...I'll tell you at the end. By which time you will already know the answers anyway, having read the recap. Haha! Eat shit!

‘The Pom-Pom Wars’ begins exactly where the previous book left off – with Jess crying her pacific blue-green eyes out on a Saturday night over the pictures of Liz and Ken Matthews kissing. Jessica’s mixed reactions while snooping through Liz’s diary: “…The diary really started to get juicy. Jessica scowled. It would be fun to read, if the boy Elizabeth was writing about was anyone but Ken…! Half of her wanted to hurl the diary across the room; the other half couldn’t tear her eyes from the page. She had to read each and every gory detail”. Correct me if I’m wrong (I’m an only child), but it’s a little gross to get so immersed in your sister’s passions, isn’t it?

There are lots of accurate excerpts from Elizabeth’s Secret Diary in here. It was probably some sort of marketing ploy to sell more copies of the Secret Diaries (I think they came out around this time), but I was pretty impressed with the continuity. I love this: “(From Liz’s diary) ‘Stay away from Ken? Who was I kidding? I might as well tell the ocean to stop crashing on the shore’. Jessica snorted. “ ‘Tell the ocean to stop crashing on the shore’? Ugh, Liz, you are so corny. How did Ken stand it?” I bet Jessica would have voted ‘no’ in this. 

And sorry for all the excerpts (there's tons in this recap), but Ken apparently said to Elizabeth: “You’re the sweetest, most beautiful girl I know, I think about you every minute of the day, I adore you”. Yikes! These 16-year-old Sweet Valley boys sure do know about devotion. Unless they find out that their girlfriends have been having the sex, of course. Or thinking about the sex. Then they dump them like gutter trash (Bruce, I’m looking at you. And future Ken, you too, with the Olivia portrait stuff).

Jessica mentally recaps the previous book, and scarily emos to herself: “If I’m not a cheerleader, I’m nothing and nobody,” Jessica mourned. “All I’ve got is Ken, and it turns out Liz had him first!” Wow, Jessica. Where’s your self worth? Do you think the producers of ‘Bring it On’ read this miniseries before they made the movie? ‘Cos I know Torrance says something about how without cheerleading, she’s nothing. These girls need to take a comprehensive Women’s Studies course at college or something. And the writers are at fault too. It’s not like the girls learn to be independent and strong and find a new hobby or something…they just end up with better guys (or, the same guy in Jessica’s case) and get back into cheerleading with a splash. Okay, what am I expecting here? A non-stereotypical portrayal of American teenage girls? This is Sweet Valley High. Even Moe Szyslak makes fun of it. Onwards…

Jess finally realizes that Elizabeth still harbors a secret pants-tickle for Ken, and that’s why she has been acting so weird – she’s jealous of her. This apparently gives Jessica a big emotional boost (a bit sociopathic there, taking pleasure in your sister's misery? Though with a sister like Elizabeth, I suppose, how could you not?) Jess decides that Ken does love only her and is over Elizabeth, and thinks that she might have some fun with the whole situation…especially given that Todd obviously never found out about the affair. Now that’s the resourceful, manipulative, scheming Jessica I love!

We flip to Elizabeth’s point of view. She’s at a post-football-game party, feeling bad that Jessica can’t be there to celebrate with all her friends. Liz, Todd, Maria and Sandy mope about how awful Heather is, and how lame it is that Jessica’s friends have abandoned her in favour of Heather. Heather comes over and is rude about Jessica. Elizabeth moons over Ken, but realizes Ken loves Jessica sincerely and that she (Elizabeth) is the only one these days with something to hide.

Jessica reads more of Liz’s diary, getting to the bit where Elizabeth has to choose between Jeffrey and Todd. Jess marketing ploys, “The diary was better than a romance novel!”…Subtle. Subliminal (okay, liminal) message: buy the damn secret diaries. Ken calls and insists on seeing Jessica right now – he has a proposition for her. When he arrives, instead of propositioning sex or a blow job like a normal 16-year-old guy, he proposes Jessica forms her own cheerleading squad. This is actually a really good idea. Way to go, Ken. Jessica protests that there probably can only be one cheerleading squad at SVH, but this is glossed over until they both come to the conclusion that new squad = yay!

