SVH Senior Year #30: Close to You
Look guys, I'm not dead! My local library apparently doesn't realize the true value of Sweet Valley books, because they seem to have purged them all, cutting off my supply for snarkage. I am shocked and appalled! I am also addicted to this community, enough so that I spent some time prowling e-bay, and now with a fresh stock of books (and fresh mockage from my husband for actually having spent money on these things), I shall pick up where I left off! Yeah, I heard you all groaning. I'm just going to ignore it.



The A Plot:
After talking to his friends, Jeremy realizes he and Jessica haven't discussed their options for college yet. It's become a major point of contention for buddy Stan and his girlfriend Linda; they want to go to schools in different part of the country. Jeremy is nervous, but decides someone as adventurous as Jessica will want to get out of Sweet Valley for university, which is good because he's got his eye on the archaeology program at Arizona University. In fact, he's confident enough in Jessica's sense of adventure he tells his friends they'll both be going out of state for college, they just have to decide where. Which... what? He announces this to his friends without talking to the girl first? He doesn't even say "she'll probably want." And yet, Jeremy is supposed to be the nice, considerate guy in the series. Ouch.

Later, Jessica and Jeremy set up a date at the carnival visiting town. After Jessica's past experiences with carnivals, one would think this would be the last place she'd want to hang out with a date, but apparently no, she's miraculously forgotten and thinks it'll be fun and romantic. Since carnivals are always more fun in groups, the two of them try to think of another couple to come with them, but there don't seem to be any other ridiculously nauseating pairs floating around. Once she gets off the phone with Jeremy, Jessica and Elizabeth have a discussion about what colleges they'd like to attend. Neither of them can see attending college anywhere but California; after all, why would they want to be anywhere but Sweet Valley? Nice setup there, ghostwriter. Subtle. I'm sure the whole 1bruce1 community is on the edge of their seats, waiting to find out what clever twist you have up your sleeve now!

The next day, on her way home from school, Jessica sees some guy she doesn't recognize hanging around her mailbox. Despite this being Sweet Valley, complete with rapist around every bush, Jessica approaches the stranger, only to realize it's Damon Ross, her boyfriend from Junior High! The two of them catch up, discussing some of their old friends from school. I am vaguely impressed at the continuity attempt. My being so easily impressed depresses me. I need some chocolate to get through the rest of the book. Damon is in town meeting with people from SVU; he wants to switch over from Seattle, since SVU has the programs he really wants. Jessica is excited to think this hunk of man meat her old friend will be going to school so close by, and the two of them try to figure out a time they can hang out. Sadly, Damon's time in Sweet Valley is limited, and Jessica is busy with school and Jeremy (who she feels strangely reluctant to mention; she never really changes, does she?).

Later, at the carnival, Jess and Jeremy are having a pretty good time on their date. They run into some friends of Jeremy's from Big Mesa, including the aforementioned Stan and Linda. Their bickering leads Jeremy's buddy Trent to comment on how lucky Jessica and Jeremy are, that they can agree on schools easily, since they both want to get out of Sweet Valley. Jessica, of course, is upset. How could Jeremy assume what she wants and announce it to his friends? And what's all this about leaving Sweet Valley? Doesn't he know that's a fate worse than death? She tells him she has every intention of staying in California. Jeremy is upset; none of the schools he's considering are in California. So they decide to end their date and discuss it tomorrow. Which... makes no sense to me. It's not like they're angry and shouting at each other, needing some time to cool off. Is one of them supposed to have changed their minds by the next day? Why do they even need to go to the same school? They're 17 years old, for crying out loud!

The next day, a whole bunch of college applications come in the mail for Jeremy. He briefly looks at the one for SVU, thinks "nah," and chucks it in the garbage. He then fills out the application for Arizona. This is supposed to be dramatic, but it's really kind of boring. Jessica is all upset over her and Jeremy's different goals, but her cheerleading buddies aren't really too helpful. The topic keeps changing every two seconds, but finally someone mentions something about relationships being built on give and take. This is a foreign concept to Jessica. Give and take? Huh. Words to mull over.

As Jessica is getting ready for her date with Jeremy, Damon calls. He says things are looking good for him at SVU, and Jessica thinks "of course they are!" Because Damon is attractive, and everything just falls into place for pretty people. She is way too excited at the prospect of Damon moving back to Sweet Valley, but given her new resolve for more give and take in her current relationship, she does finally mention she has a boyfriend. Damon has no reaction to this news whatsoever, which confuses Jessica. Shouldn't he be devastated? Again, the two of them try to make plans, but their schedules just won't allow for it. They promise to e-mail and hang up.

