| SVT #66- The Great Boyfriend Switch |
[Jul. 23rd, 2008|12:54 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | aaron dallas, amy sutton, boyfriend stealing, bruce patman, cheating cheaters, dance!, ellen riteman, ken matthews, makeovers, matchmaking, miss lila fowler, party!, recapper: margowashere, sweet valley twins, trusty boyfriend todd, twin switch, unicorns | ] |
The switch? It's not that great...
( Mixed-up romance... ) |
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| SVH #139: Elizabeth Is Mine |
[Jul. 11th, 2008|07:33 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | boyfriend stealing, bruce patman, cheating cheaters, devon whitelaw, mr. collins if you're nasty, recapper: daphne_23, sociopathic jessica, sweet valley high, the stranger (mini series), todd punch, trusty boyfriend todd | ] |
Previously: The infamous Devon Whitelaw finally arrived in Sweet Valley, causing Jessica to pursue him sociopathically and Liz to cheat on Todd. But did anything actually happen, you ask. No, not really! |
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| SVH #138: What Jessica Wants... |
[Jul. 5th, 2008|11:41 am] |
Or, the One In Which Devon Finally Arrives at SVH. I used to be a Devon fan, but having re-read this, I found him highly irritating. I still think his character does a U-turn from Earthquake onwards, but that doesn’t stop him being manipulative and plain stalkerish in this book. Both Jessica and Elizabeth also showcase the most annoying sides of their personalities here. In fact, the person who comes out best (while being the most badly treated) is… Todd! |
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| Junior Prom #2, or SVH #142 The Big Night |
[Jun. 23rd, 2008|02:35 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | boyfriend stealing, cheating cheaters, devon whitelaw, doormat syndrome, i declare shenanigans, major continuity errors, miss lila fowler, party!, prom arc, recapper: carolyn_keene, saint elizabeth of sweet valley, scheming jessica, sweet valley high, trusty boyfriend todd, twin switch | ] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | M St., NW | ] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | accomplished | ] |
So, this is my first recap so be gentle, readers! I apologize in advance if it doesn’t live up to the standards set forth by those who’ve come before me!
Okay, enough of the disclaimer…on with the snark!
Actually, the biggest thing to snark on is how this is SVH’s second junior prom. We all remember what happened last time, but one else in Sweet Valley does and I found myself yelling at the characters to remember the magical vodka and poor, dead Sam Woodruff. |
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| SVU Secret Love Diaries: Elizabeth |
[Jun. 22nd, 2008|07:10 pm] |
Here it is! Sorry it took so long to get up, but oh my good God, Elizabeth bored me to tears. Tears, people! I groaned every time I picked the book up to read more. I am definitely not a fan of Liz. The cover’s so blah. There’s a headshot of one of the Daniel twins, blowed if I know which one, but obviously it’s meant to be Liz – she even has a sparkly barrette in her hair! Sincerely, I always thought the Daniel twins were pretty, so I really have no problem with the cover. |
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| SVH Special Edition: Elizabeth's Secret Diary, Volume 2 |
[Jun. 21st, 2008|05:33 pm] |
I'm taking a break from Jonathan the Glorious Sparkling Vampire to recap Elizabeth's Secret Diary Volume 2.
I was slightly older when I read the secret diaries for the first time, and had been spoiled by other fictional diarists. While I wasn't exactly expecting Sweet Valley's answer to Bridget Jones - cigarettes 12, dead boyfriends 3 (v.g.) - I remember being extremely let-down that that wily Francine Pascal was basically selling me condensed versions of books I'd already read. I'm not sure what her intentions were, really. Perhaps she just had her eye on a fancy new diving board for her money vault, so she could swim through her hoards of gold like Scrooge McDuck.
Fortunately, they all had a fabulous cheating subplot, so let's get on with that. The back cover promises "true confessions", "classic moments", and a "painful decision" in Liz's life. Intriguing stuff.
( Read on! ) |
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| SVU Secret Love Diaries: Chloe |
[Jun. 18th, 2008|04:53 pm] |
Okay, so I’ve been a member for a while but resisted writing my own recap because I have been unable to find any SV books and everyone has been so damn witty lately that I wasn’t sure if how I’d scrub up in comparison. But I felt compelled to bring you this awful, awful, wonderful book. Between the endless repetition, jarring continuity errors, and new millennium pop culture references, it’s possibly the best SV book ever. The only thing that really lets it down is the complete lack of Jessica and Lila’s presence (wait, come back!) There is only a tiny picture on the cover of what I presume is Chloe, I can't decide if she's really attractive or crazy ugly, well I guess Tyra would like her. For brevity’s sake, I’ll try to keep things succinct. I know about the cut thing through bsc-snark but hope I get the tags right, I;m sure I've left out vital info but please let me know :) |
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| SVH #127: Dance of Death |
[Jun. 12th, 2008|11:56 pm] |
Previously on Sweet Valley High: The Masquerade!