Elizabeth makes out with Todd while thinking of Ken. Again. (She did this in the last book)

Jessica wakes up bright and early on Sunday morning, and the Wakefields are surprised to see her so chipper. She tells them all about Ken’s idea, and Mrs. Wakefield calls it ‘marvelous’. Ned jokes that Jess should recruit Elizabeth. Liz says she’d rather floss with barbed wire than be a cheerleader. In revenge, Jessica totally smushes her relationship with Ken in Elizabeth’s face, and notes that Liz turns slightly green. It’s pretty great seeing Saint Elizabeth squirm like this.

Then Amy calls and squeals to Jessica that “Heather’s” squad just made it to the regional cheerleading championships *angry face*. Damn you and your shitty lack of loyalty, Amy! First you dump Elizabeth for Jessica! Then Jessica for Heather! Then later, Jessica again, for Melissa! You’re a bitch, Amy, a two-faced bitch! No wonder Tom Mc Kay turned out gay! *Deep breathes*

Amy suggests to Jess that she could probably still be on “Heather’s” squad if she just apologized. Jess is furious, and refuses. I seriously don’t get Amy’s reasoning. If you’re gonna abandon a friend for someone else, you don’t still call them and tell them good news and stuff like that. It’s like she’s so dumb that she can’t even see what an asshole she’s being. She’s meant to be one of Jessica’s closest friends!

Elizabeth and Enid (yawn) hang out by the pool and chat. Liz is desperate to talk to someone about the Ken situation and tries to bring it up to Enid. But I guess she can’t stand the thought of even her best friend knowing that she isn’t destined for Sainthood, so she ends up lying and saying she’s just a little jealous of the newness of Ken and Jessica’s relationship. Enid soothes Elizabeth by telling her how she and Todd’s relationship is deeper and more real, and has stood the test of time. It certainly has…it’s been, what, five Christmases now? Ten summers? Twelve thousand breakups? Seriously, since this is still (in SVH alterna-time) their junior year, Liz and Todd have been together less than a year, with numerous breakups. Everyone always goes on about how they’re as boring as bread and butter, but it never seemed that stable a relationship to me, what with the fights and angst every other book!

Jess and Ken frolic on the beach, kissing and flirty-bantering. He mentions that she’s wearing a “totally hot black string bikini”. For some reason this whole makey-outy scene seemed really risqué and scandalous to me as a kid. Jess tries to coax Ken into confessing about the Elizabeth affair, but he doesn’t, and Jessica decides that she trusts him and that she’ll leave it in the past. Well done, Jessica. Jess asks Ken what he thinks of the idea of Elizabeth as a cheerleader. He can’t picture it. Can you see what Jess is cooking up? (Oh, let’s face it, Helen Keller could see it by now)

Jessica and Ken stop at the Dairi Burger and see Heather there. Instead of slinking away all humiliated, Jessica walks over and congratulates Heather on making regionals, and makes herself seem all not-carey. I am proud of her restraint.

When Jessica gets home, she starts teasing Liz about joining her new squad. She stretches the truth and tells Liz that Ken said she was too book-wormy to be a cheerleader. Elizabeth gets angry. Jessica backs down (or so it seems…). Jess calls Lila, Maria and Sandy, and asks them to meet her before homeroom the next day to discuss her top-secret plan. Yay! I LOVE THIS BOOK! =D Hehe, this is my favourite SVH miniseries ever.

Jessica proposes her idea to her friends the next day, and Maria and Sandy are all aboard. But Lila refuses: “Sorry,” said Lila. “There’s a reason I quit the squad myself ages ago. Cheerleading is a bore, and the uniforms are tacky”. Haha, you got served, Jessica! I mean, Lila’s essentially calling you boring and tacky. Jessica manages to talk Lila into it though, by telling her how exciting and innovative the new squad will be, and how they can get hot, cute uniforms. They four will be the foundation of the group. Lila is sold.

They all agree that they want to try to recruit Patty Gilbert and Jade Wu. As we all know, Jade is a talented dancer, and I guess Patty is too. Jess confesses that Liz is on her list of recruits too. Lila finds this hilarious and bets Jessica that Elizabeth will never join the squad. Jessica makes this a real wager, where the loser has to buy new uniforms for the entire squad. The girls shake on it, and just so you all know, Lila holds out a perfectly manicured hand. That’s our girl.

Jessica nabs Patty and Jade at lunch and proposes the cheerleading thing to them. They are reluctant at first. I’d like to note how shy Jade is. This is a far cry from confident SVHSY Jade, but yeah, this has already been noted numerous times. Jess ends up talking the girls into it with her superior convincing skills (she should be on the debate team).

