| Sweet Valley Kids #5: Jessica's Cat Trick |
[Aug. 9th, 2008|06:13 pm] |
Sweet Valley Kids #5: Jessica's Cat Trick
This book is yet another patch in the quilt of Jessica Wakefield's love-hate relationship with animals. In this book, she (hearts) cats. In others, she'd just as soon run them over with her Jeep. Then again, she feels the same way about her twin sister, so...
Here we see Jess and Liz with Misty, their secret cat. I am very amused that the girls have a shoebox that actually says "shoes" on the side instead of, for example, a brand name like most shoeboxes. Unless it really says "hoes," but that joke really belongs in SVH.
( Everything is better with LOLCats! ) |
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| Sweet Valley University #57: Who Knew? |
[Jul. 29th, 2008|10:34 pm] |
Sweet Valley University #57: Who Knew?
In which Elizabeth Wakefield demonstrates the techniques she learned from all of her past stalkers and my apathy for Sam—Burgess, not Woodruff—grows ever larger.
I'm not entirely sure which twin is supposed to be on the cover, but I assume it's Jessica because it's the same model, in the same outfit, as on the cover of Jessica's Secret Diary Volume III. Which is really lazy, considering the character has supposedly aged about three years between the two books. It does appear that they flipped the picture, because the part is on the other side. Someone spent a whole fifteen seconds with MS Paint.
My favorite part about this cover, though? The girl's roots are showing. It could be that cuffs and collar don't match on the twins, but I'd like to think it's Margo. Hi, Margo!
( Strangely, the word 'gaydar' doesn't show up until page 139. ) |
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| Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven's Enemy |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|10:55 pm] |
Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven's Enemy
So the book boils down to this: everyone's mad at someone, but no one punches anyone. I wish this book were called "Todd's Enemy."
I cannot get over the cover of this one. First, we have Jessica tilting her hips and making that saucy little "fluttering fingers" wave. She's a twelve-year-old tart. Steven, on the other hand, is rocking the rolled-up sleeves like he just stepped out of The Outsiders. And then there's Ben in the middle, who not only looks like he's posing awkwardly for a picture but is standing with his back to us. I suppose the artist couldn't be bothered to come up with a face for the poor guy?
( Anger, anger, everywhere, but not a fist to punch... )
Okay, so I might have gone overboard with the punching jokes. But when a book has that much rage in it, is it too much to ask for someone to get it in the eye? |
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| The Elizabeth Series, #5: Max's Choice |
[Jun. 2nd, 2008|09:16 pm] |
The Elizabeth Series, #5: Max's Choice
No, the choice is not fish or chicken. Nor is it cake or death. Max does have to pick out stationery at one point, though, which frankly is more interesting than the actual choice: Elizabeth or his fiancée, Lavinia. As if there's any suspense there, considering he's choosing between a Wakefield and a non-Wakefield. If Lavinia were a size ten, this series wouldn't have made it past the first book.
The cover art looks as though it was drawn by a nine-year-old. Max's lips freak me right the hell out, and Liz looks like she's about to squeeze his boob.
( I kid you not, the word 'bloody' appears thirty-seven times in this book. Tell me that wasn't intentional. ) |
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| The Unicorn Club # 13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn? |
[Apr. 12th, 2008|12:10 pm] |
The Unicorn Club # 13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn?
I should start by pointing out that there is no Miss Unicorn pageant, so I don't know what the deal is with the title. Maybe "Who Will Be the Winner of the Sweet Valley Princess Beauty Pageant?" wouldn't fit on the cover.
Sorry about the crappy picture quality; it was the best I could do. The girls are wearing the dresses as they're described in the book, though, and are (from left to right) Ellen, Lila, Jessica, Kimberly, and bitchface Mandy. I find it hard to believe that Lila Fowler would allow the other girls to stand in front of her like that, blocking her awesomeness. Maybe this is only seconds before she leaps forward, clawing her way past the others. I'd like to see that cover.
( Mandy learns the truth at thirteen, that snark was meant for beauty queens... ) |
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| SVU Thriller Edition #14 – Deadly Terror: The Return of William White, Part II |
[Apr. 1st, 2008|04:31 pm] |
SVU Thriller Edition #14 – Deadly Terror: The Return of William White, Part II
This book concludes a two-part thriller edition story arc that began in CyberStalker: The Return of William White, Part I, and the title pretty much sums it up: William White returns and stalks Elizabeth in CyberLand. It's...about as silly as it sounds.
On the cover we see Elizabeth fleeing the giant half-head of William White. She's totally running like a girl. Yeah, I don't like the phrase either, but it's the only way I can describe it.
( But he seemed so nice before he tried to kill me multiple times! ) |
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| SVU Thriller Edition #13 - CyberStalker: The Return of William White, Part I |
[Mar. 20th, 2008|11:55 pm] |
SVU Thriller Edition #13 - CyberStalker: The Return of William White, Part I
First recap ever for me! This one's going to be pretty easy because, come on, it's William White. Snarking on crazy racist psychotic murderers is fish in the barrel.
So, there's the cover. Elizabeth is in a virtual reality get-up that serves to remind us all that these books were published in the late 90's. She's apparently stroking giant William White's hair and looking scared about it. He must have split ends.
( William White is back (again) and this time...it's computer-generated! ) |
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| New meat! |
[Mar. 12th, 2008|05:19 pm] |
I picked up twelve SV books for about $20 at the local used bookstore today. I wanted to post the titles so that if anyone's planning to recap them, they can let me know. I know doubles are welcomed, but I don't want to steal anyone's thunder by posting before someone else. If anyone's got one of these in the works, just tell me and I'll hold off until yours is posted!
Sweet Valley Kids #5: Jessica's Cat Trick
Sweet Valley Kids #7: Jessica's Big Mistake
Sweet Valley Kids #8: Jessica's Zoo Adventure
Sweet Valley Kids #22: Sweet Valley Slumber Party
Sweet Valley Twins #82: Steven's Enemy
Sweet Valley Twins Super Edition #7: Jessica's Animal Instincts
The Unicorn Club #13: Who Will Be Miss Unicorn?
The Unicorn Club #16: Bon Voyage, Unicorns!
The Unicorn Club #17: Boyfriends for Everyone
Jessica's Secret Diary Volume III
Sweet Valley University #57: Who Knew?
Sweet Valley University Thriller Edition: The Return of William White, Part I |
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