SVT #38, Lois Strikes Back
I just moved into a new apartment, where I was very excited to find built-in bookshelves in one of my closets. It's the perfect place to display my Sweet Valley and BSC books, while still keeping them "skeletons in the closet"!

I grabbed this one randomly this morning.

This picture of the cover looks kinda blurry, but that's Lois with the determined look on her face. She's wearing ... I don't even know what to call them ... pleated khaki trousers? With a tucked-in polo shirt? (Or is that a white vest over her blue polo shirt?) She also doesn't look that overweight. Next to her, dressed a little more appropriately for a bike-a-thon in his hot spandex shorts and yellow t-shirt, and looking very sinister, is Bruce Patman. Bruce looks a little bit like Jessica and Elizabeth on this cover (without the long blonde hair).

We begin the book with Jessica and Elizabeth in the hallways of Sweet Valley Middle School. Liz is worried because they're running late for homeroom, but Jessica wants to meet some Unicorn to check up on their Unicorn meeting that afternoon. Elizabeth sighs and wonders how two girls can look exactly alike, yet act so very different. Is it just me, or do many of the SVT books start out exactly like this?

Anyway, they make it to homeroom, where big news awaits. Mr. Davis, the once-sexist homeroom teacher, announces to everyone that the PTA has another fundraiser in store -- this time, they want to raise money for a new VCR and tapes for the library -- and to earn money, they will be holding a bike-a-thon for the students of SVMS. The prize is an 18-speed, bright blue mountain bike. That sounds kind of boring to me, personally, but not to the kids at SVMS! Everyone wants to win the mountain bike, from Ken Matthews and Winston Egbert, to Bruce Patman and Lois Waller. Lois especially wants the bike, because she thinks it will be perfect for her new paper route. All the kids talk about the bike-a-thon at lunchtime; everyone's happy and excited.

But then Bruce goes and spoils the mood, first for Ken and Winston (he mocks Winston's bike!) and then for his real victim, Lois. Since Lois is overweight, in Sweet Valley that makes her a constant target for ridicule. Bruce has been bullying her more than usual, and on this particular occasion, he decides to shout out loud to the entire cafeteria the contents of Lois's tray. Of course, it's loaded down with food -- one huge helping of spaghetti, two pieces of garlic bread, chocolate milk, cake, AND ice cream! Actually, spaghetti and garlic bread sound really good right now. Bruce says that they're "going to have to change your name to Lois Walrus if you keep going at this rate." Clever, Bruce. Everyone laughs, and Lois just sits there and cries -- her "friends" Elizabeth and Amy barely do anything, either, until Bruce leaves, and then they condescendingly tell Lois to "just ignore him."

Back at the Wakefield's split-level ranch house... Jessica's whining to her parents that she and Elizabeth will have to share all of their sponsors for the bike-a-thon and will therefore make only half the money that everyone else does. I'm sure there are other pairs of siblings at SVMS? Maybe not. Anyway, Ned and Alice both put up a dollar for each of the girls for every mile they ride, while Steven pledges a whopping nickel per mile. Later that night, Lila and Ellen come over after dinner. Lila thinks the bike-a-thon sounds lame. She'd rather talk about her uncle Seth, the one who works at the record company (continuity!), who can send her the new Johnny Buck record ... before it's even in stores!! Lila, Ellen, and Jessica also make fun of Lois Waller, recounting the scene at lunchtime and laughing about it. Ellen doesn't think Lois could last a mile in the bike-a-thon! Liz overhears them and gets really mad; she thinks it's "terrific" that Lois plans to ride!

The next day, at lunch, Bruce is once again taunting Lois. This time, it happens when they're still in the lunch line -- where Bruce happens to be standing right behind Lois. Somehow, Lois drops her book bag and Bruce gets all tangled up in the straps and spills his lunch all over himself!! He's covered with milk and macaroni and cheese!!! Everyone laughs at him!!! The janitor makes BRUCE clean it up!!! Bruce takes this a little too personally, and decides to get revenge on Lois. He's even still stewing about it a few days later. That's when Bruce bumps into Jessica at the mall, and they both see Lois going into a candy store (of course, what else would she be at the mall for if not food?). Bruce tells Jess that Lois "hasn't heard the last" from him. Bruce seems sort of creepily obsessed with Lois. Jessica must think so, too, because she "knows better" than to ask how Bruce will get his revenge.

He gets his chance after hearing the latest hot gossip at SVMS -- Lois has 23 sponsors for the bike-a-thon! She asked her relatives, neighbors, and even put up signs in stores. Considering all the trouble she went to, 23 really doesn't seem like that much, but apparently it's by far the highest number of anyone at SVMS. Bruce learns about Lois's 23 sponsors and starts to envoke his evil revenge plan. At dinner that night, he hits his parents up for bike-a-thon money. He pretends to be really concerned about the library, and Hank and Marie are pleased by this. So they agree to pledge ... twenty dollars per mile. If Bruce rides the entire 20-mile course, that comes out to six hundred dollars!! Bruce figures that there's no way Lois will ride the whole 30 miles. In his mind, he has the bike-a-thon all sewn up. It's the perfect revenge! Or is it?