Everyone starts buzzing with the rumor of Jessica’s new squad, and tons of girls want to try out. Heather shoots Jess dagger-looks and whispers jokes to Amy, who laughs hysterically. Um. How does Jessica ever end up back to being friends with Amy again??

That night at Casa Wakefield, Jess once again asks Elizabeth to join the squad. Elizabeth once again refuses. So Jess calmly rephrases the request into “How about this: Please be on my cheerleading squad, Liz or else…I’ll tell Todd about your secret fling with Ken”. Yowza! Liz is all “How’d you find out?” (thereby confessing her guilt), and Jess reveals she read Elizabeth’s diary. Liz is mortified, and calls this “the meanest, nastiest, most underhanded thing” Jessica has ever done. Actually, it isn’t, but Liz probably just thinks it is because it involves (and bothers) her. Liz (extremely begrudgingly) agrees to be on the squad. Jess (awesomely) immediately calls Lila and cheerfully tells her that Liz has something she wants to say. Liz is all “Uh..yeah…I’ve um, decided to ah, be on the squad (kill me please)”. Lila asks Jessica if she’s tied Liz up or is torturing her, but Jess just says that Liz must have changed her mind. Haha, Lila so cottons on that there’s something going on, but of course she can’t really guess what it is. Jess tells Lila which uniforms she should order, and exclaims, “You can order mine in size six!” …That detail was erroneous, ghostwriters!! What is the big bloody deal with size six? Who cares what size they are??

Elizabeth has a nightmare that night. In it, Mr. Collins announces to the newspaper staff that they will no longer be printing the news – they’ll be cheering it!

…LOL!

Liz has to wake up at 6am for the first cheerleading practice, and is all grumpy. Jess is ridiculously cheerful and makes her a power shake for breakfast. The power shake has yogurt, banana, strawberries, a splash of orange juice, and high energy protein powder in it. It sounds nice! Except what doesn’t make sense is that Jess refers to it as ‘low-cal’, but then says it’s ‘high energy’…and something with lots of energy in it would have lots of calories, because, well, that’s what calories are…so…you fail, Jessica.

Jessica is excited to see the crowd that has gathered on the football field that morning. Lila keeps asking her what she did to force Elizabeth to join (Lila’s so smart), but Jess won’t tell her. Jessica tells the cheerleader wanna-bes that they will have these practices every day this week until Friday, when she’ll hold official try outs. She thinks the girls all look good…

That is, until she gets them actually trying out some cheerleader moves. Most of the girls know little to nothing about cheerleading, and can’t do any of the complicated jumps or anything. I don’t know what Jessica was expecting, obviously you would have to train new members of the squad. But yeah, Jess is disappointed. The dancers can do some more complex stuff, but they aren’t peppy enough and don’t smile. Lol. Actually, most competitive dancers would have some idea about ‘giving face’, you don’t just somber-face an audience while dancing! But I guess in Francine Pascal’s world, if you ain’t a cheerleader, you’re a deadpan, beret-wearing, latte-sipping Yoko.

Jessica attempts to raise team morale by getting the girls to pair up and work on herkies, one of the most basic cheerleading jumps. But…no one knows what a herky is. Jessica blows up (not literally!) and yells that they’ll have to figure it out themselves, and then storms away.

For some reason, Saint Elizabeth comes to Jessica’s rescue and tells the girls that Jessica is just over-excited and to come back tomorrow. Everyone nods and smiles because Elizabeth has spoken. Liz can’t believe that she saved Jessica’s hide.

Jessica runs into Ken during her storm-off (and is mortified to realize that he saw her tantrum). He soothes her and talks to her about visualization. Apparently that’s the key to his football success – he envisions himself making plays and winning stuff before it happens! (I wonder if that was a problem when he lost his sight) Wow, I never knew Ken was so new-age deep down. Now his pairing with Olivia makes sense.

At lunch that day, Todd and Enid are flabbergasted to hear that Elizabeth went to Jessica’s cheerleading practice. Elizabeth saints herself by saying she’s just doing it to help Jessica out. The two are like “That’s so noble of you” and Liz is all ‘If they only knew!’

Heather tries to undermine Jessica’s confidence about the shit practice, and it kind of works.

Jess goes to sit with Amy, Annie and Jean (why??), since she hasn’t talked to them in ages, but they’re all “…It’s better if Heather doesn’t see us together” and scurry off. Jessica feels like crying. I want to give her a hug. Don’t worry, Jess, good stuff is around the corner!

