|"Construction" by fallenfromabove, Kerry/Sandy
||[Jan. 3rd, 2005|03:05 am]
Book Used: "Things Fall Apart" by Chinua Achebe (or something along those lines- my bad.) I used the title.
Word used: Ocean
Word Count: I haven't a clue its gone, remember? *smiles sweetly and begs for forgiveness*
Pairing: Kerry/Sandy, Kerry/Henry
Authors Note: The whole topic of Kerry/Sandy/Henry makes me cry and I think this is a side of it that was never addressed. We never saw the issues of Kerry alone with him, realising that she is biologically not related to him. I'm not sure if it would matter to her, I think it might. And this is my drabble about it. It's a product of loneliness and sadness at 3am. Forgive me?
And you remind yourself that things fall apart.
It's helpful to do that when everything you know has crumbled to the ground and here you are trying to build them up again.
There is a baby in the next room, oblivious to your struggles, whom is crying the way you are inside. The type of crying you feel that you may never recover from, the type that makes you feel deprived of oxygen, like you are drowning in an enormous ocean and as if you're utterly broken.
You're trying so hard to love this baby and yet can't help but feel this crying is the only thing you have in common at all. DNA shouldn't matter. But more than anyone you know that it does.
Each time you look into those big brown eyes of his you know they do not belong to you, they belong to the woman you loved, and to a past where you could actually imagine yourself as a mother.
Undoubtedly in a moment you'll piece your fragile remains together and tend to his tears, wrap him up and tell him everything will be okay. But this only makes you feel like a fraud, like a liar and a cheat. It also makes you feel like you're turning into your own mother, the mother you never knew.
Maybe you and Henry have more in common than you think.