- Jonathan "Charisma Vacuum" Cain moved to Sweet Valley and charmed all the girls and boys away from their suntanning sessions like a vampiric Pied Piper;
- Among the girls hypnotized by him was Jessica "To Hell With Waiting For My Boyfriends To Die" Wakefield. After chasing after him for the entire book to no avail, she sneaked out of the house in defiance of her sister and made out with him anyway;
- Elizabeth "Two Boys, One Chastity Belt" Wakefield cheated on Todd "Punch" Wilkins for the zillionth time, but it came back to bite her in the ass when her summer fling moved to California to be with her. When she saw a news report about a dead blonde girl and Jessica was nowhere to be found, she called Todd to help her out - only for Joey to show up instead with a cool ride and a set of hot lips;
- Meanwhile, Enid "Boring" Rollins felt neglected by Liz and decided to run away to the mall and become a goth;
- Finally, daniella "What The Actual Fucking Fuck Were You Thinking, Francine Pascal?" fromage fell into a coma. Twice.
( Read on! ) |
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| The Dullest Killing Spree in the History of the World (Otherwise known as #125 Camp Killer) |
[Jun. 10th, 2008|12:28 am] |
This book is beyond awesome! We open with the junior counselors rioting in outrage due to the great injustices perpetuated upon a Wakefield by Draconian Overlord Lacey. Lacey refuses to cease and desist her evil, horrendous behavior, leading the junior counselors to destroy the camp in a wood-chopping frenzy. All of the adults flee the camp in fear, leaving the junior counselors to fend for themselves in the camp that they destroyed. A relentless wood-chopping maniac terrorizes the teens and Diz and Nicole each claim leadership, splitting the junior counselors into two warring factions. No amount of conch-shell blowing or wood-chopping can sew this rift! Nicole pushes Diz into the pool and the book ends with the junior counselors ultimately sacrificing Winston.
I do apologize! I was having an ( episode... ) |
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| SVH #126: Tall, Dark and Deadly |
[Jun. 8th, 2008|12:18 pm] |
Yeah, you guys. It's the one where Jessica dates a vampire. Ready the hard liquor.
( Read on. ) |
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| Sweet Valley University #29: One Last Kiss |
[May. 30th, 2008|06:30 pm] |
Sweet Valley University #29: One Last Kiss
For those of you who don't read my personal journal: a few days ago I ordered a Sweet Valley book had had it rush delivered to my apartment. Why? Because it was an emergency, that's why. A fucking Sweet Valley emergency. I had never read this far into SVU and when I heard about this plot, I needed the book.
If you (like me) didn't read this far, you should go read ![[info]](http://p-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) daniellafromage's recap of SVU #27: Elizabeth and Todd Forever. That'll get you mostly caught up since there's only one book between these two. Basically: Todd got back with Liz even though he was dating someone else. Whoops!
As we know from the fate of Regina Morrow, once your boyfriend starts kissing someone else it's time for you to die.
( I SAID DIE ALREADY! ) |
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| SVH #102 - Almost Married |
[May. 24th, 2008|04:25 pm] |
“I’m sorry, Todd, but it’s really too hot for this.”
This opening line sums up the entire book. This plot really IS too hot for Sweet Valley High or Liz to handle. And yet I love it! Liz LIVES with Todd!! Liz MAKES OUT with Bruce – in front of Todd!!! What’s not to love?!? And since when did Liz start having the badass plots in these books?!?!? Forgive me for a boring beginning in this recap, but it starts off slow. Like Liz. Just trust me, it’s worth it! |
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| SVH #101 - The Boyfriend War |
[May. 21st, 2008|08:48 pm] |
The Boyfriend War is phenomenal on two levels. It contains possibly the greatest Jessica/Lila plot of all time AND quite possibly the nerdiest Liz plot in the series. And that’s saying a lot because, as we all know, Liz plots usually suck. (Am I the only one who thought, back in the day, that Liz was cool? How wrong I was…)
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| Sweet Valley University #30: Beauty and the Beach |
[May. 16th, 2008|11:30 pm] |
Sweet Valley University #30: Beauty and the Beach
This is the first book in the second “Lifeguards” series of SVU. If you had asked me a week ago if there was such a mini-series, I would've told you that you were high. No one would be stupid enough to put their life in Jessica and Elizabeth's hands once, let alone on two separate occasions. Those girls have killers shadowing their every move! But here we have it. SVU: Lifeguards. I looked at the cover and thought it was a Baywatch rip-off. My sister saw the cover and commented that it was like that time the characters on Saved By the Bell became lifeguards. In any case, it's a rip-off of someone, but I'll let you pick.