Penny asks Elizabeth to write an article about the sparring squads called “The Pom-Pom Wars”. Elizabeth really doesn’t want to, and tries to get out of it by protesting that she won’t be able to be objective, but Penny is all “it doesn’t have to be objective! It’s cheerleading, not politics!” Um, actually, Penny, it’s journalism, and yes, it should be objective. I mean, unless you’re Hunter S. Thompson or something, but it’s safe to say Elizabeth is very, very far from being a talented Gonzo writer.

Todd is starting to notice that Elizabeth’s been distracted lately, and comments that night at Miller’s Point that she doesn’t seem into it. He tells her he’s been getting the feeling lately that she’s bored with him and the relationship. Aw. I feel for him. He’s been pretty awesome in this miniseries so far (very supportive with no punching or sexism). But Elizabeth convinces him that everything’s okay.

Later on, Jessica bounds into Elizabeth’s room to brag about another date with Ken. Okay, she’s really rubbing it in now. She tries to make Elizabeth admit that Ken’s the best kisser out of anyone she’s ever been out with, but Elizabeth yells at her to get out.

Jessica holds an extra practice to watch a cheerleading visualization video with the wanna-bes. Um, okay. Do they make those? (Shit, I think they do!)

Elizabeth interviews Heather for her Pom-Pom Wars story. Heather is a rabid bitch. Liz gets so angry at Heather that she becomes convinced that Jessica is doing the right thing by creating her own squad, and helps Jessica out with writing a cheer. Yay! Normally I'd be like "sif Jessica needs Liz's shit writing skills", but simplistic rhymes seem to be Elizabeth's specialty, so maybe she's found her calling.

Thursday at practice, the girls actually seem to have improved. Maybe the visualization tape worked. Elizabeth does a perfect round-off back handspring, back handspring. I don’t get why Liz is such an awesome cheerleader straight away. She’s never done any cheerleading before, ever! She works on the newspaper all the time! When is she secretly practicing round-offs? Just because she’s related to Jessica, she’s great at it? It’s stupid.

On Friday afternoon, the cream of the crop remains: Jessica, Lila, Elizabeth, Maria, Sandy, Jade, Patty, and a girl named Sara Eastbourne. Let me get this straight – Jessica auditioned the whole school to find ONE girl (Sara) she didn’t think of herself? That was weird. The squad’s all magically perfect by now and stuff (yeah...after one week of practice!). They do things I’ve never heard of, like side bananas, Y-Leaps and Trojan-crunch combinations.

There’s a quick moment from Heathers POV where her squad is watching Jessica’s perform, and getting nervous because they’re so good now. But Heather knows something Jessica doesn’t know – that only one squad per school can go to regionals! Oh noes! (You’d think that would be one of the first things Jessica would check, but we all know she isn’t blessed with that kind of foresight) Heather mentally bitches that Jessica is no longer the most popular girl at school, and that it’s Heather’s turn now.

The next day, Jessica gets the memo (through Lila, after Heather kindly told her) about the one-squad rule. She is upset, but immediately rings up Mr. Jenkins (the American Cheerleading Association scout scout who decided to send ‘Heather’s’ squad to regionals). He tells her he’s already been to Sweet Valley High once and doesn’t plan on returning (lol) because he’s busy scouting other teams. Not to be discouraged, though, Jessica decides to take the show to him.

Apparently he lives over in Bridgewater, which is not too far away (how convenient). Jessica and the girls greet him on his lawn in a standing pyramid, and proceed to dazzle him with a fantastic routine. Mr. Jenkins applauds and calls the routine “dazzling…highly technical and very original”. But he still can’t send them to regionals – the rule is only one squad per school. Damn! Jessica tears up, and murmurs that she’s sorry for wasting everyone’s time.

The girls all talk about cheerleading, and Patty and Jade are all “cheerleading has really empowered us in this last week! It’s a shame to give it up!” (Gag me).

On the way home, the girls hear on the radio about the game between Sweet Valley and El Carro, and how Sweet Valley is getting trounced. Jessica’s spirit (stick!) comes back, and asks if the girls are ready for a performance. Elizabeth is all ‘but we’re not the real squad!’, but Jess is like ‘we should let the fans decide that!’. Jess sneaks into the audio room and convinces the girl to play her tape instead of Heather’s (somehow). At halftime, Jessica’s squad jumps in front of Heather’s squad (I really want to say ‘Teen Girl Squad’) and does their routine awesomely, to the approval of the crowd. “We’ve got the beat and our team’s got the heat! We will defeat any rivals we meet!”, they cheer. It ain’t Shakespeare, but for a cheer it isn’t bad I guess. Jess sees Heather standing to the side with her mouth hanging open, her pom-poms all limp in her hands. YEAH! TAKE THAT HEATHER! NOW YOU SEE HOW IT FEELS! GET SOME, GET SOME! *RIPS SHIRT OFF*…uh, sorry. I’m on Team Jessica. We get a little excited.