Jeremy comes to pick Jess up, and she agrees to go see the movie he wants, an action flick she knows she's going to hate but she's determined to give a little. She's also figured out a compromise for the school issue; maybe they can agree to go to school away from Sweet Valley, but still in California. That way they'd still be close enough to visit their families regularly, but not stuck in the middle of the same thing. Of course, as soon as they're seated in the movie theatre, Jeremy announces he's filled out his application for Arizona. Jessica is shocked. Shocked! What about letting him choose the movie? After some give, she should get some take, too! They get into a fight and Jessica storms out of the theatre, upset that Jeremy would choose schooling over her. She is, after all Jessica Wakefield, the Centre of the Universe.

Jessica goes home, and is almost immediately bored out of her mind. Then she remembers Damon had wanted to do something, and now that she's no longer on her date with Jeremy, she has some free time. So she calls him up, and the two of them head out to the beach. They chat and catch up, and Jessica finds herself wishing Jeremy could follow Damon's example. Damon's trying new and exciting things, but he's planning to do it here in Sweet Valley. Which makes me scratch my head a bit, since the new and exciting things he's described decidedly did not happen in Sweet Valley.

At the movie theatre, Jeremy tries to enjoy the movie by himself, but he can't. He feels bad about their fight, and goes to call her, but she's not home. He doesn't seem too worried about this, but after all, why should he be? It's not like Jessica would ever stoop to deception or anything.

The next day at work, Jess is still mad at Jeremy. He's bewildered that she'd still be mad, because he did, after all, send her an apologetic e-mail (which she hasn't read). I don't know about the rest of you, but in my books, an e-mail wouldn't cut it. Apologies should be made in person. Preferrably involving chocolate. Possibly flowers, but chocolate is better. (I'll let him off on the make-up sex, though, considering Francine hasn't realized it exists.) The two of them start a lovely hostile shift, until the phone rings. Jeremy's father is in the hospital, and he has to leave immediately. Jessica is worried, but she can't take off after him, since she's now the only one on shift and there's a lineup of customers.

Jeremy's mom and two younger sisters are already at the hospital by the time he gets there, and staff won't let them in the room, since Jeremy's dad is apparently resting. This seems odd to me. Unless he's in critical condition (which he isn't), doctors wouldn't be standing guard over the room. They'll pop in and out, but unless you're causing a ruckus, nobody really pays much attention to the visitors. I guess the doctors here are like the police, though; they only come in to interfere when it's convenient for the plot. Jeremy keeps his sisters occupied, and finally a doctor comes to tell them what's going on. Jeremy's dad had some heart palpitations (he had a heart attack earlier in the year), probably caused by too much stress. He can go home in a couple of days, but his family are going to have to force him to take it easy.

Meanwhile, Jessica is finishing up her exhausting shift at the House of Java when Damon pops by. He basically just wants to say bye, and hopes they can hang out if/when he comes to SVU, because he'll need someone to cheer him up. He will, after all, have to leave his girlfriend behind so he can get the education he needs. What does SVU specialize in, anyway? Does anyone know? They're building it up to be this great school with exclusive opportunities, but everyone and their dog ends up going there. Even Bruce Patman and Olivia attend SVU... you know, after their Harvard rejections and resurrections from the dead.

After talking to Damon, Jessica realizes that, ironically, while she was wishing Jeremy could follow Damon's example, the two of them are facing the exact same decision. They both have to choose between their girlfriends and their education. She can easily see choosing to relocate to SVU is the right decision for Damon, so why is it so much harder to see it for Jeremy? I love that she seriously can't figure out why she can be more objective in Damon's situation. Clearly, her many boyfriends aren't after her for her brains.

As soon as her shift is over, Jessica heads over to the hospital. Jeremy is relieved to see her, and the two of them kiss and make up. Jess tells him he should follow his dreams to Arizona. Jeremy says he's decided to stay in Sweet Valley, so he can stay close to his family, the hospital scare having made him realize how important it was to him. Oh yeah, and Jess too. Jessica is happy, because clearly all her give and take paid off. I... I don't even have words for that. The only give I saw was her agreeing to see his movie (for once), and then she stormed out in the first few minutes. But I guess if you're blonde, beautiful, and a perfect size six, that's all the giving you have to do.

