| Sweet Valley University #33: Out of the Picture |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|08:01 pm] |
Sweet Valley University #33: Out of the Picture
So after three books of jerking the reader around with random beach shenanigans in SVU 30-32, SVU finally returns to the main plotline for this book. As you may recall, Todd's girlfriend Gin just died.
( We open at the funeral! ) |
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| SVH #127: Dance of Death |
[Jun. 12th, 2008|11:56 pm] |
Previously on Sweet Valley High: The Masquerade!
- Jonathan "Charisma Vacuum" Cain moved to Sweet Valley and charmed all the girls and boys away from their suntanning sessions like a vampiric Pied Piper;
- Among the girls hypnotized by him was Jessica "To Hell With Waiting For My Boyfriends To Die" Wakefield. After chasing after him for the entire book to no avail, she sneaked out of the house in defiance of her sister and made out with him anyway;
- Elizabeth "Two Boys, One Chastity Belt" Wakefield cheated on Todd "Punch" Wilkins for the zillionth time, but it came back to bite her in the ass when her summer fling moved to California to be with her. When she saw a news report about a dead blonde girl and Jessica was nowhere to be found, she called Todd to help her out - only for Joey to show up instead with a cool ride and a set of hot lips;
- Meanwhile, Enid "Boring" Rollins felt neglected by Liz and decided to run away to the mall and become a goth;
- Finally, daniella "What The Actual Fucking Fuck Were You Thinking, Francine Pascal?" fromage fell into a coma. Twice.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVH #126: Tall, Dark and Deadly |
[Jun. 8th, 2008|12:18 pm] |
Yeah, you guys. It's the one where Jessica dates a vampire. Ready the hard liquor.
( Read on. ) |
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| SVH Super Thriller FEAR: A Killer on Board |
[May. 12th, 2008|05:10 pm] |
Hey, remember when Ned was a terrible(r than usual father) and the SVPD was inept(er than usual) in the last book? And then John Marin got locked up and everyone was like, "Ha ha ha, he's gone forever and we're going to be a-okay?" Yeah, they're totally not. This book is resplendent with a blatant disregard for protocol by virtually every tertiary character. Seriously, they make the camp counselors in Montana look capable.
Covah!
Look at those waves! They're so treacherous! And that is the biggest window I've ever seen on a boat. Through it we can see a horrified Liz and Jess. Also, do those little (big?) windows REALLY open? Especially out? This is all a little suspect to me. Are there any sailors out there who can verify this? When you open the cover, the scene is actually one from the book! Jess and Liz are wearing the outfits described, the water glass is knocked over, and Marin's even wearing a flannel shirt while brandishing his knife. Marin's got that floppy Dawson circa season 1 hair going on.
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| SVH Super Thriller FEAR: A Stranger in the House |
[May. 5th, 2008|01:44 pm] |
A Stranger in the House: Or "What My Family Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Them....Even Though it Might Kill Them."
Cover! This was a super special double cover. The top part has the prison bars, and the inside shows John being all super evil with photos of the Wakefield twins in his cell. Okay. There's a photo of Jess cheering from the cover of Jessica Quits the Squad (how embarrassing that the newspaper captured her effing up!), Liz & Jess in bikinis under a waterfall. FAIL. They just recolored Lila's hair from here. There are also two drawings at the top of Jess and Liz walking with John. Magically, John has traveled into the future, photographed these moments, and hung them up on his cell.
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| Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: Return of the Evil Twin |
[Mar. 6th, 2008|02:43 pm] |
Sweet Valley High Magna Edition: Return of the Evil Twin
Oh, Crazy Margo. I just can’t quit you.
If you’re fuzzy on Margo’s backstory, check out the recaps of A Night to Remember and books 95-100. It’s really too much to summarize here.
The cover:
 | The angel's head is broken off! Spooooky!
The inside flap:
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Okay, I’m sorry, but Jessica’s room does not look like a Hershey Bar. It looks like a Wild West bordello. I don’t know why she’s wearing black tights with her nightgown. That’ll have to stay a mystery. And also, not to spoil anything, but Jess's chest should be ripped to bloody shreads. There's not a stab wound in sight! Let’s begin!
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| Sweet Valley University: Wanted for Murder, part II |
[Jan. 3rd, 2008|11:15 pm] |
This is me pretending to be horrfied by the 'enthralling' book!
Merry belated Christmas! Here is Part 2 of 3 in the *cough* heart-pounding *cough* SVU Thriller, 'Wanted for Murder'. Sorry I didn't get it up sooner! I was sick for a few days!
(When I was a kid, I thought 'heart-pounding' was teh kewlest of phrases)...er...
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| Sweet Valley University: Wanted for Murder, part 1 |
[Dec. 20th, 2007|08:31 am] |
Once again, the twins find themselves in mortal danger from Jessica's stupidity. She's as sipid and shallow as she was in high school, I see.