The football team ends up winning, and of course, it’s all due to that awesome spirit-filled cheering. Because it was totally all about inspiring the team, and not showing Heather up or anything.

Everyone coos all over Jessica’s squad at the Dairi Burger that night (there’s so much Dairi Burger action in this miniseries! The owners of that restaurant must be tearing their hair out). Even Bruce says the performance was awesome. The football team tells Jess her squad should definitely take over from Heather’s. The only thing that tarnishes this perfect moment is Amy Sutton charging over and tearfully asking how Jessica could do this to her, and saying how humiliated she is. Then she tells Jessica “I guess this means we’re not friends anymore!”…Oh, this means you’re not friends anymore???? I thought that maybe YOU LEAVING JESSICA FOR HEATHER would mean you’re not friends anymore, Amy! Jessica must think the same thing, because she just kind of shrugs when Amy leaves, and I don’t blame her.

On Monday, Jessica endearingly charges her way into ‘Chrome Dome’ (Mr. Cooper, the principal)’s office and tells him the whole Heather/regionals story. Chrome Dome admits that he thought her squad was really ‘terrific’ and showed lots of school spirit, despite the unorthodox waltzing-onto-the-field-with-no-authorization thing. He agrees that the school should be able to choose their own squad to represent them, and decides there should be a sort of “cheer off” the next afternoon, where both squads will perform and the school body can vote on which one they like the best. The nerds, goths and burnouts at SVH must all be groaning at having to attend that one. I bet the token Wiccan goth has plans to curse Jessica.

Soon, everyone at school is buzzing about the cheer-off. This ghostwriter demonstrates their complete lack of understanding of modern high school kids: “Is it true?” Students were demanding of each other. “A cheer-off? Wow, cool, what a great idea!”. Jessica demonstrates her unabashed disdain for modesty: “It’s pretty clear why we have an edge,” Jessica told her fans, slipping an arm around Elizabeth’s waist. “The old squad used to have one Wakefield twin, but now it has none – while my squad has two!” Heather is not pleased about the cheer-off, and snarls that Jessica is just looking for attention. Which is probably true, but also, you suck, Heather.

Mr. Collins give Elizabeth further advice for her ‘friend’ with the boyfriend problems (see previous recap): honesty is the best policy. Elizabeth decides that she should really tell Todd about the Ken thing, or she’ll just be eaten alive by guilt (I think this is a stupid idea). That afternoon, Elizabeth invites Enid over and confesses the whole sordid Ken-affair story, as well as the blackmail thing. Enid is shocked/surprised but doesn’t judge Elizabeth (you just know she’s secretly gloating about this, though). She backs Liz up that telling Todd is the right idea. I disagree! What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, Liz. I just don’t see the point in telling him about a fling that happened when they were broken up, if it is only going to make him hate her, but I digress…

Liz and Todd go on a date that night (at Guidos) and Liz resolves to tell him, but of course Todd acts so nice and supportive and she can’t bring herself to. Add to that that Jessica and Ken turn up for a brief cameo, and it all turns to shit. Todd starts ranting about how cool it is that Jess and Ken have hooked up (I thought Todd hated Jessica), and if you can believe it, he even slips in an “I’m so lucky to have Ken as a best friend – loyalty. That’s what friendship is all about, right?” ...Yeah, there’s no way she can tell him now.

More Jessica arrogance: “When it comes to cheerleading, I’m the best there is, she thought, brimming with confidence. Heather may be hot, but I’m volcanic!” Could I have a teaspoon of your self-confidence, please Jess?

Just before the cheer-off, Amy runs up to Jessica. Lol, I LOVE this exchange:

“Jessica, can we talk?” asked Amy, her own expression conciliatory.
Jessica shrugged. “Yes, I believe we both have the capability of speech,” she said haughtily.
“Oh, don’t be a pain, you know what I mean.” Amy grabbed Jessica’s arm and gave it a yank. “Just give me a chance to say one thing, OK?”

Amy’s ‘one thing’ is an apology and a concession that Jessica is right to fight for her right to cheer. They make up (I wouldn’t be so quick to forgive her, but hey, that’s me).