The B Plot:
Last time, Conner dumped Liz for Alanna, a girl he met in rehab. They have everything in common! Drunk mothers, neglectful fathers, and general drunkenness. But despite having everything in common, dating is not so very easy for them. Alanna wants to meet Conner's friends, so he sets up an evening at Crescent Beach with her, Tia, and Andy. Andy accidently invites Evan, though, and Conner is not pleased when Evan shows up, after all the Evan/Liz drama that happened while Conner was in rehab. Conner stalks off to sulk, leaving Alanna alone with his friends. In the awkwardness, Alanna makes the worst first impression ever, and finally the others leave. Conner doesn't come back until they do, and Alanna's stressing out over her big FAIL in making nice with his buddies. He tells her he doesn't care, and his friends will come around eventually. They're so much alike! How can his friends not like Alanna? I really don't get the attraction in dating someone you think is exactly like yourself. All your personal flaws, doubled in the relationship? Hmm. The next day, Conner decides to drop by Alanna's house, knowing she was upset over the way the evening with his friends went. Having never been there before, he looks her up on the internet, and drives over. The closer he gets to the house, the deeper the feeling he gets something is wrong. The area is ritzy, to Lila Fowler proportions. He finally gets to Alanna's house, and it's a mansion (complete with a double staircase and cathedral windows). The housekeeper, who answers the door, tells him Alanna is out for her weekly dinner with her parents, but he can feel free to leave a message. He does. It essentially says "have a nice life." Conner's a real prize. I totally understand why all the girls are so into him. He goes home to angst about how Alanna misled him and destroyed his trust! He thought they were exactly alike, but she goes out for dinner weekly with her parents. How... terrible? When Alanna gets home and reads Conner's note, she knows she's in trouble. She exaggerated certain aspects of her home life when talking to him so he'd relate better to her. She keeps trying to call him and he keeps avoiding her, so finally she shows up at his house and tries to explain. Despite appearances, her mother really is an alcoholic, and her father really doesn't care about where she is or what she's doing. As long as they can present the front of being "perfect" to their buddies at the country club, nobody cares what Alanna's doing. Conner dismisses this and takes off. Now that he knows they're not EXACTLY ALIKE anymore, he can't have anything to do with her. He wanders around Sweet Valley, angsting. He whines about how Alanna's life seems even more perfect than Elizabeth's, and someone like that could never understand a tortured soul like his! I'll bet Conner has to wear long sleeved sweaters to hide all the razerblade marks. He starts home, and realizes upon seeing his house that from the outside, his home seems pretty idyllic. His mom is now working hard to keep the family together, and he's always been close with is sister. Maybe... maybe appearances can be deceiving! He thinks maybe he should give Alanna another chance. Meanwhile, Alanna is at home and depressed. Nobody loves her! She has no friends! Her parents don't understand her! And now Conner, the only person who she could ever really talk to, is refusing to talk to her! Also, she can't sleep. Everything keeps mounting up until she thinks she can't take it anymore, and so she rummages around until she finds a flask hidden in her underwear drawer. She tells herself it won't hurt anyone, and she can always go back on the wagon tomorrow.

The C Plot:
This was actually the most entertaining part of the book. Tia and Andy seem to have won some contest (I have no idea when or what contest; I don't think it's ever been mentioned before), and the prize is a weekend in New York City. It's all hosted by QTV (which is a thinly disguised MTV), and Tia is psyched! She goes nuts making preparations, while Andy sits by and makes sure he packs enough underwear, because he can just borrow everything else from Tia, since he knows she'll have brought five times more crap than she needs. They leave the night after having met Alanna, and Tia gets overexcited about everything, while Andy tries to play things cool. The hotel gives them a room with only one bed, and Tia uses her assertiveness to get them a free second room, and Andy is impressed. Perhaps he should try this assertive thing sometime. They get in to watch the live taping of a couple of shows, and go to see some really terrible standup. One of the guys makes a joke offensive to both gays and women, and Andy calls him on it (from the audience). One of the staff asks Andy if he'd like to try some standup, and of course Tia encourages him. He's awesome, and is the first comic of the evening to crack everyone up. He decides he really likes this standup thing. Later, he and Tia bemoan their single status, wondering why they don't both have awesome boyfriends, because they're both made of awesome. Hee.