I hate to criticize people, but those girls sure don't look like the (said) hottest girls in California. Well, on to the book... |
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| Sweet Valley University #6; The Love of Her Life |
[Dec. 8th, 2007|08:25 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | billie the girl, crazy celine, crazy william, enid "alex" rollins, mike mcallery, murder, oh hi steven, omg teh sex!, recapper: strangerface, svu, tom watts, trusty boyfriend todd, underage drinking, winston egbert | ] |
Okay, so when I was younger I was all about the Liz/Todd OTP but as soon as SVU came along, I threw Todd under the bus for Tom Watts. That's right, L/(other)T was my OTP. I'm not proud. Especially when I learned from ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) daniellafromage's recap that Tom kinda turned out to be a dick. But whatever. I didn't read that far into the the series.
Sweet Valley University #6: The Love of Her Life
The cover shows a very toothy Elizabeth in a horrid top hugging Tom. Tom kinda reminds me of Jason from Power Rangers (Hey, I just admitted to the Liz/Tom OTP, the shame can't get much greater at making a Power Rangers reference, can it?).
( The book opens with Jessica, Mike, Steven, Billie the Girl and SHOOTING! Fun! )
( But the heart of the story is Elizabeth, Tom Watts, Crazy William, Crazy Celine, and the Racist Secret Society! )
( Meanwhile, Todd refuses to take a hint. )
( While End/Alex )( and Winston also have minor sub-plots ) |
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| Sweet Valley High #100: The Evil Twin |
[Nov. 24th, 2007|01:59 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | alice wakefield, boyfriend stealing, crazy margo, dead boyfriend alert, doppelgangland, holidays, magna edition, murder, ned wakefield, oh hi steven, omg teh sex!, recapper: irinaauthor, saint elizabeth of sweet valley, sweet valley high, todd punch, trusty boyfriend todd, winter break | ] |
When the lovely, talented daniellafromage recapped The Unicorns Go Hawaiian, she started by warning everyone that it was probably the best Sweet Valley Twins book ever, and she wasn’t wrong.
Well. Now it’s my turn, because The Evil Twin is the greatest achievement in Sweet Valley High. If Sweet Valley had its own Pulitzer category, this book not only would have won in 1993, but also every single year since then, because it’s just that awesome. I actually stopped reading the series after its sequel, Return of the Evil Twin, because I knew things would only go downhill from there. How could anyone ever hope to top Crazy Margo?
Here’s the cover. You all know it.
And the inside flap. Elizabeth looks like Jessica, and Margo looks like she’s about to correct Liz’s grammar. She has the prissy expression down cold. In the top inset, the twins look like two glum forty year olds. In the bottom inset, it looks like Todd has been clubbed to death with an Oscar.
I am quite looking forward to finding out why George Fowler keeps an Oscar in his guest room, since that’s where the Todd assault happens. I’m sure there’s an excellent explanation.
( The Longest Ten Seconds in the History of the World )
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| SVT #99: The Beast Must Die |
[Nov. 11th, 2007|03:56 pm] |
Heh, so it's time for #99, The Beast Must Die. When I first read the titles for these books I remember thinking the twins were suddenly into hunting (beasts - gettit?) or something, but moving on.......
#97: Too Scared to Sleep
#98: The Beast it Watching You
One would suggest everybody reads the above recaps if they haven't previously, to remind themselves of what is going on....
As a special treat I'm gonna show both covers. Personally, I have the British, modern pooh-poohey covers, but I like the American ones so let us have a snark at both, I thought!
 
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| Sweet Valley High #98: The Wedding |
[Nov. 2nd, 2007|12:52 am] |
Sweet Valley High #98: The Wedding
In which Miss Lila Fowler rules all.
But damn that bridesmaid dress is ugly. And her dad looks like George Hamilton. The people at the tanning salon need to cut him off.
Also, check Jess out in the inset. HA! Someone’s looking mighty trashy and pleased with herself! On a completely unrelated note, they say the word molest a lot in this book. |
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| Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: No Place to Hide |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|10:30 pm] |
Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: No Place to Hide
Elizabeth and Jessica are still interns at the Sweet Valley News. That means more crime! Yay!
I don’t know why, but Liz’s barrettes look especially dumb on this cover. |
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| Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: Double Jeopardy |
[Oct. 28th, 2007|03:39 pm] |
Sweet Valley High Super Thriller: Double Jeopardy
For our Halloween week!
This book was sitting on the bed, and my husband saw it and said, “Oh my God, are they trying to put her on trial again?” HA!
In case you’re interested, I think it’s called Double Jeopardy because the twins are in jeopardy and there are two of them. Clever!
Also, Liz's outfit is fug.
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| SVH Super Edition: Murder in Paradise |
[Sep. 28th, 2007|11:32 pm] |
This book has murder and shallowness in it, a first for Sweet Valley High's favorite girls.
Kidding, kidding.
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apathetic
exhausted