The next day, Bruce doesn't just confront Lois right away, he stalks her before doing so. He follows her around all day long, making her nervous (she confides this to Liz, and even eats just lettuce and tomatoes at lunchtime so Bruce won't make fun of her food). Finally, he confronts her that afternoon and shares his evil revenge plan. At first Lois is shaken. But don't worry ... Saint Elizabeth will come to her rescue! At the Dairi Burger, Liz and Amy and Julie and Lois all figure out that Lois's combined pledge total is $18.50 per mile. Lois decides, no biggie, she just needs to find some more sponsors and equal Bruce's total. Then she just might win the bike-a-thon!

Lois finds her sponsors at her mother's work ... Sweet Valley High? No. Mrs. Waller must change jobs between series -- because in this book, she's not the dietician at SVHS. Instead she works at a retirement home. Mrs. Waller had warned Lois not to "bother" the residents at the home about sponsoring. But Lois spills out her story to one of the residents anyway, and the woman decides that sponsoring Lois would be something "exciting" for the poor bored residents at the home. So Lois ends up with an even higher pledge total then Bruce's six hundred dollars! Now the only question is ... will she be able to ride the entire 30 miles?

We shall soon find out. The morning of the bike-a-thon rolls around; it also happens to be the day that the new Johnny Buck record arrives at Lila's house. At this point, the Unicorns have long since decided to drop out of the bike-a-thon. But Jessica knows she'll get in trouble with her parents if she tells them she's quit (why?). So she lets all the air out of her tire, hoping that Ned and Alice will deem her bike too unsafe to ride. On bike-a-thon day, after breakfast in the sunny Spanish-style kitchen, she mentions her "flat" tire. Her plan almost works -- Ned and Alice are all concerned -- until Steven decides to show off his handyman skills and "fix" Jessica's tire. So Jessica confesses to her parents that she'd rather go listen to Johnny Buck. Just as Jess thought, her parents say no; they firmly tell her that she "made a commitment" and she's only allowed to go to Lila's after she finishes the bike-a-thon. So Jess hatches a new plan: to ride a really short distance and then drop out when she's close to Lila's. Actually, I think that's not a bad compromise. Liz disagrees with me and disapproves, but she agrees not to tell their parents that Jessica intentionally dropped out early.

Over at SVMS, the bike-a-thon is just about to start. It's revealed that the stupid Sixers will cover the event, and two reporters will follow the top two contenders. So Liz is going to ride with Lois, and Amy will ride with Bruce. I guess Lois's polo on the cover is really supposed to be a t-shirt, because Liz notes that "in a t-shirt and shorts, Lois didn't appear to be quite so heavy." Spare me, Liz. So, the bike-a-thon starts, and Lois rides at a snail's pace -- way too slow for Liz! -- but the ride turns out to be not as boring as Elizabeth expected. It does, after all, take place in perfect, picturesque Sweet Valley! Liz and Lois barely manage to ride 22 miles before Lois decides that she just can't take it anymore. They wonder about Bruce, but they'd lost sight of him very early on in the race.

At home, in her navy-and-cream-colored bedroom, Liz calls Amy and finds out that she, too, lost sight of Bruce early on. After talking with Jessica (who dropped out after four miles) and learning that Bruce turned up at Lila's not long after Jessica, wheels start to turn in Lizzie's mind... the next day, Bruce claims that he rode the entire route. Lois takes his victory well. But Elizabeth still suspects that Bruce might not have really won the race at all!!

Liz invites Lois to her home after school. While there, Lois turns down some ice cream in favor of fruit; she shyly admits to Elizabeth that she's on a diet. She's already lost two pounds!!! Too bad her diet is going to fail (well, at any rate, she's overweight again in SVH). Meanwhile, the mystery deepens, as Elizabeth finds Bruce at a park or something and demands to know why he's walking instead of riding one of his awesome bikes (because now he has two of them!). Bruce gives some vague reason and Elizabeth (who really needs to mind her own business) doesn't believe him.

So she probes on; she and Jessica even declare a bet (Jessica loves Bruce in this series and believes in his innocence). Finally, as the deadline for their bet approaches, Elizabeth comes up with just the right plan to get Bruce to confess. It happens in the cafeteria (oh, how fitting, given Bruce's earlier tormenting there...) Liz and Lois use Bruce's ego and finally get him to confess that he crashed and smashed his bike after only eight miles. Lizzie and Lois are all smug, and Liz publishes the Sixers article with the headline WALLER WINS. Later, it's revealed that Bruce cheated by punching out the miles on his card himself. I think Bruce has some issues. Hank and Marie "graciously" agree to let SVMS keep their six hundred dollars. Lois gets her bike, and a big assembly. All's well that ends well (except for Bruce). And that is how Lois struck back!