Luckily for me, the first part of the first “Lifeguards” mini-series has been recapped already by julieannie here. What's weird to me is that book was about 10 books previous to this one, and now it's the next summer. It took 100+ books to cover one year in Sweet Valley High but only ten to over a year in SVU. This is not the SV time warp I know and love. Frankly, I'm a little insulted that the editors decided to do SVU in something closer to real time. I don't like realism in my Sweet Valley.
From left to right we have: Theo, Elizabeth (maybe Jessica?), Ryan (Ben?), Jessica (Elizabeth?), Ben (Ryan?), Miranda and Priya
No Nina or Winston even though they're the only series regulars to appear in this book along with the twins. Discrimination!!
( Baywatch Action! ) |
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| SVU #21: For the Love of Ryan |
[May. 12th, 2008|01:52 pm] |
| [ | Tags | | | boyfriend stealing, cheating cheaters, lifeguard series, matchmaking, recapper: julieannie, scheming jessica, summer break, summer love, svu, tom watts, winston egbert | ] |
On the cover, Liz is in the hat and Jess is in the really high shorts and Ryan is the lifeguard
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| SVH Super Thriller FEAR: A Stranger in the House |
[May. 5th, 2008|01:44 pm] |
A Stranger in the House: Or "What My Family Doesn't Know Won't Hurt Them....Even Though it Might Kill Them."
Cover! This was a super special double cover. The top part has the prison bars, and the inside shows John being all super evil with photos of the Wakefield twins in his cell. Okay. There's a photo of Jess cheering from the cover of Jessica Quits the Squad (how embarrassing that the newspaper captured her effing up!), Liz & Jess in bikinis under a waterfall. FAIL. They just recolored Lila's hair from here. There are also two drawings at the top of Jess and Liz walking with John. Magically, John has traveled into the future, photographed these moments, and hung them up on his cell.
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| SVU Thriller Edition #7: What Winston Saw |
[Apr. 24th, 2008|11:45 am] |
The blurb starts off with, "Winston Egbert wishes he'd never been tempted by sexy Amanda Franklin's long legs and sophisticated ways [...] but Amanda saw something horrible from the bedroom window that night,” though those with an attention span of more than a mere two seconds will recall the title of this book is What Winston Saw. Lies, all lies. Unless Amanda is Winston! What a twist that would be! And all that sophisticated talk and legs? Well, let's just say his time in the female dorms brought out another side to Winston. Ghostwriter, why have you forsaken us?
( lots of plotting, stalking and the usual crazy talk ) |
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| Sweet Valley High #87: My Best Friend's Boyfriend |
[Apr. 20th, 2008|06:29 pm] |
Sweet Valley High # 87: My Best Friend’s Boyfriend
I would say that some ghostwriter saw The Truth About Cats and Dogs and got inspired, but this book came out four years before that movie. Must just be a coincidence, then.
Though the guy isn’t much to write home about. That’s okay, the genius of this book is in the B Plot.
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| Elizabeth is such a B***h. Part 2 |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|03:30 am] |
Elizabeth's Secret Diary Volume 3 The story continues. I used to like Elizabeth when I was younger. Then I read this and realized she is worse than Jessica. She is a two faced lying cheater. Ok it's 3:30 am and I am off to bed. Enjoy. |
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| Elizabeth at her worst.Part 1 |
[Apr. 19th, 2008|03:18 am] |
Part 1 ELIZABETH’S SECRET DIARY. Volume 3. I don’t have a picture of the cover of the book. This takes place between books 71 and 82. All except 79 and 80 have been recapped. I don’t know how to do the linky thing so you will have to go to the info page if you want to read them. Sorry. Oh the intrigue. Don't worry you wont have to wait long for part two. |
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content
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irritated