you're looking for an easy mark, where do you go? New York? Please. Too streetwise. Orange County? You might meet Marissa. Sweet Valley? Oh yes. It's full of rich naive people.
How do you do this - a pyramid scheme? Charity? No - you decide to open a charm school, only to be foiled by a group of meddling kids.
( Read more... ) |
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| SVH #86: Jessica Against Bruce |
[Nov. 1st, 2007|03:29 am] |
This is up later than I said that it would be. Sorry! I've been busy with uni work all day. You know some days when you wake up and all you want to do is build a time machine, travel back in time, and murder each and every critic who has ever written anything about Hobbes' theory of laughter in the most horrible way possible? TODAY WAS ONE OF THOSE DAYS.
In my recap of The Middle School Gets Married, I suggested that the ghost-writer was writing Bruce as though he were Danny from Grease. To my horror, I see that the cover artist for SVH apparently read that book, loved it, agreed with Bruce's characterisation whole-heartedly, and decided to take the idea and run with it when drawing the cover for Jessica Against Bruce. Just look at it. Bruce looks like he's about to burst into the chorus of Summer Lovin'. (Jessica, appropriately, looks like Sandy post-makeover.)
( Read on! ) |
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| Sweet Valley Saga Magna Edition: The Wakefields of Sweet Valley (Part Two) |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|02:05 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alice wakefield, boyfriend stealing, dead boyfriend alert, instant celebrity status, magna edition, major continuity errors, ned wakefield, recapper: daniellafromage, strange view of europe, twin switch, underage drinking | ] |
Previously on The Wakefields of Sweet Valley: After escaping from the San Francisco earthquake of 1906, Jessamyn Watson, former circus bareback rider, gave birth to a set of twins.
( Flappers, bootleggers, Nazis, espionage, hippies, and Hank Patman wearing bell-bottoms. Read on! ) |
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| SVT #46 Mademoiselle Jessica |
[Oct. 17th, 2007|11:04 am] |
This is one of my favourite SVT books, because it’s so damn ridiculous, and for once doesn’t involve anyone getting tormented. I forgot how little the essay competition features in the book – I suppose they had to allow time for judging and so forth.
( Read more... ) |
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| SVT #33 Elizabeth's New Hero |
[Oct. 7th, 2007|10:14 am] |
or Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of East Germany.
Following in the trend of Elizabeth welcoming foreigners to America, here’s another inexplicably attractive exchange student dazzled by the every-day life of Sweet Valley.
( Read more... ) |
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happy