The cheer-off is practically exploding with school spirit. I’ll spare you the details of the routines and stuff, but Jessica’s squad kicks ass. Heather’s squad is also really, really good though. For some reason, Mr. Jenkins is there counting some votes. Huh? I thought he was too busy to come out to Sweet Valley again. I hate when SV books are discontinuous WITHIN THEMSELVES. Anyway, when the votes are in…..the two squads tie exactly (oh, SURE). Mr. Jenkins announces that they are all going to regionals! The two squads can merge, with Jessica and Heather both serving as cocaptains!

…Except that they totally don’t want that. The squads are happy, but Jess and Heather both storm off, refusing to work with each other. Day-am.

In the next couple of days, the cheerleaders come up with a plan to get Jessica and Heather ‘back together’. They tell each of the captains that the other has stepped down, but not to rub it in the other’s face. This plan has major logistical problems, but somehow it works throughout the practices, with each girl humoring the other one. Magically, neither yells “I’m the captain, so shut up and stop acting like you still are,” which is what would have happened in real life.

Jess and Ken have a lovey-dovey date at Casey’s ice cream parlour that night. Jessica tells Ken she’s never liked anyone this much. What about Sam, Jessica?? Ken weirdly tells Jessica that if she eats the huge sundae she ordered, she’ll never get off the ground at regionals tomorrow. How supportive.

Right before regionals the next day, Heather and Jessica have a big fight. But the rest of the squad basically tells them to STFU, and they come to a reluctant truce.

Ken comes up behind Elizabeth, mistaking her for Jessica, and murmurs that he’ll pick her up to watch a meteor shower that night. Cos Liz wants Ken so bad, she sinks into his embrace and plays along, thinking that she’ll tell Jessica that Ken mentioned some plans later. Then Heather shows up. Liz thinks she probably didn’t see what happened, but she could be wrong...

Sweet Valley High win the regionals! (Wow, couldn’t see that one coming) When they announce the award though, they name Heather and Jessica as cocaptains. At first the girls yell that they quit, but the rest of squad are like ‘get over it, you bat brains’, and they end up with another truce. And so, next stop = state championships.

Elizabeth goes to tell Jess what Ken says, but instead, it tumbles out of her mouth that Ken has a family commitment tonight and will call Jessica later. Ohhh, Liz, this is a bad idea! Jess decides to party with Lila instead, and invites Liz, but Liz pretends she is tired and will stay home instead.

But she doesn’t stay home…she dresses up Jessica-ly and goes out with Ken, pretending that she is Jessica. The anticipation builds up until they finally kiss…but all Liz feels is “a fuzzy, affectionate warmth overlaid by a sudden, confusing sorrow”. Liz realizes that she misses Todd at the same time that Ken realizes he is not kissing Jessica. Liz confesses the whole jealousy story to Ken. He is freaked out at first, but then understanding, and even confesses that what drew him to Jessica at first was the fact that she was Elizabeth’s sister (um, how creepy).  But he really does love Jessica now…yeah, sure. They decide to be friends, and for some reason head over to Todd’s to confess to him together about the past affair (?!).

Lila is having an awesome party (of course) and Jessica attempts to make small talk with Heather, whom she still dislikes. Heather asks if Liz is out with Ken, and Jess is like “Wha? No, he’s my boyfriend”. Then Heather’s all fake surprised and “Oh…but I could have sworn I saw…but maybe it wasn’t what it looks like”. Jessica, worried, runs off to call Liz, and sure enough, she isn’t there. Jessica jumps to wild conclusions and thinks that Elizabeth and Ken are still having an affair. She calls Todd, but Liz gave him the same story. She drives home and sees that Liz isn’t there, and freaks out.

Elizabeth and Ken pull up at Todd’s (to confess to the past affair), but when they walk inside (without knocking?!) they find Jessica showing Todd Liz’s diary. Todd is pale and Jess is tear-stained. Everyone screams at each other and no one listens to reason. Um, you’d think the fact that Ken and Elizabeth showed up at Todd’s would warrant some kind of explanation, but for some reason Jessica just assumes they were having an affair. Jessica yells dramatic stuff at Ken and breaks up with him, and….

That’s the end of this book =D

So to answer my own questions at the start of this recap, no, Liz didn’t find Jessica’s tearstains on her sheets, and Annie and Heather obviously didn’t have a lesbian fling (unfortunately). But Jessica did create her own squad, and it was made of awesome.

Find out what happens next in my recap of #114, V for Victory – coming soon!